Online dating - would you date someone who has no hobbies?

[thefourgp]

I’m giving the online dating another try for my sins. Been messaging a guy for a couple of days and he’s told me that all he does is work and watch tv and he’s looking for someone to inject some fun back into his life. Red flag?

Depends...he might not have hobbies but does he like travel, football, have friends etc but not count them as hobbies?
Although not sure what my hobbies are except eating, reading, travelling, listening to podcasts...I don't know too tired most days to have a hobby lol.

Red flag: he sounds boring and parasitical. I'd block and delete.

Not a red flag, no, as I associate that with danger.

But... I'm completely uninterested in being somebody else's manic pixie dream girl who brings the fun into their boring life. I want someone with interests, passions, friends, something to share. It doesn't have to be labelled a 'hobby' but it has to be there. So I wouldn't pursue this one.

Yeh I wouldn’t call it a red flag that’s not the right word, maybe a turn off but not a red flag, not sure it would overly bother me personally tbh

As pp, I wouldn't call it a red flag.
However I would suspect that we weren't really compatible. That said, I am not sure I would be going into detail about things before I met someone - there might be reasons why they've got out of the habit of doing things outside of work they might not want to share as an introduction to someone. I like to be fairly open minded, but I guess it depends how keen you are to bond with someone straight away, or if you are happy to go on lots of first dates and get to know people 'F2F' as it were, or if you feel it is a waste of time meeting people unless you are fairly certain it is 'going somewhere'.

Just saying, my lovely dh and I have been together 30 years, but he didn't tick many of the boxes that would have been on a wishlist at the time I met him. So I'd meet up and find out what he was like, myself.

It's a turn off, I want to be interested in the person and the things they do - but too be fair I've dated really busy guys who don't really want to share each other lives, there's no room or time - so I would still message/meet Mr Tv.

It's funny because I never watch Tv because I only like to when I'm with someone else, so maybe you should pass me his number!

TBH having a partner with loads of interests can actually massively backfire!! You can end up having a very lonely life whilst they are enjoying their hobbies etc !!

He has ‘just ask’ on his profile which I wouldn’t normally reply to because there should be something there to indicate what he likes to do. I listed a few things I like to do and asked him what he likes and he replied that he just works and watches tv. I don’t think it’s a good sign.

I think he sounds dull, do you always want to be the one arranging dates, holidays, things to do forever?

Does he have other interests he doesn’t class as hobbies? If not I’m not sure I’d class it as a red flag as such but just very dull.

Did you ask him what he did when he took leave?

What do you like to do?

Yeah that's not great. I dont really feel like I have "hobbies" but if you listed things you enjoyed I'd at least come back with reading x type of books, watching certain genres, walking in nature. To say "work and telly" is crap.

What would put me off is the idea that he thinks it's someone else's job to inject fun into his life. It's fine to be lonely and looking for love but adults know how to entertain themselves.

What's the appeal of this man? He sounds totally unsuitable.

A coffee probably is the best way to know. I’d not have any specific “hobbies” if I was asked but I am actually interested in a lot of things That would be more likely to come out in conversation in person.

"Just ask me" on profiles is such a turn off

I don’t have any hobbies. Good job I’m married already because I’m clearly dull.

It's a no from me. Sounds like he would be draining.

What would he bring to the relationship?

If he can’t enrich his own life what’s he going to contribute to yours?

Define hobbies. I dont have any. But Im busy with DIY, going out etc. But they're not hobbies per se.

The key words are that he wants someone to inject some back into his life. He's needy and wants someone to do the hard work.
I dont have any hobbies, but Im fullfilled and would never require another person to "inject" me happy.

I don’t have any hobbies.
I work full time and I’m a single parent. The little free time I do have I want to spend watching tv or going for a long walk.

Some people are introverts and would rather spend their time at home rather than finishing work and going straight back out.

The flip side is that someone else could have lots of hobbies and then you’ll be constantly competing for attention.

What hobbies do you do?
Are you looking for someone to join you with these?

Ask him if there is anything he would like to do? On the plus side he will be cheap and won't be spending all his money on various hobbies!

That’s all my partner does, some people are just more of a home body than others. It can feel dull I guess but also secure/comforting. I depends what you’re looking for.

Does he not have any friends? And he’s not interested in reading/any sports/something abstruse like budding space technology? Nothing?

I’m not sure I know anyone with ‘hobbies’ (the term always makes me think of ‘D’Hs on AIBU who disappear all weekend to do something mysterious), but most people have interests. If his life really is just work+tv, I wouldn’t consider him to be particularly well rounded as a person. It seems a rather joyless existence.