I'm not feeling sorry for myself but how has my life got to this. I do everything, everything, but it's never good enough.
Today I went back to work after some time off sick, it felt good to be back. Been up since 6am got LO ready and sent to breakfast club, got into work for 8. I finished at 1, got home got the bathroom and it absolutely stank and there was water around the bottom opened the lid and it was full of OHs shit that he didnt flush (he does this all the time), had to clean it as I needed to go. Next batch cooked lunch and dinner for 2 days, cleaned and vacuumed the whole place, cleared the leaves front the front garden,plus loads more chores then showered up and went and got LO from nursery. Got back changed and fed him, OH got up, ate what I made didn bother asking me about my first day back, he was just then glued to his phone on tiktok even when LO was there right in front of him he didnt bother with him. He then got ready after a bit to go work and as he was leaving came towards me his nose leaked blood all over my hair and clothes, he lied and said no but he did so I had to shower again.
OH came back from night shit at 7.30am and briefly saw him as me and LO were leaving this morning. He usually showers, eats, then sleeps till he has to go work again, Usually 11pm. This is what he does all the time . He went to his second job at 5pm and finished at 10pm. Came back ate took a shit , I briefly asked him about getting the toilet fixed as I noticed it leaking since yesterday. He replied 'what do you want me to do about it?' It just pissed me off so bad, I do everything when I ask for help with the smallest of things its made to be like I asked for the fucking world. So then I dont bother asking him. Everything falls to me, and I feel like I'm breaking down. I didnt actually sit down for a proper rest till 9pm today.Even during my sickness I was doing everything, there was no rest for me. I'm just drained and need some help but have no one to ask.
OH will use work as a reason to get away with doing stuff. When I ask a simple question it's always I'm tired or I've just come back from work or just what are you starting something. I can never ask him for anything, cz it's made it to such a big deal.