Do your partner/ oh hide upstairs when family visit?

[Lollypopla]

Mine went up because my family were coming
They stayed 2.5 hours
Oh came down when they left huffing & puffing saying that was a long cup of tea i dont like sitting in the bedroom for that long

I said u could have came down he said i dont want to be around them
I said why wat have they done to you
He said shut up I don’t wana talk about it

How rude and childish.

No my husband doesn't do that. My cousins husband used to do that when we came to visit, he would go to "have a shower" or similar and be gone for 3 hours. They're divorced now

No. But I disappear quite lot when the inlaws visit. They came for 5 days last time, and if I'm about attempt to speak English. Its much better if I disappear and let them chat in their first language. The kids get exposed to better language that way to. Win win.

So I might dissapear for an hour in the morning, an hour in the afternoon and go to bed a bit earlier than usual.

No, but then my husband isn't a rude arse!

Not hanging around I could deal with, the huffing and puffing is ridiculous as it's a choice

Childish behaviour and also incredibly rude. Not the way a proper grown-up should behave. How old is he?

37 @FleetwoodRaincoat

XH did. Childish, rude, and felt outclassed (as he told the marriage counsellor).

Sometimes he disappears off after the first 30mins. I find it very rude and annoying

There are times I wish I could do this , but I don't because I'm not a selfish rude arsehole.
I'm sure he wouldn't like it if roles were reversed.

My dad’s like this

No but he doesn't particularly like them. He makes tea and smiles but then potters about In the garden or his car.

No, because he is a grown up.

He wouldn't speak to me like that either.

On occasion, if someone comes round when one of us is working / has a deadline, they might have to excuse themselves to get on with that, but not "unwillingly" sitting in another room to avoid them.

My late DH was a pretty quiet introvert. But he never did that. He grew up in a really warm and loving family, and it wouldn't have occurred to him to be anything other than welcoming and conversational with mine.

Wow his response was a bit weird. He really doesn't like them! I disappear for 5 or 10 minutes when the inlaws are here as I'm an introvert and get exhausted quickly with the constant conversation. But I'm always as discreet as I can be about it. Eg. Sort some washing out or something.

He doesn’t like anybody
Does the same when my friend comes…

No. DP is the only one of the whole lot of us interested in talking to my dad tbh.

@Lollypopla

He doesn’t like anybody Does the same when my friend comes…

Why you with this horrible , grumpy man ?

Being entirely honest, I sometimes escape upstairs when visitors come, both my DP's family and my own! I find it a bit intense. Much prefer meeting people on neutral territory tbh. Not for the whole visit, of course, but I might pop to look for a partcular thing and take a breather.

My ex's live-in partner does, apparantly - or makes sure he's out when they come round. Originally thought it was because he was the OM in my ex-wife's affair (the one that forced me to file for divorce). But they've been living together in domestic bliss since lockdown started (to extent my kids have been told his kids are their step-siblings - they get on great with him though) so would have thought things would have moved on by now.

That said, she still won't admit she's even in a relationship with him on social media. It's really strange.

I'd be embarrassed to be with someone who scurried off at the sight of my family. I just wouldn't put up with that sulky teen shit.

I appreciate though when partners make themselves scarce (after initial hellos) if a friend visits. I have one friend whose husband will always sit in the room whenever I visit her and it does limit how open the conversation can be.

My sisters OH does this. Family now have to book in advance when they can visit, often excuses thrown in as to why she can't have them round.
She also stopped visiting family.

I believe he has isolated her. Which it sounds like yours is possibly trying to do with his huffing and puffing. Which eventually will result in you feeling anxious when family visit knowing he is upstairs getting frustrated, and you'll get it in the neck when they leave.

I once spent a whole weekend painting our bathroom because I didn’t want to have to sit with my (now ex) mil. I just couldn’t stand her, she spoke super loudly and was just so irritating I absolutely hated it her I know that makes me sound awful but oh well. One of the saving graces when now ex dh cheated on me and left me was that I never had to see his mother anymore.

My now dh isn’t in contact with any of his family and my only relative, my Mum, died in 2019 so never have to worry about in laws again…! If you’re quite an introverted person (like me) the whole in laws thing is horrendous.

My dp does this but to his own family and leaves me with them

Holy moley @Minniem2020 !!!!