Hi, I have a gorgeous little boy who will be 3 early next year. I really just need to vent a little, get my feelings out there.
His Dad has caused me no end of awful problems in the 5 years of us being together. He is an alcoholic (life time drinker),ruined a large part of his life etc but currently sober. About a month ago his Dad came to stay with us and before and during his Dads week long stay partner was drinking 10 cans a night or so (and during day) with his Dad. He threw this off as a bit of fun because his Dad was here and it was “fun”. I knew there was something about to happen as he is under obligations by social services to not drink, and to not be around us when he is drunk because frankly he is violent and dangerous. A little while after his Dad left he kept buying drinks despite my protestations and him insisting it was fine and he wouldn’t cause trouble. Shortly after he became severely verbally assault I’ve, threatening and intimidating. He was drunk and kept ordering me upstairs to sit in our bedroom and “enjoy my night”, every time I came downstairs worried for my son he would yell and shout. This escalated on his part to screaming and shouting in my face when I was holding our child, threatening me, insulting me, and basically forcing me to stay in the bedroom. He bathed my son, also against my wishes as I told him he was drunk and incapable - cue more screaming and yelling. Honestly I was terrified for my safety and my sons. He bathed my son who cried all the way through then brought him upstairs and stood over him shouting what an “effing” this that and the other he was and how he was doing his head in. Terrifying for my son I’m sure. I feel so guilty and trapped. I can’t forgive him and he’s bought me an engagement ring?? I’ve lived apart from him before at the request of social services and have my own place - but he basically stops me from going there and I’m scared to leave. Even so, if I did go to my house, whenever I’m away he rings me every 5 minutes and refuses to give me peace. I also live in a small place which I love but it isn’t exactly hard for him to know where I am/see me. Also we have animals (that I care for) - I feel he’d neglect our animals if I left and where I am living with him is legally his house. My son is now newly enrolled at a nursery near my partners house which he loves. Partner doesn’t work, hardly helps with our son, sits on video games all day. I do not want to leave my son on his own with my partner, at all and I’m so depressed that his behaviour has made me feel so awful. He has a long history of domestic violence, criminal damage caused by jealousy, and 4 other children (he only sporadically sees one of them when he’s with his Mum). We are going to see our families for Christmas and I just know he will start drinking again. This is a nightmare, I’ve had 5 years of his psychological torture and I don’t know where to start or what to do. I can speak to women’s aid to get advice - that’s the plan but it’s just getting the couch it age together to do it.