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Original poster

How often do you and your partner kiss?

71 replies

MrsTxx · 29/10/2021 22:55

Background: young couple with a nursery age child (3). We just are not affectionate at all? I just don’t understand why. What is your normal in your relationship?
We are really happy together but affection doesn’t happen often (days without touch/kissing). Right now I can’t actually remember the last time he kissed me

OP posts:
SteveArnottsWaistcoat · 30/10/2021 05:23

Hardly ever. He won’t go to the dentist and hasn’t been for well over 10 years and I know that he doesn’t brush his teeth properly. He has really horrible bad breath but because he’s so easily offended I can’t mention any of it! We aren’t really that intimate any more anyway so I guess that’s not an issue for him. Haven’t had sex for about 6 months. I find myself pleasuring him because he feels rejected if I don’t but even that isn’t as frequently as it used to be.

It all makes me feel really sad because I know I’ll never have the experience of being kissed again and I’m only 42. Sad

Hopingforabagofbuttons · 30/10/2021 05:26

Me and DH hug a lot, give each other a peck on the cheek when we leave the house, but that’s it. Neither one of us are into the full on snogs at all, each to their own I guess.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/10/2021 05:35

@SteveArnottsWaistcoat

Hardly ever. He won’t go to the dentist and hasn’t been for well over 10 years and I know that he doesn’t brush his teeth properly. He has really horrible bad breath but because he’s so easily offended I can’t mention any of it! We aren’t really that intimate any more anyway so I guess that’s not an issue for him. Haven’t had sex for about 6 months. I find myself pleasuring him because he feels rejected if I don’t but even that isn’t as frequently as it used to be.

It all makes me feel really sad because I know I’ll never have the experience of being kissed again and I’m only 42. Sad

This is beyond grim. Get a divorce, ffs. Your life does not have to be like this, and you're only 42 years old. Don't waste your life.
starrynight21 · 30/10/2021 05:41

Together 18 years, in our 60's. We kiss quite often, first thing in the morning, random times during the day, and at bedtime. We haven't had sex for many years due to medical issues, but when we did, kissing was an integral part of it.

Sundancerintherain · 30/10/2021 07:37

Well, I'm an old gimmer, been with DH over 25 years and we kiss good morning, goodbye, just because we are in the same room, hold hands if we watch TV in the evening ( if the dog doesn't get in between us first. BUT I can remember when our 2DC were young we still felt affectionate towards each other but tbh as my 2 were very tactile I felt touched out by the end of the day. ( I used to daydream about being able to have a cup of tea without one or both of them on my lap / leaning on me/ playing with my hair ect).

StarlightLady · 30/10/2021 08:32

I was brought up in France, l kiss anyone and everyone 😘.

19Bears · 30/10/2021 10:03

@Buggritbuggrit Nothing since our youngest was conceived. No sex, no touching, no kissing. He has just never seemed that bothered and I gave up in the end. He used to hug me as if I was another bloke. Or his mum. Then Brexit killed it stone dead! He became Farage fan boy and I can't even look at him now.
Also, like your DH @SteveArnottsWaistcoat he doesn't look after his teeth either. He seems to think brushing them once a week is acceptable, and hasn't been to the dentist for years, despite now having a couple fall out.
I could go on. But you can see why there's a distinct lack of anything. I wish he would just leave. I'm 44, you're 42, we're too young for this to be our lives x

19Bears · 30/10/2021 10:06

In fact, funnily enough, I woke from dream this morning where I'd given this young student a lift home from uni, and he was very complimentary to me as he was going to get out of the car, and I snogged his face off, despite being old enough to be his mother. That's as bloody close as I get!!!

Buggritbuggrit · 30/10/2021 10:34

@SteveArnottsWaistcoat and @19Bears May I ask why you’re still with these men?

Dillydollydingdong · 30/10/2021 10:42

Several times a day mmmm...

OssieShowman · 30/10/2021 11:20

H was one of those men where every kiss was supposed to lead to sex. That was not on, doing dishes, laundry, I learnt to avoid the kiss to not get into that situation.

WeeTattieBogle · 30/10/2021 11:46

@SteveArnottsWaistcoat

Hardly ever. He won’t go to the dentist and hasn’t been for well over 10 years and I know that he doesn’t brush his teeth properly. He has really horrible bad breath but because he’s so easily offended I can’t mention any of it! We aren’t really that intimate any more anyway so I guess that’s not an issue for him. Haven’t had sex for about 6 months. I find myself pleasuring him because he feels rejected if I don’t but even that isn’t as frequently as it used to be.

It all makes me feel really sad because I know I’ll never have the experience of being kissed again and I’m only 42. Sad

Please don’t write your love life off at such a young age. Give your husband an ultimatum. He seeks dental treatment or else. And I say that as someone who had a real dental phobia but who always had a very clean mouth. In fact my dentist said it was one of the ways to spot a real phobia - you’d hate to go to the dentist so you do everything to avoid it. You don’t do the opposite and not clean your teeth and floss etc.

