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Original poster

Could you date a bad kisser?

74 replies

sandy354 · 04/11/2021 07:04

Ok so I should probably caveat this - I don't believe there's is such a thing as a bad kisser as what one person doesn't like, someone else will.

But could you dare someone who you didn't consider to be a good (or compatible kisser)?

After years of OLD I've met a really lovely guy, we get on well, loads in common, he's treated me well (so far!) and I do find him physically attractive

BUT

When we kissed, I just wasn't feeling it and didn't enjoy it as much as I usually would. Without going into too much detail I'd say we had different techniques

If I'm honest it's out me off a bit but after years of dating without much success it seems a silly thing to end it over.

We've only had one full on snog so I'm wondering if anyone has experienced this? And if so, does it tend to get better over time? Do your kissing styles both adapt a bit to suit each other? Or is it doomed?
The fact that I didn't enjoy the kiss is making me wonder if sleeping together would be a disaster!

OP posts:
MacNTosh · 04/11/2021 07:08

No, don’t do it. I married one, was young and thought it could be overlooked, but really our sex life was never great from my POV. He’s exDH now, when I met my DH who I’ve been married to for over 20 years, it was absolute bliss to be kissed and still is.

Walkingalot · 04/11/2021 07:19

Kissing is such a natural action and most people have their own 'style'. Usually you either click or you just don't. You like him and it's early days so maybe give it a couple more attempts just to see if it's nerves making him 'awkward'. It would be a deal breaker for me though as I'd end up getting the ick. And yes I think how someone kisses is reflected in their sexual performance.

GoodnightGrandma · 04/11/2021 07:20

No. There’s probably something else deep down that’s putting you off too.

Original poster
sandy354 · 04/11/2021 07:27

Thanks! That's what I thought!!!

I think I already know that being with someone I didn't enjoy kissing would be a complete dealbreaker! But it's only been one proper kiss so wondering if I should give it time & see if it improves....

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 04/11/2021 07:28

Is he an inexperienced teenager, or should he know how to kiss by now ?
If he’s older I’d move on.

Original poster
sandy354 · 04/11/2021 07:31

@GoodnightGrandma

Is he an inexperienced teenager, or should he know how to kiss by now ? If he’s older I’d move on.
Early 40s, divorced with 2 older kids so definitely not inexperienced
OP posts:
Sunshineandrainbow · 04/11/2021 07:32

I would give it a bit more time. First kiss can be a bit nerve racking and if you fancy him don't write it off yet.
Long term no I couldn't stay with a bad kisser.

MonkeyPuddle · 04/11/2021 07:35

I’d maybe give him another snog and see if it was just a one off. Mine and DPs first kiss was a bit teethy, he was a bit enthusiastic shall we say. We laughed, had another try and it was much better.
But, I snogged a fella I dated a few times and he literally dribbled saliva into my mouth, like a proper little stream of saliva, it was absolutely vile and just killed it for me.

PlausibleSuit · 04/11/2021 07:37

A snog is a preview for a shag in my view. If the trailer’s rubbish you probably aren’t going to enjoy the movie.

TheFoundations · 04/11/2021 07:38

I think you need to do what you feel, rather than think think think this. Sex can't be a disaster with a bad kisser if you're following your body's lead, because sex won't happen with the bad kisser.

Trixiefirecracker · 04/11/2021 07:38

One kiss is not enough to tell, but if it carries on I would be put off too!

Original poster
sandy354 · 04/11/2021 07:39

@MonkeyPuddle

I’d maybe give him another snog and see if it was just a one off. Mine and DPs first kiss was a bit teethy, he was a bit enthusiastic shall we say. We laughed, had another try and it was much better. But, I snogged a fella I dated a few times and he literally dribbled saliva into my mouth, like a proper little stream of saliva, it was absolutely vile and just killed it for me.
@MonkeyPuddle sorry I shouldn't laugh but I just got such a horrible image there shout saliva man!!

The guy I've been dating wasn't anywhere near that bad. Maybe 'over enthusiastic' is right so it's nice to hear about you & your DP.

Our dates so far have been out for coffee, lunch between work etc. Saturday night we're going out for dinner & drinks so maybe that'll help loosen things up a bit!

OP posts:
Moonshine11 · 04/11/2021 07:39

I do think snogs start to adapt once your aware of each other's technique.
Do it again see how you feel.
It would put me off initially but try and take the lead with it.

