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Original poster

How often do you and your partner kiss?

71 replies

MrsTxx · 29/10/2021 22:55

Background: young couple with a nursery age child (3). We just are not affectionate at all? I just don’t understand why. What is your normal in your relationship?
We are really happy together but affection doesn’t happen often (days without touch/kissing). Right now I can’t actually remember the last time he kissed me

OP posts:
litterbird · 29/10/2021 23:00

My partner and I kiss frequently, he will just be starting the car and lean over to kiss me, he will randomly come into the lounge and kiss me when I am on the sofa and obviously before and through have sex. However, we don’t live together.

Kitkatandcoffee · 29/10/2021 23:03

Have a long kiss (snog) every evening before bed. Kiss before we go out in the morning. Random kisses and cuddles just because we feel like it.
Been together over 16 years. We are in our 60s.

AmandaHugenkiss · 29/10/2021 23:08

Several times a day; when he leaves for work, when I get home, when we go to bed, during sex. Sometimes randomly during the day. He’s quite affectionate though.

AmandaHugenkiss · 29/10/2021 23:09

No kids though, and I know many friends that go through less physically affectionate times with small kids. I think tiredness can just make it hard.

SophieHatterPendragon · 29/10/2021 23:10

Pretty much everyday. Sometimes just quick pecks or a few more kisses or sometimes some big passionate ones when we get as spare minute

We have 2 toddlers (2 & 3.5) and an older DS. Tbh I didn’t have this same spark with my ex (DS1 dad) we were never affectionate really after DS was born

Anothernick · 29/10/2021 23:11

Several times a day. Kiss good morning, when we part to go to work etc, when we get home and good night. Usually just a peck but occasionally a snog. Almost always snog during sex. Together 30 years, early 60s.

ExplodingCarrots · 29/10/2021 23:11

Several times a day. Always been that way. Both very affectionate towards each other . Together nearly 15 years with one DC.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/10/2021 23:11

Well we always have at least a peck at bedtime. Inf the kids aren't chaos when he goes out to work or a morning. That would be minimum. But there's also incidental touching, sitting on tbe sofa with my feet in him, hug after a bad day, a snog when the kids are in a different room. If there was no awake time affection, there would be no sex

Buggritbuggrit · 29/10/2021 23:13

Kiss hello in the morning. When we get in from work. To say good night. Random ‘love you’ kisses during the day, if we’re together. And, obvs, prior to and during sexy time, which is two or three times a week. So, a bunch. But, we don’t have a three year old to tend to and chase after, so it’s a very different situation!

I apologise if I’m being indelicate, but are you guys having sex? If so, no kissing even then?

soapboxqueen · 29/10/2021 23:14

All the time. In the morning, before bed, when leaving the vacinity, randomly, just because. Ranging from little kisses to proper ones.

Two children (9 + 12), together 25 years this year. Always been the same.

Original poster
MrsTxx · 29/10/2021 23:19

I feel like rubbish. I did think I was an affectionate person, think my partner is the colder one. I’d love a quick peck out of the blue. We do have sex around once a week? But not much kissing involved. I’d just like a snuggle on the sofa and a hug/kiss before work etc

OP posts:
Sosigsandwich · 29/10/2021 23:22

Numerous times every day, physical affection is very important to us both.

Original poster
MrsTxx · 29/10/2021 23:23

Sex is initiated by him, at very random times. I understand he has a high stress job and is doing open uni part time also. Would just love to feel loved. I do try kiss him, a passing kiss on the cheek as I walk by things like that. I put effort into my appearance if that matters? And we get along really well most of the time apart from daft bickers

OP posts:
Holothane · 29/10/2021 23:24

No snogs but the odd peck now and aga9n.

Buggritbuggrit · 29/10/2021 23:29

I’m not really understanding how sec happens without a bit of kissing. Particularly if you’d like some. Do you enjoy the sex you’re having?

I think you need to have a conversation with him about this. Do you feel he’d be receptive?

I apologise for all the questions. Please feel free to ignore if you’d rather not say. Just trying to get a clearer picture of the situation.

Mama1980 · 29/10/2021 23:35

Many times a day, just casual affection not always leaning to sex or anything more. Though we do kiss a lot before/during sex too.
Waking up, going out, on the couch, before going to sleep etc.

sunnyzweibrucken · 30/10/2021 00:21

Rarely. And never during sex

19Bears · 30/10/2021 01:34

DH hasn't kissed me for over ten years. And I'm fkn hot! He's an idiot.

Buggritbuggrit · 30/10/2021 02:07

@19Bears What? Why?!

Ohdofuckofdear · 30/10/2021 02:13

Every day,we have 5DC but only 2DC at home still as the 3 oldest have they're own homes.

We're quite a tactile couple though,we hold hands when were out and my DH will cuddle me when we're out,which couples that we know insisted we wouldn't be that way when we'd been together along time but they were wrong,years later and were still affectionate with each other.

snowdropsandcrocuses · 30/10/2021 03:04

Not every day but that's likely because I work shifts and sometimes we don't see each other but we do still 'peck' on the lips to say hello or goodnight. We also hug a lot. Regular cuddles although he's far more affectionate than I am. We always hug before bed but don't always go to bed together (I like to be up late, he likes to be up early)

It takes effort though, to maintain closeness. Have you tried asking him for a hug. If I'm feeling in need, I will slide on up to him for a cuddle.

WineGetsMeThroughIt · 30/10/2021 03:10

Almost never. Been together for nearly 25yrs. Two young children. We very rarely even have sex anymore.

NeverHomeAlone · 30/10/2021 03:11

We don't kiss loads. Probably less than most people have mentioned on here so far. We are very close those and quite affectionate in our own way, I think we have health enough sex life (few times a week), we are just really busy a lot of the time and there are kids everywhere.

My DH shows love more through acts of service. Look up love languages, it might make you feel better.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 30/10/2021 04:46

This thread has reminded me how much I hate the word "snog" - it makes me think of sweaty, furtive gropers at the school disco, of desperately contorting my body so they couldn't get their fingers fully inside me. Bleurgh! 🤮

Anyway, in a LTR I'd expect a peck on the lips when greeting /leaving each other, eg going to bed, going to work. As a sign of affection, I can manage that. Past partners have asked me to French kiss more during foreplay and I've told them it's a hard no.

Also a hard no: "cuddling" in bed - which just ends up a sticky, sweaty mess; holding hands inside the house; putting their bare feet anywhere near me (if they make contact it's an instant dumping offence); basically any physical contact that isn't a precursor to sex that I've initiated.

I'm having a hard time with triggers right now - sometimes I can tolerate more physical touch than others. I love sex though!

Aquamarine1029 · 30/10/2021 04:50

My husband and I kiss multiple times a day. We have a rule that we always give a quick kiss and say I love you when one of us leaves the house, no exceptions. Well, maybe for an emergency but that hasn't happened in 25 years. 😄