Prudish?

[Sonaftersonafterson]

Hi lovely ladies, if anyone is eating probably best to skip this post for now

I've been seeing a guy on and off.... really really like him although I dont know why as he is pretty flaky.

Anyway, we were arranging to meet up again, book a hotel etc and the chat turned to sex which I dont mind at all and often instigate but all his chat was about his ass. What he wanted me to do, wear (strap on) sorry if tmi. His words were he wanted me to "own his ass" and it just .. I dont know. He talks a lot about anal and although I dont mind it, he seems quite focused on it. We've met a few times, had sex a few times and hes not mentioned it in person yet but these texts... would they worry you?

This is a personal preference thing for you and for him, I don't think you need to hold it up to society to see if it's right or wrong, as that's where all this shame we feel about sex comes from.

I think he's seeking a yay or nay from you, hence going on about it. Talk to him and if he is persistent where you've expressed you're not into it, then that's the actual issue. Not the act itself.

that's where all this shame we feel about sex comes from.

Op's fella doesn't appear to be especially afflicted by feelings of sexual shame (more's the pity). I think it's time for sexual shame to make a comeback actually. Sex positivity was supposed to enable women to enjoy sex more fully, but instead perverted men have used it as a license to pester women for unpleasant and degrading sexual acts which do nothing for us!

Pegging. For fuck's sake. And I bet this man couldn't find op's clit if she drew a map for him.

But I feel you're speaking for all of us when some would be happy to participate in pegging?

The tone of some comments is actually what I was referring to, and to imply that he's gay for wanting this as part of his sex life.

Like I say, if it's the way he's going about it is the problem then yes, he needs to be told under no uncertain terms.

@Yousexybugger

I suppose it feels like boundary pushing behaviour, the flaking and early introduction of something quite niche.

This is what I would think of it too

@Sonaftersonafterson

Oh ladies 😁😁 I very rarely actually laugh out loud with things I read on here but the general reaction to him asking me to "own his ass" has had me fuckinh cracking up. I'm so glad it's not just me that thought whaaaat!?!? To be fair to the guy, it's a purely sexual relationship and we have discussed this and I was open to it but deep down (excuse the pun) I do think he has some kind of gay fetish. That's cool, but I'm not a man! I just dont know. Kinda getting the feeling I'm a convenient, willing hole rather than anything else. I guess I should have picked this up early, he would tell me he fingered his own ass when masturbating and that it was "intense"... so I'm guessing gay porn ... who knows.

Gay fetish??? Or he's just gay or bisexual OP. Could be that too!

Totally agree with @Rocaille. Honestly, people really need to fuck off with this sex positivity bullshit, which seems to be used to convince women to accept all manner of degrading or dangerous sexual practices, framing them as 'empowering' and shutting women down if they object by calling them 'vanilla' or 'closed-minded'. FUCK. RIGHT. OFF.

Send him on his way to FetLife.

*Because people have lived with ‘kink’ as abuse; ‘kink’ as a cover for porn addiction and general ‘kink’ making their life and relationship a bit shit.

Plenty of kink is shameful, tbh.*

Which is... completely irrelevant to this scenario.

@smoko

Ok I love receiving anal & worked in an adult store

To each their own, but this would personally have me running for the hills.

“Own his ass”?!

No…just, no.

@smoko 'Adult store' 😂

You mean sex shop or porn shop yes?

Hmm. I dont actually mind doing it..

That’s not what sex is about though, especially with a FWB. How concerned is he with finding out what YOU would like, and making that happen for you? If he’s not, then he basically views you as a free prostitute, here to provide a service to him.

That would be a massive nope from me. You say you “don’t mind” the idea but given how passionate he is about the subject I think you’re going to need a lot more than Luke warm feelings to keep him happy. It also just sounds so selfish to keep banging on about how he wants you to perform a sexual act with his sole pleasure in mind. The telling you about playing with his bum is just 🤢 what does he want you to say?! Ooh er how erotic the idea of you wanking furiously with your fingers up your arse? The whole thing is just eww for me! I couldn’t be attracted to a man who wanted to be pegged.

Sex positivity was supposed to enable women to enjoy sex more fully, but instead perverted men have used it as a license to pester women for unpleasant and degrading sexual acts which do nothing for us!

I wouldn't be interested in him IP

@Rocaille

that's where all this shame we feel about sex comes from.

Op's fella doesn't appear to be especially afflicted by feelings of sexual shame (more's the pity). I think it's time for sexual shame to make a comeback actually. Sex positivity was supposed to enable women to enjoy sex more fully, but instead perverted men have used it as a license to pester women for unpleasant and degrading sexual acts which do nothing for us!

Pegging. For fuck's sake. And I bet this man couldn't find op's clit if she drew a map for him.

👏👏👏👏

For what it’s worth I really enjoy doing this. There is something about having him on all fours in front of me, which I didn’t understand until I tried it. There’s definitely a power turn on, regardless of what anyone says. The audio can be good too 😄. It is tiring though as someone mentioned. I’ve not noticed any link to being gay, but suppose I might be unaware. So worth a go if you’re not vehemently against it.

But “own my ass”…oh dear. Dump for crimes against the English language.

^There is a huge psychological difference between a modern prostate toy marketed for all males & a fucking strap on.

One is about enjoying prostate pleasure, the other is to simulate being fucked by a man.^

@smoko No it's a man being fucked by a woman. It's not 100% uncommon for straight couples to try pegging now, that's why there are pegging sets on mainstream stores like lovehoney, for het couples.

Which isn't to say that OP should do it.

But in and off itself it isn't a sign he's gay/bi.

The 'own my ass' thing does sound like he's a bit of a submissive like @PermanentTemporary suggested.

I had one who at one point said over the phone that he'd like me to peg him while I was in high heels (balance might be hard lol.) That definitely was a brief fantasy of being dominated, which he didn't usually seem into.

I would have generally put myself at the ‘more prudish’end of the spectrum but I really don’t see any problem with this st all. My partner does like prostate stimulation -he had never experienced it till I accidentally did it one day- and I love that he likes it -he enjoys it so it is a real turn on for me to see him enjoying it and am now tempted to suggest this strap on stuff that I had never heard of till now 😁

@EarthSight nailed it
Totally agree with @Rocaille. Honestly, people really need to fuck off with this sex positivity bullshit, which seems to be used to convince women to accept all manner of degrading or dangerous sexual practices, framing them as 'empowering' and shutting women down if they object by calling them 'vanilla' or 'closed-minded'. FUCK. RIGHT. OFF.

@me4real the way I see it, having a woman wear a phallus prop to fuck you with is to emulate the act of having sex with a man.

Also yes, an adult shop is also called a sex / porn shop

He sounds a bit grim to me, any guy who is fixated on certain things sexually, is not going to be a perfect partner/lover whatever. I think you can buy certain types of mechanical gadgetry, for the pupose of his ass fixation, so he won't need a partner to do his stuff.

@SleepingBunnies21

I have no idea if hes gay, bi or hetero; all I know is that the act of penetrating on a man, and the "owning"/dominating bdsm thing, would make my fanjo snap shut faster than a bear trap.

I couldn't couldn't him as attractive in general.

Oh lol. Such funny comments on this thread.

'fanjo'