Argument with bf - am I catastrophising?

[hothead323]

I've been with my bf for 7 months, he is 32 and I am 31. We have different personalities - I am more outgoing and sociable whereas he is more reserved and quiet. This has worked well for us so far as we balance each other out.

I am quite opinionated and we don't necessarily agree on everything, and that's ok - we are all entitled to our opinion and it's ok to agree to disagree.

The thing is, where I am quite opinionated and passionate about certain topics and he is sensitive, he can perceive me as being angry when I'm not. This happened during a phone call this evening - we disagreed on an issue, I stated why I think differently to him etc, he thought my tone was angry and took offence. I wasn't angry, but him thinking that I was angry MADE me angry because i didn't feel I had given him any reason to feel this way and I feel like we should be able to have a grown up debate without it becoming such a big thing. We sort of resolved the issue via whatsapp (with me instigating this - he just said 'forget about it') by agreeing that it's six of one and half a dozen of the other - I need to calm down and chill out a bit and he needs to not take everything so personally - but I'm now awake and questioning everything. I am hoping this is only a slight incompatibility that we can overcome as everything else in the relationship is good, but I am a big worrier and hate conflict and now I'm worried it could be the end of the relationship.

I am due to see him on Saturday night but this whole exchange has left me feeling very uncomfortable (as I said, I hate conflict) and I am considering suggesting to him that I pop over this evening (Friday) just for 30 mins for a quick chat and to clear the air.

What do you think?

@Colin56 indeed, something I've since learned

This is familiar my partner can be like you provides evidence as to why his view if right etc and I'm more your partner, and honestly it can be tiring I don't always want a debate or to be proved wrong. We've had to work hard to get to the point where we don't disagree about things.

I'm sensitive and honestly it really can feel like your causing an argument and just bashing us down. I know now to let me DP rant and get out his feelings and thoughts and just not pay much attention to it. But it took a while

I would say that popping over would translate to.comtonuung the debate, I'd leave it tonight, start afresh tomorrow and don't mention it again, it's done

Oops! continuing the debate

Thanks everyone for your replies, especially those of you who have a similar dynamic with your DPs and have e

Oops, pressed 'send' too early! The post should have said:

Thanks everyone for your replies, especially those of you who have a similar dynamic with your DPs and have explained how you manage this. My anxiety has reduced today (why is everything worse at night?!!) so I didn't go over to see him. He phoned as normal this evening and we didn't mention the disagreement so it looks like we have moved on from it. I am aware that I have work to do on not being so forceful in my opinions and he is aware that I am not necessarily angry when I am disagreeing with him. However, we did agree to not discuss such topics going forward and I think that is the best course of action.

Thanks again.