Make me feel better about this dating scenario....

[writergirl747474]

So had a second date with a Bumble guy last night. Got on really well again (as per first date). Lots to chat about, lots of compliments. First guy I've connected with in a while.

We went back to mine and were snogging on the sofa, ending up both topless. He tried to undo my jeans about three times, I stopped him each time, eventually saying my period was due (it was), not that I should need an excuse to say no. I could feel he had a hard-on (although I didn't touch him etc).

We agreed to see each other again. He just text saying he is not feeling enough attraction to see me again. I'm gutted as first guy I've liked in a while - even though his pushiness last night put me off a bit.

He was just after a shag wasn't he? No doubt he'd have dumped me if I'd slept with him too and I'd feel worse. I called him out on it - saying he seemed keen to take things further last night. No response.

I know I'm better off out of it but my ego has taken a hit. I am fit and not unattractive and he was definitely turned on last night.

Just a bit pissed off as I thought all good.

Run away , you dodged a bullet there , There are better men out there for what its worth .

Yes. Well done for standing your ground last night. I expect you would feel even worse had you slept with him.

Nasty guy, bullet dodged.

Sod him. Sounds like he was after a shag but how incredibly rude to say it was a lack of attraction after things had got physical. Trying to punish you for not doing what he wanted.

Update: He said: "It's not because you said no, you didn't do anything wrong. I don't feel strongly enough about it, that's all."

I replied "Saying no is never wrong and I shouldn't have to say it more than once."

Hope my response made him feel crap.

What a dickhead. Pissed off as I liked him so my judgement must be well off. Plus it was helping me get over a bad crush on someone not interested and now absent from my life.

Yes, you guys all correct. If I'd slept with him I'd still be getting dumped. It was only a second date, too soon for sex. And I never let myself be pressured into it.

He was saying all the right things last night re attraction, my body etc. Sounds like he's punishing me for not giving him what he wanted.

Just pissed off as I thought we'd got on really well and fancied each other.

He's definitely negging you. Don't have any more to do with this loser. You're worth so much more.

You did absolutely the right thing and he's just got a bruised ego. Idiot.

You did the right thing. You couldn't have seen this coming. His ego can't take the rejection. You have really dodged a bullet here. Don't feel down, you should be proud of yourself for standing your ground and keeping your dignity

Ugh what a creep.Good riddance to him.The chances are your one of the lucky ones this cretin hasn't used for sex.

Thanks everyone. This is just the sort of stuff I need to hear!

He seemed so nice though, up until the needing to be told "no" several times stuff.

He's an idiot because I probably would have shagged him the next time.

Yep, he was just after one thing - forget him. There are amazing guys out there so don't worry about these weasels.

Bullet doged. Also be aware of 'love bombing'. Lots of compliments on a date is rarely a good thing. One or two, great. Lots, probably a love bomber.

There wasn't an overload of compliments to be honest. Just "you look fit, young for your age" etc.

It's true, I am fit! He missed out!

Well done for sticking to your own boundaries.

They're all nice to get your panties off.

I wouldn't bring someone back to mine or go to theirs so soon. Men think it's fuck time. Plus, I'd be worried about stalkers.

Thank god you didn't sleep with him.
Yes he was just after a shag.

@BumBurnerBum

Yes. Well done for standing your ground last night. I expect you would feel even worse had you slept with him.

Nasty guy, bullet dodged.

This.

Sounds scummy.

No loss.

You should feel good about yourself over this situation. Your self esteem, confidence and boundaries are strong and as a result you had advanced warning this guy would not be the respectful partner you deserve.

Don't let the mean words of his entitlement and bruised ego make you doubt yourself.

Thanks everyone.

Re. him coming back to mine. I made it very clear I wasn't sleeping with him - literally said outside "Don't get any ideas, I'm not going to have sex with you". Yet, seems that wasn't clear enough.

So attracted enough to push for sex but not enough (allegedly) to date you after you said no - what a twat. His ego is bruised because you said no so now he’s trying to make you question your attractiveness. I’d laugh in his face myself. Bullet dodged, don’t feel bad - you asserted your boundaries and he acted like a dick. That’s all on him not you.

Tbf men do think you are just saying that 😂 they certainly think it will still happen

@TurnUpTurnip

Tbf men do think you are just saying that 😂 they certainly think it will still happen

More fool them then. They should learn that no means no and people certainly shouldn’t be excusing their behaviour.

Of course no means no that’s not what I’m referring to! I’m referring to women inviting men back to their house then saying “but no sex” men still think they will be getting their leg over and you’re just saying no funny business to not look easy.

The whole “I don’t usually do this...”