TheFoundations · 04/11/2021 07:39

@GoodnightGrandma

Is he an inexperienced teenager, or should he know how to kiss by now ? If he’s older I’d move on.
'Knowing how to kiss' isn't a thing, otherwise there'd be courses and instruction manuals. This is about compatibility.
Original poster
sandy354 · 04/11/2021 07:40

@PlausibleSuit

A snog is a preview for a shag in my view. If the trailer’s rubbish you probably aren’t going to enjoy the movie.
😂😂 this was my worry!! I'll try another snog and see if it's any better.....
OP posts:
Kissmenot · 04/11/2021 07:41

I don't like kissing my DH , never have Blush His lips and mouth are much bigger than mine so I feel kind of swamped by a snog.
But, he's gorgeous, sexy, loving and lovable, sex is great, we just don't snog. He'd love to but has been trained to contain himself to smaller, affectionate kisses.
I actually miss it, I love a good snog normally, just not with him. But we have a great relationship and we adore each other.
It did put me off in the beginning but we've been together 15 years now.
I did kiss a few very kissable but ultimately unworthy frogs before I met him.

Original poster
sandy354 · 04/11/2021 07:44

@Kissmenot

I don't like kissing my DH , never have Blush His lips and mouth are much bigger than mine so I feel kind of swamped by a snog. But, he's gorgeous, sexy, loving and lovable, sex is great, we just don't snog. He'd love to but has been trained to contain himself to smaller, affectionate kisses. I actually miss it, I love a good snog normally, just not with him. But we have a great relationship and we adore each other. It did put me off in the beginning but we've been together 15 years now. I did kiss a few very kissable but ultimately unworthy frogs before I met him.
Ah you've got the perfect username then!! 😂

Kissing is always an important thing for me and I feel it should leave you wanting to do more...I definitely didn't want to go any further but agree with PPs that I shouldn't write him off for a one off

OP posts:
CookPassBabtridge · 04/11/2021 07:45

DP was a bad kisser at first (washing machine) but I taught him how to do it and it didn't take long at all, now he's amazing at it. If someone has good lips then they can become a good kisser.

Danceswithwhippets · 04/11/2021 07:47

A man's point of view here.

Please give him another -and more than one -chance!

Snogging is both a chemistry test and (maybe) a prelude to sex.

Snogging and sex get better with practice. If you write him off too early you could be turning away the best sex of your life and he could be The One!

I have had long relationships with two women (separate relationships!) where the kissing was not very good but was not a measure of the quality of the sex, which proved to be excellent.

TheFoundations · 04/11/2021 07:47

You can talk to him about it; that might be an even better guage of the potential relationship than the kissing. If you tell him to slow down or be more gentle, he'll either respect that, which is a good sign for the relationship and the kissing, or he'll dismiss it, and can sod off altogether.

UndeadSlut · 04/11/2021 07:50

Nope, not worth it. I have in the past been slutty/not overly fussy about who I've slept with, but I've turned men down due to bad kissing. The last one, a little while before I met my amazing DP, was in his 40s and kissed like a teenager, diving in with swooshy tongue. Grim.

Original poster
sandy354 · 04/11/2021 07:51

@foundations 'Knowing how to kiss' isn't a thing, otherwise there'd be courses and instruction manuals. This is about compatibility.
I completely agree. Someone else will
Think he's an amazing kisser!

If you asked him now, he's probably didn't particularly enjoy our kiss either and would say i had an incompatible technique

OP posts:
Kissmenot · 04/11/2021 07:55

@sandy354 I name changed specifically for this post 🤣
I honestly don't blame you for not taking it forward.
My circumstances are maybe different from yours. I'm probably older than you, have several sexually satisfying but not loving. relationships and one emotionally abusive marriage behind me, so the warmth and love and general decency of current DH totally make up for a bit of less than compatible snogging.
I sound like a bit of a bore but I promise I'm not. Just that my priorities have shifted a little Flowers

StormBaby · 04/11/2021 07:57

Don’t settle! I did for two years and it was a symptom of a relationship lacking in connection, passion and deep emotions. I should’ve run on that first date,
I’m now married to someone who makes my knees tremble from just a simple snog

GoodnightGrandma · 04/11/2021 08:04

TheFoundations - if you’ve read my earlier post you’ll see that I’ve already touched on that.

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