Do your partner/ oh hide upstairs when family visit?

[Lollypopla]

Mine went up because my family were coming
They stayed 2.5 hours
Oh came down when they left huffing & puffing saying that was a long cup of tea i dont like sitting in the bedroom for that long

I said u could have came down he said i dont want to be around them
I said why wat have they done to you
He said shut up I don’t wana talk about it

Sorry pressed post accidentally

Meant to say I would flipping well March right upstairs and demand he come downstairs to entertain his family if my partner did that to me.

@Minniem2020

My dp does this but to his own family and leaves me with them

I have a friend whose dh does this when his own Mum comes round!

Why in the world do you put up with a man who tells you to shut up and is too big of a coward to at least greet visitors and excuse himself after a short while with them? He doesn't have to behave as if he wants to be their BFF?!

He clearly has social anxiety.

Some pretty nasty PP on here with their comments.

Just leave him be OP and enjoy your friends and family without your awkward DH in the corner making you all feel uncomfortable. Be grateful he takes himself away and doesn't make embarrassing comments.

He clearly has social anxiety

Nothing clear about it.

But OP if he does start isolating you from friends and family then it's time to leave

@FleetwoodRaincoat

Childish behaviour and also incredibly rude. Not the way a proper grown-up should behave. How old is he?

And how old is OP?

Why are you living like this?

He’s 37

You’ve chosen to be with someone who has an aversion to integrating with your friends & family.

This doesn’t sound normal or enjoyable. Having to pander to someone’s dreadful behaviour under the guise of “social anxiety”

Give me a break, he was in his own home, not going to some unknown / public event

It’s just rudeness.

This isn’t normal no. Do you understand why he doesn’t wish to be near your family?

Also is it not so awkward, do they know he’s hiding upstairs?

I disappear when my MIL turns up, thankfully it's not very often. I really don't like her and refuse to be in her company. Dh doesn't mind though because of the nasty things she has said to me over the years.

Yes it’s embarrassing for me and awkward for the visitors

@GoingForAWalk

He clearly has social anxiety.

Some pretty nasty PP on here with their comments.

Just leave him be OP and enjoy your friends and family without your awkward DH in the corner making you all feel uncomfortable. Be grateful he takes himself away and doesn't make embarrassing comments.

Are you a psychiatrist or GP and thus qualified to make that diagnosis? Because I am a consultant psychiatrist and I wouldn’t make that diagnosis based on the info given.

SIL has been known to do this- it's ace. I didn't want to see her anyway. She did come down to say goodbye when we were leaving. Maybe she was just having a nap

I’ve not done this but seriously considering it, I don’t know if I could stay in the bedroom that long in the day though, think I might go window shopping instead

How pathetic. I think an important quality in a partner is that they’ll be able to mix with family and friends. That doesn’t mean they have to be there all the time, but at least a hello and a chat.
Your partner going out would have been preferable to him hiding upstairs surely? Do you family know he’s up there?
I have a friend who had a boyfriend like this, I never met him but was aware on several occasions that he was upstairs hiding. I always thought it was odd and rude. They’re no longer together thank goodness, she’s found someone who comes and has a chat then leaves us to our catch up.

He told you to shut up. What else does he do?

I cannot imagine this situation. Lack of basic manners and treating you like rubbish. There are lots of better men out there

Don’t let his behaviour put you off having friends and family around. Don’t make excuses for him anymore either as that makes it feel awkward.
“Oh you know what he’s like!” Should cover it.
Does he have his family to visit? What happens then? Does he expect you to be polite to his family? If he does, then show him how unreasonable his behaviour is and ask what if you started doing the same?

No suggestion this is social anxiety from the op.

It reads as thought this is a rude and childish person who can't be bothered to be polite for a few hours. Not even for his partner's sake.

I have experienced this in the past (being in the Op's position) and remember being embarassed for the visiting family and severely irritated by my OH.

My DH was / is a breath of fresh air - invites my family around (and his) / is a great host. He isn't the most sociable person in general, but he knows that stuff is important.

Your OH sounds awful, and rude and childlish. And I can't believe his resposne to you!

ex husband did this but then my parents richly deserved this, they treated him like an idiot child.
I don't see any of them any more.

Social anxiety my arse! Nothing wrong with their social skills when they're out looking for a girlfriend and doing things they want to do.

@GoingForAWalk

He clearly has social anxiety.

Some pretty nasty PP on here with their comments.

Just leave him be OP and enjoy your friends and family without your awkward DH in the corner making you all feel uncomfortable. Be grateful he takes himself away and doesn't make embarrassing comments.

Anxiety is no excuse for being rude to OP and complaining about OP having visitors...

@GoingForAWalk

He clearly has social anxiety.

Some pretty nasty PP on here with their comments.

Just leave him be OP and enjoy your friends and family without your awkward DH in the corner making you all feel uncomfortable. Be grateful he takes himself away and doesn't make embarrassing comments.

It's not at all clear that he has social anxiety

And even if he does, anxiety is not an excuse for rudeness. As someone who suffers from (medically diagnosed} anxiety, I'm sick of seeing it rolled out on here (and other social media) as a poor excuse for being rude and unpleasant to others.