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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I’m trapped with a man I don’t love

87 replies

MaggienLola2 · 10/11/2021 13:38

..

OP posts:
CocoCaz · 20/11/2021 20:33

Sorry I hope this isn't seen as hijacking your post - I'm new to this!

Just wanted to say I relate to your situation but have ended up sharing a lot more of my own situation!

MaggienLola2 · 20/11/2021 22:27

Coco that’s a bad situation your mind in and I know the misery of it ….it’s soul destroying!!

This time last week I was still tying myself in knots wanting to leave but not having the courage to do so and very scared (still am ) about my future BUT….when I think to this time last week that’s even scarier I absolutely couldn’t go back there.

I know what you mean about your son only knowing that home but home is always going to be where you are and that could be anywhere, I learnt this with my son when my marriage ended after 18 years in 2016 , I worried about moving him in the middle of his GCSEs and my pets too but it all worked out in the end.. I loved being single once I got over the heartache but went and spoilt it all with my last situation.

You can do it if you really want to you’ll be surprised how strong you become when your mind is clear from their crap.
Good luck you will be fine xx

OP posts:
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 20/11/2021 22:53

Quite honestly stop feeling guilty and just do it. He is a pig and it's not your problem if he loses his home, he shouldn't be so disgusting. Hopefully this will teach him a valuable lesson.

zafferana · 21/11/2021 08:30

@MaggienLola2

The only worry that’s playing on my mind is I’ve had to leave my cat behind until I get sorted out I don’t trust him with animals as I’ve seen him smack his cat before and threatened to leave if he did it again I just pray my cat will stay out the way until I get her !!!
OP, please get your cat out of there, if you can. The Cats Protection League might be able to arrange a short-term foster placement for her, just to tide you over until you're sorted. How long until you can take her? Can you afford to rent a place quickly?
MaggienLola2 · 24/11/2021 17:59

Hi
It’s a week tomorrow since I left him
He’s accepted it almost as soon as I told him and not even attempted to try and talk about it !
This suits me and is making so much easier to move forward.
I had the house valued yesterday and instructed them to sell ASAP , I messaged him and told him all the details and I got a “ok👍🏼“ txt back
If I had known it was going to be this easy I would of left a lot earlier, but didn’t because I thought I would be causing a world of hurt to another person. I’m relieved on so many levels to be free and away from that situation.
Long road ahead to get back on my feet but already I fee In control of my own life again.

OP posts:
category12 · 24/11/2021 18:43

Oh that's good news. Well done for leaving and onwards & upwards for you Smile.

billy1966 · 24/11/2021 19:01

OP, so pleased to read this.

Great news.

May it continue to go smoothly.

Keep posting Flowers

MaggienLola2 · 18/12/2021 06:28

Hi it’s now been 4 weeks since I left and the relief has been overwhelming.

I’m sat having a cuppa and thinking about the future as today I move into a lovely rented house with my little cat and my dog, it’s going to be wonderful to feel like me again with my own space.

I have sold the house !! That went on the first week it went to the market so now just going through the legal process and even better it’s a no chain sale.

I have bought myself my own car and handed his car back , the feeling of independence and freedom is amazing.

I have noticed that everything in the house has been paid for by me ! I have been a total fool and have allowed myself to be totally walked all over, it’s been a real eye opener and not something I will ever again repeat.
I went into this relationship with an open heart and thought he did too the first 2.5 years were good until we got the house and it all became about him and I was totally taken for granted and my feelings were disregarded.

He has excepted this without any resistance and gone along with everything so that tells me he was using me and now I’m no longer useful he couldn’t give a dam.

If I had known leaving him would of been this easy I would of left a long time ago.

So if your in my situation just jump and give yourself your life back it’s bumpy at times but so much better than putting up with an unhappy life to suit someone else’s needs.

Here’s to my new start 🥂onwards and upwards xx

OP posts:
WinoLino · 18/12/2021 06:42

Sounds lovely! Well done! Have a great Christmas being able to please yourself Smile

mommybear1 · 18/12/2021 06:46

Well done OP I hope the sale goes through very quickly for you and you get all your belongings back asap! Gin

CurryandSnuggle · 18/12/2021 07:27

Well done OP, I am so happy for you. Cheers to your new, happier life 🍾

SortingItOut · 18/12/2021 18:58

Great post, I wish Mumsnet had a like button.

How exciting to be in your own home - hope the move went well.

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