Would you date a guy who is unvaccinated but going out clubbing?

[Appalonia]

I met a guy recently who is not having the vaccine because he has prostate cancer. He's not anti vax but has been told by holistic therapists that it's best for his condition if he doesn't. He's going off to a big club in London on Friday night and wants to see me on Sunday. I was initially ok with this but on reflection I'm not sure it's a good idea. I have luckily managed to avoid Covid so far and just don't know whether seeing this guy is bringing an unnecessary risk into my life? I've only met him once, he's perfectly nice, but I just don't know what to do. Any objective advice would be very much appreciated!

He's not anti vax but has been told by holistic therapists that it's best for his condition if he doesn't
It would bother me far more that he’s listening to snake oil salesmen over an actual oncologist.

I wouldn’t continue to see someone who felt a holistic therapist knew best about the Covid vaccine & his long term health.

prostatecanceruk.org/prostate-information/coronavirus-covid-19-and-prostate-cancer/covid-19-vaccines/

You're probably in close contact with unvaccinated people more often than you realise! I'd say it's not an unnecessary risk, if you want to see him, see him.

I wouldn't see him either. He's choosing to go clubbing and thereby putting his own well-being at risk. That's reckless in my opinion

@FeatheredHope

He's not anti vax but has been told by holistic therapists that it's best for his condition if he doesn't It would bother me far more that he’s listening to snake oil salesmen over an actual oncologist.

This

Only qualified doctors can properly advise a cancer patient if the Covid vaccine is safe for them or not. If you are vaccinated yourself, the risk from him being unvaxxed is mostly to himself, but I personally wouldn't date someone who follows advice from "holistic therapists" on important medical issues. He sounds dumb as a doorknob tbh.

I wouldn't date a man who goes clubbing and has holistic therapists.

Thanks for your robust advice! I wasn't so much bothered about the holistic therapy thing, more whether I was justified in not wanting to put myself at risk tbh. BUT as always, MN has given me a better perspective to consider.

He’s taking advice from a holistic therapist rather than a doctor?? I assume that he is getting cancer treatment from trained medical professionals
This guy is an anti - vaxxer. This is exactly the kind of ridiculous excuse they use for not getting vaccinated
Big nope

Regarding your own risk - If you're double vaccinated then you're safer than an unvaccinated person from the more serious effects of Covid until 6 months after your last vaccine- however those double vaccinated people with other health problems that increase risks of complications from Covid are still being hospitalised & even dying of Covid.

Regarding his own risk he should definitely get the vaccine as he's seriously unwell from cancer with a weakened body.
Covid will kill him quicker than any vaccine!
I would be concerned about his lack of judgement.

But this is about more than Covid risks.
I would basically think carefully before getting involved with this man you have only met once as he may well have certain issues specific to the Prostate Cancer.

Hopefully this man is having proper treatment from medics for the Prostate Cancer and not just trusting the 'holistic therapists' aka charlatans taking his money sorry or he won't survive long. I understand he may feel desperate but he needs to be careful to not trust the wrong people.

The treatments are a variety of surgery, hormone therapy, radiotherapy & chemo, sometimes in combination.
My Dad is a Prostate Cancer survivor.
His cancer was contained within the Prostate luckily so the only treatment he needed was a radical Prostatectomy (removal of the Prostate).
Many men can become incontinent following the operation also erectile dysfunction is a problem (they can offer Viagra but it doesn't always work).
Luckily my Dad isn't incontinent & at 74 he decided a sex life wasn't a priority.
The other treatments especially Hormone Therapy can also hugely impact a man's sex life & confidence (my Grandad & a friend's father both had Hormone Therapy with Radiotherapy).

In my Grandads & friend's father's cases they both had long term partners. Both their relationships survived as they had been together for years and been through a lot.
It's so difficult to go through a serious illness like Prostate Cancer with someone you have only just met.
If you do start seeing him you may grow to like him a lot more than you thought you would... so think about everything before that second date!

has been told by holistic therapists

Stopped reading. Hard no.

Next!

I am into Holistic health, but I also believe science.

Would rather be vaccinated than ventilated!

Anyway, it's about being aware of your fellow human beings.

SommerTen Thank you so much for your detailed and sensitive post. Yes I will think about this, very much so. X

My friend has prostrate cancer and was reluctant to take the vaccine. 3 doctors sat him down giving it to him straight that if he got Covid he could be in serious trouble. Took vaccine got Covid and luckily had very mild symptoms. Less than me with no underlying illness.
So that part sounds like bad advice.
You are definitely putting yourself in danger of Covid being with an unvaccinated guy who mixes a lot but we can't live in isolation forever.

I’d run a mile to be honest

DF has PC alongside a ton of other problems, mid 70s, just has his third/booster covid jab and flu jab on the same day. Apart from the aforementioned health issues, he's doing fine. He's following medical advice about all this.

Your bf can go clubbing if he wants, but he's at increased risk of hospitalisation, and increases the risk of passing it to you. He should be listening to his oncologist, not some holistic therapist who knows bugger all about virology.

@Appalonia

No because he is demonstrating he is stupid

No

Because he is taking advice from someone who is not an oncologist.

Do you not need a vaccine passport to go clubbing, or is that only in Scotland right now?

Why go out with a fool?

He sounds like a silly man!

I wouldn't go out with him, mainly because he sounds thick as mince.

Holistic therapist for cancer? Jeez....

I’d date someone who had been told by an actual medical professional that they couldn’t have the vaccine, regardless of whether they still went to crowded places.

I wouldn’t date someone who listened to holistic therapists over their oncologist.

You can still catch and transmit Covid19 even if you’re double jabbed. The non-vaccinated are more at risk than the vaccinated. You are only protecting yourself, not others.