When dp social life takes over - wwyd

[Browneyedgirl8]

I’m lonely. Dp is arranging nights out with friends that leaves little time for us.
Example next week Monday night is his sports night - every Monday. Tuesday he’s arranged boys curry night, Wednesday work takes him away overnight. Friday another curry night with different friends. We have Thursday evening together. Weekends usually taken up with other sporting activities.
I am happy to see my girlfriends but occasionally.. once a week at most.

I have told him that I would like to spend more time with him rather than sat on my own. I think he us being rather selfish but he doesn’t agree
Aibu
We have been together 7 years living together for 2.
No dependant children. Mid 40s. Share housework etc. He’s not having an affair in case anyone suggests that.

@Aderyn21

Ted if you made plans to see your friends for 5 nights in one week and took the view that your DH could survive the week without you, that's probably true. The problem comes if you were doing this most weeks and your husband felt like he was just someone you saw when you didn't have better plans. Partners we I'll definitely come and go if people don't make enough time to see them and prefer to be out with their mates. I don't think that people should never see friends and I certainly agree that it's wrong to take your partner to all meet ups - when I see my friends I want to see them not their dp or their kids. But I stand by the view that your partner should be the person you value seeing above all others. I think there's something wrong when you'd rather be out with mates every spare evening than with your partner.

Yes I agree

I had a boyfriend like this once. It felt like I was a bit part player in his life and that I spent my life waiting for a spare gap in his life.
I binned him off in the end because love is about compromise and there was no compromise from him and I am nobody's second best and neither are you.
This isn't working for you.

I'm sorry but I'm going to ask. What work does your DP do that he stays overnight every Wednesday?

I think the issue is that your DP is hanging around with his single mates sorry OP but it's a slippery slope.

You need to speak to him and tell him your not happy I agree it's excessive and it could be that your DP has not had much experience with you being the only women he's lived with.

He is self employed so no two weeks are the same. Very Occasionally it takes him overnight but not often.
He stays away for golf weekends, racing fixtures etc when he wants. Not excessive. I’m ok with this.
We do nice things together, odd weekends away etc.
His hobby is at least one full day at the weekend, sometimes two plus days in the week. I work during the week so that doesn’t effect me. The weekends I would like a day together. If he was asked to play his sport both days at the weekend he would.
Basically he wants to do it all.
He has a fomo
I have spoken to him about it and asked if he values our relationship which he says he does. I’ve asked him not to book 4 weekday nights out of 5 out with his friends in future as It’s not how I would like a relationship to be.
I will see if actions speak louder than words in the coming weeks