And as someone who had a very real phobia I can honestly say that facing it was the best thing I ever did and I really can put my hand on my heart and say dental work really is painless nowadays.

You deserve way better than what you have.

WeeTattieBogle · 30/10/2021 11:52

Just have to say that I think there’s nothing quite like a very long kiss where your eyes are closed, you’re hugged in tight to each other and, you just absolutely and truly get lost in the moment.

It’s what I miss most of all now that I’m on my own.

DontscratchthePRADA · 30/10/2021 11:54

Every chance we get and we never EVER leave a room without saying I love you and having a kiss. Been together 10 years and married for 8. It would seem weird not to.

Gwenhwyfar · 30/10/2021 11:56

" I really can put my hand on my heart and say dental work really is painless nowadays."

It really is NOT.

layladomino · 30/10/2021 11:56

Several times a day I think. Mostly pecks as we pass in the kitchen / say Bye before one of us goes out. Some great snogs too Smile and we're quite old!!

maras2 · 30/10/2021 12:02

Probably 10 plus times a day.
We're retired now so have plenty of time unless looking after grandkids who have a low tolerance to Granny and Grandad snogging eewww pack it in
We've been at it for over 50 years so getting quite good. Halloween Wink

opalplumstead · 30/10/2021 12:08

[quote 19Bears]@Buggritbuggrit Nothing since our youngest was conceived. No sex, no touching, no kissing. He has just never seemed that bothered and I gave up in the end. He used to hug me as if I was another bloke. Or his mum. Then Brexit killed it stone dead! He became Farage fan boy and I can't even look at him now.
Also, like your DH @SteveArnottsWaistcoat he doesn't look after his teeth either. He seems to think brushing them once a week is acceptable, and hasn't been to the dentist for years, despite now having a couple fall out.
I could go on. But you can see why there's a distinct lack of anything. I wish he would just leave. I'm 44, you're 42, we're too young for this to be our lives x[/quote]
Oh my god ! Please get rid ladies

GoodGrief100 · 30/10/2021 12:10

Every day. We always kiss and say good morning, always kiss before leaving the house and always kiss goodnight.

WeeTattieBogle · 30/10/2021 13:22

@Gwenhwyfar

" I really can put my hand on my heart and say dental work really is painless nowadays."

It really is NOT.

Well one root canal, 2 crowns and two implants later I can honestly say I didn’t feel a thing and had no discomfort afterwards.

I could have kicked myself for being so afraid in the first place but Scottish school dentists weren’t known for their coothiness way back in the early 60’s.

BunNcheese · 30/10/2021 13:28

@Kitkatandcoffee

Have a long kiss (snog) every evening before bed. Kiss before we go out in the morning. Random kisses and cuddles just because we feel like it. Been together over 16 years. We are in our 60s.
This is so nice!
Snowisfallinghere · 30/10/2021 13:57

I don't really like snogging (yuk, also hate that word) as I'm a bit sensitive about oral tastes, smells and sensations, I feel disgusted easily. I don't like it if someone has just brushed their teeth (I find the toothpaste smell repulsive) and I obviously don't like gross stinky breath either, it almost has to be completely neutral for me to not be disgusted by someone else's mouth.

Gwenhwyfar · 30/10/2021 14:10

"Well one root canal, 2 crowns and two implants later I can honestly say I didn’t feel a thing and had no discomfort afterwards."

Lucky you. Don't for one minute think it's the same for everyone. Sometimes the local anaesthetic doesn't go to the right place, sometimes it doesn't work at all if the area is infected. I can always feel some pain through the local. Last time I had to have 6 infections before I said 'stop' and they finally agreed to let me have a GA. Obviously, while under the GA it didn't hurt, but I had two weeks of pain afterwards. This was an impacted wisdom tooth, but I've had similar pain for other extractions.
The extractions I had via a local were brutal, the dentist pushing down on my shoulder and yanking as hard as he could. This was a good dentist ten years ago.

I'm obviously not the only one who's had dental pain like this either. Teeth are not evolution's strong point.

Gwenhwyfar · 30/10/2021 14:11

@Snowisfallinghere

I don't really like snogging (yuk, also hate that word) as I'm a bit sensitive about oral tastes, smells and sensations, I feel disgusted easily. I don't like it if someone has just brushed their teeth (I find the toothpaste smell repulsive) and I obviously don't like gross stinky breath either, it almost has to be completely neutral for me to not be disgusted by someone else's mouth.
Large swathes of the world agree with you. Apparently there are many parts of Asia where kissing is considered disgusting.
GTAlogic · 30/10/2021 14:30

Dh & I have a quick peck every morning and night and mostly before one of us leaves the house but we rarely snog because I hate it. We cuddle regularly but I couldn't be doing with the constant kissing being described here: it'd do my head in!