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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He’s just not that into me is he?

100 replies

CharlotteRose90 · 01/11/2021 23:52

Feel stupid posting this but before i delete his number I wanted to check I’m feeling it right.

Met a guy on Facebook through a mutual group we have In common. Started talking about 6 weeks ago. Then thanks to work commitments and him getting covid then me getting it we couldn’t meet till last week. During that time we’ve been messaging all the time, sending selfie’s, talking on the phone etc.

We went out for a bite to eat on the 26th October , had a cuddle and kiss before I drove home and I thought things were ok. The next day it all changed gone were the flirty ish messages and the xs on texts. No more selfie’s. We have spoken every day since but I feel the efforts not there. I get the feeling he wasn’t attracted to me and if that’s the case I wish he’d say it . I started to like him which at 31 makes me feel stupid. He’s 30 btw if that helps. I’m thinking it’s a delete the number situation.

OP posts:
RazzleDazz1e · 03/11/2021 07:07

Isn’t the point here that OP doesn’t want him to respond now? In other words to try and avoid any rinse repeat cycles?!

I think the message itself is fine, but I would let that be the end of it now and block to avoid any further unwanted communication.

WafflesOrIceCream · 03/11/2021 07:11

Good on you girl!Stay strong!

Savoretti · 03/11/2021 11:24

Did he reply at all OP?

Original poster
CharlotteRose90 · 03/11/2021 13:09

@Savoretti

Did he reply at all OP?
No not a peep. But I can’t tell if he read it as he doesn’t have read receipts on on WhatsApp.
OP posts:
Savoretti · 03/11/2021 15:08

I’m sure he will have done - and no reply says it all doesn’t it.
Well done for trusting your gut feeling and challenging him.

todaysdilemma · 03/11/2021 16:05

I think no reply is a reply. He's had more than enough time to read and respond. I would be massively turned off that he couldn't even be bothered to agree and wish you luck. Your gut was right, and you've saved yourself a lot of misery further down the line.

Original poster
CharlotteRose90 · 03/11/2021 16:44

@todaysdilemma

I think no reply is a reply. He's had more than enough time to read and respond. I would be massively turned off that he couldn't even be bothered to agree and wish you luck. Your gut was right, and you've saved yourself a lot of misery further down the line.
Yeah I think that’s what’s annoyed me. Would rather he tell me the truth but I appreciate that some don’t say it etc. Just annoying as He added me on social media platforms and when I’ve just looked he hasn’t removed me. Makes no sense at all but I’ll do it later.
OP posts:
beastlyslumber · 03/11/2021 17:31

Why do you want a reply? You just told him you don't want to be in touch with him. Don't try playing a player. You'll never win.

Original poster
CharlotteRose90 · 03/11/2021 17:58

So I got a reply haah. An actual pathetic one as well. His reply was that he felt I came on too strong by asking him out again as its A mans job to do it. Also he didn’t like the fact I offered to pay half for the food etc. With that response he can get screwed as far as I’m concerned.

OP posts:
Savoretti · 03/11/2021 18:18

Lucky escape - probably expects the little woman to cook and clean too

Whataday21 · 03/11/2021 18:31

Omg!!!!!! What a dick.

needtogetfit21 · 03/11/2021 18:31

What century does he live in?!

Redyellowblue34 · 03/11/2021 18:32

What an awful person. Good call on you to get out of that.

loadsofcake · 03/11/2021 19:23

I've been in a similar situation although I didn't do any asking out. If a guy is interested you will know about it.

I think it is good manners to offer to pay your way on a date. What a flaky excuse he came up with.

TowandaForever · 03/11/2021 19:49

@CharlotteRose90

So I got a reply haah. An actual pathetic one as well. His reply was that he felt I came on too strong by asking him out again as its A mans job to do it. Also he didn’t like the fact I offered to pay half for the food etc. With that response he can get screwed as far as I’m concerned.
Lucky escape for you !!!!!
HairyFanjoBanjo · 03/11/2021 20:00

The 1950’s called, they need him back..

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/11/2021 20:02

@CharlotteRose90

So I got a reply haah. An actual pathetic one as well. His reply was that he felt I came on too strong by asking him out again as its A mans job to do it. Also he didn’t like the fact I offered to pay half for the food etc. With that response he can get screwed as far as I’m concerned.
Wow what a total prick!!! Dodged a bullet there
RogueV · 03/11/2021 20:16

Haha what a prick

Well done OP

Gilda152 · 03/11/2021 23:10

At least he replied. Onwards and upwards.

billy1966 · 04/11/2021 00:28

What a gobshite.

Couldn't wish you luck.

Had to try and find some way to negg you.

Gobshite.

Good call OP.

Best of luck.Flowers

Animood · 04/11/2021 09:24

@CharlotteRose90

So I got a reply haah. An actual pathetic one as well. His reply was that he felt I came on too strong by asking him out again as its A mans job to do it. Also he didn’t like the fact I offered to pay half for the food etc. With that response he can get screwed as far as I’m concerned.
"A mans job".

LOL! Get back to the 1950s mate.

Lucky escape if he holds these sexist views!

AryaStarkWolf · 04/11/2021 10:35

@CharlotteRose90

So I got a reply haah. An actual pathetic one as well. His reply was that he felt I came on too strong by asking him out again as its A mans job to do it. Also he didn’t like the fact I offered to pay half for the food etc. With that response he can get screwed as far as I’m concerned.
Ew lucky escape then
Gilda152 · 04/11/2021 11:02

@Animood having watched Tiktok over my daughters shoulder - there's a growing number of young women who are pushing the idea that men should pay for everything and lead all dating situations in order to treat them like high quality goddesses. I'm not joking. Maybe we are going back to a time when men think this is what women want - and some women are complicit in that. Lots of women love being assertive and paying their own way. me included. Many more want to be treated like a poor little kitten the big strong man has scooped up and rescued. They put this message out that the only way a man is good enough is if she is paid for entirely plus gifts etc etc. Menfolk are getting very mixed messages. Maybe his preference is to have a poor little kitten type. That's up to him and nobody else's business really and there are 1000's of women who will gladly let him sort all the admin and payments for everything - those kind of women give me the ick. OP, you've not lost a single thing here.

StormTreader · 04/11/2021 11:27

Thats just a message to try and salve his wounded pride "you're not dumping ME, I'm dumping YOU".

Bbub · 04/11/2021 14:57

Yeah who knows if he meant that or not but he is using it to turn it round now... He sounds like a dick.

But the last guy I went out with told me one of his dating red flags is if the woman doesn't even offer on the date... So everyone has their own rules 💁‍♀️

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