NC for this.
DH and I have been together for 5 years, and have a baby. He has a friend, C, who used to be a colleague for several years, until she left. This was before we met.
They were very close when working together, to the point where I would say it was an emotional affair. She was with someone, then engaged and married to him, DH was single the whole time. They did kiss a couple of times but that’s as far as it went, but I suspect if she ended her relationship to be with DH, he would have gone for it. However, this was all 5 plus years ago. They are still friends today, speaking on the phone every few months, and meeting for lunch or drinks every now and then. Hand on heart, I can honestly say their friendship has never concerned me. So whenever he mentioned he was meeting her, I would always “say hi to C for me” and if he spoke to her on the phone, I’d always ask how she is. I’ve met her a couple of times, when they’re out for drinks after work and DH invites me along.
Last week, when DH was in the office, a message popped up on his iPad from her that said “so good to see you, didn’t realise how much I’ve missed you x”. It was just chance that at that moment, his iPad was on the dining table when I was grabbing something from the table and she messaged at that moment. Found it odd but figured DH would mention he met her when he came home. No mention at all. In fact, that particular day he was in a mad rush to get into the office at lunch time, as he was wfh in the morning, and I just assumed he has a meeting.
On the weekend she sent some toys for DS. I still haven’t mentioned her to DH, but this morning I said I’m surprised C posted them rather than want to meet him, as when she had each of her three children, DH went to visit each time. He said “she would have given them in person but we haven’t met yet” and then he quickly and quietly added “over the summer”.
So that to me confirmed he deliberately hid the fact that he met her, rather than an oversight that he forgot to mention. And by adding in “over the summer”, strictly speaking, he didn’t actually lie.
On one hand, I think I’m being sensitive as DH would never do something like that, but on the other hand, I would also think he would never lie to me, so I feel like there’s a reason he hid it. I don’t want to ask DH about it just yet as I want to keep observing the situation.
What would you think about the situation?