Marry for love or money ?

[novembeer]

If u have to marry someone which one u will choose love or money .. u cannot choose both so plz don't say both ..

Love.

But I'm healthy so hopefully can always earn my own money

10% love (with a healthy dose of realism so similar ethics, drive for work, kindness etc)

Sometimes my life, through my husband's hobby, takes me to social events where there are quite a few 'trophy wife' types. Alright, I'm generalising but everyone I've met are not only very nice to look at but kind, funny, warm, sophisticated and usually highly educated if not born in the UK. 10/10 types on patriarchal standards and I am a 7 on a very good day,

But the men. . If you marry for money and get one of those, it turns my stomach. They aren't always that polite to me because it's clear I do nothing for them. They keep these nice women like pets. Every one of their social media profiles is their woman in a bikini or in their car. One was even groping his girlfriend under the table at a wedding. Just hideous, entitled behaviour. It makes me feel sad they don't have an equal partner, who loves them without conditions. (Not pity or smugness, more sadness and a surprising appreciation of my relationship)

There is maybe one couple I can think of where there connection is real and the man doesn't make my skin crawl. Both older and I think it did start as a trophy match but they do get each other and it's a bonus he's loaded. If they lost all their money, I would bet on them staying together

Money!

My life would be so much easier if I had made smart choices when young

The Elizabeth Broderick story is a cautionary tale of how marriages for love can end

Money

chips, socks.

Someone who can put a tent up, clean the loo, cook, do the garden, the laundry, stay out of debt, has a solid network of friends ....hold down a secure job, clean credit record, car that's insured, taxed and MOTd...no drug issues. Raise a child alone and that child thrives and the bond is huge..Someone who has travelled. Witnessed real poverty. Spent time among old-money. Knows the difference. Likes fish and chips.

A woman like this doesn't need anything but herself.

Love - not that I think it's that easy to find.

I would rather be poor and alone (which I am) than marry someone just for money.

@XelaM how so? In no press coverage does Betty Broderick seem to say she loved her husband. She also appears to have been incredibly materialistic.

I believe Betty married for the potential of having a future doctor husband. She made a calculated long term financial investment, the way I see it.

@Ufucofi

Someone who can put a tent up, clean the loo, cook, do the garden, the laundry, stay out of debt, has a solid network of friends ....hold down a secure job, clean credit record, car that's insured, taxed and MOTd...no drug issues. Raise a child alone and that child thrives and the bond is huge..Someone who has travelled. Witnessed real poverty. Spent time among old-money. Knows the difference. Likes fish and chips.

A woman like this doesn't need anything but herself.

I expect a lot of women havent done some of those things. Old money? What's that got to do with anything?

Anyway, I'm exhausted after doing lots of those things, and I hate fish

Money, as love fades

@ChippyChipper

You also get 50% if you turn into an arsehole.

Ten years ago? Love. Now? Money.

But I'm never getting married so it doesn't matter.

Assuming he's a decent person, money 100%. As Sonny and Cher said, you cannot pay bills with love. One of my dc was very ill for several years and the knowledge of there being a cushion of money (not loads, but enough) made this soooo much easier. If we were dirt poor the impact on the whole family would have been greatly magnified. Me being madly in love with DP would have been of zero help. Money doesn't buy happiness, but it allows choices and options which makes life easier.

Love, I couldn’t live with someone I didn’t love. They’d get on my nerves too much, and what if I got a rich guy but he was horrible and we had nothing in common or he was racist or sexist or I found him physically repulsive and I still had to shag him? I earn my own money so I get to pick love.

Theres lots of women who pick love and up with the task of spending their money on men just like you've described.

This is always discussed as if it's a very important decision because you must choose one or the other, in reality most people get neither surely.

Love, because marriage is bloody hard work and you'd only stick it for someone you really loved.

Love, always. I met my husband when I was 18, we got married 3 years later - still together now and I'm 62

If you have ask, neither.

Have to

Love - I just happened to love a very rich man

Neither - shared values are far more important.

Love

Love. Money won't give you that spark of joy in being truly seen, known and adored by another person. And love will make you not care about whether you have a huge house or fancy car.