ok need some sex advice from someone who is a bit kinky[fgrin]

[dressedupnowheretogotilxmas]

lol i hate the word kinky

but i'm quite a demanding person and i would like nothing more than my dh to take the lead i have tried quiet suggestion watching films that suggest this you know secertary etc

i think what i want is to be submissive and him being the dominating one for a change and i trust him implictitly so i know if i said stop he would

but how do i get him there we so desperatley need a change

couldnt be bothered to name change and ifanyone would prefer to cat me i dont mind

i have done both of those already lol

im better stocked than ann summers

Try doing a little tit for tat (no pun intended) and saying you'll do anything he wants for one hour if he'll do anything you want for one hour (or one session, whichevers better)

Perhaps he has a particular fantasy you've never done, maybe outdoor sex or something, if you could accomodate his, then you could ask him to take the lead with you when it's your turn.

If I were you I'd just let him know (perhaps in whispers under the covers, or even in a sexy note/surprise email) just how much it turns you on. Discussing fantasies is usually a good idea anyway as you never know what you'll discover about each other, you may find one of his really turns you on, too.

Perhaps he thinks domination has to involve bullwhips and chains, and finds it all a bit too scary, or staged? hth.

I would have pointed you to the 'Taken in Hand' website, but it seems to be permanently offline at the moment.

However, from my dim recollection, one article that was on there was along the lines of your question, and it suggested that you start behaving toward him as though he were already like that and it may encourage him to start doing so when he sees it's not such a scary thing (agree with what J&TGB says, to someone who doesn't necessarily find domination a turn on, he may have an entirely different picture in his mind of what it means). Talk a bit more, even if it's awkward to start off with...

where's madamez? I am sure she could help!

just lie naked on the bed and tell him your his bich/slg/t*rt for the night and he can do tou u whatevvvvvvvvver he wants that should do the trick, specially if u wear some nice fishnets and fancy underwear...

ooops sorry bout the weird bit up there lol, forgot that the star button makes things bold, was emant to just get the message across without actually saying the words incase i insulted anyone lol

ok

dont mean to be rude and thanks for all the suggestions but they are a bit tame

we have done all that kind of thing we have quite an open sex life not swingers i mean our sexual conversation is very good

so come on bring out your deviant side

TBH if you are both open about sexual things and speak about it alot, why cant u just come right out and say to him " i want u to dominate me"...

u make beautiful things by the way

Agree with Lou.
Just blardy tell him!
Not while you are at it though, you must tell them things you want at another time, well away from the bedroom apparently.

i did he thinks it too demanding and too much pressure

and thanx loo let me know if you ever want anything done to comission

well what i didn when my man was a little shy in bringing out his dominent side was get into doggi position (sorry if thats tmi! lol) and deman that hes getting nothing unless he spanks me once he did that he had a taste for it and wanted to do more and now hes just as wild as me! You just gotta get that 1st spank or hair pull in and there all yours!

It does sound like there's a possiblity he doesn't want to top you for some reason if your hints and indeed buying of relevant toys are all being ignored. I think you're going to have to have a straight-ish talk with him about it. He might find the whole idea unerotic, or he might think there is something unethical about him dominating you (some men worry that enjoying SM sex means they are going to turn into wifebeaters). Or he might like the ide of kink but, actually, what turns him on is the idea of you wielding the whip.
I don't know whereabouts in the country you are but something that might help is to go to a fetish club with him (you can fib and say a mate recommended it or even got you tickets if need be): they are very unthreatening places these days, with helpful dungeon monitors falling over their nipple clamps to offer advice. And you don't have to do anything, you can just absorb the atmosphere. Good luck.

well tell him hes not getting any till he does as hes told , and thanks, will shout u when im after something.

sorry lady i disadree i find that if u get them wound up enough IN the bedroom theyll do just about anything for you in AND out of it if u ask them!

How unerotic would scouting out a fetish club be??!!

you say in his ear when you are getting it on, that you want him to take charge and do anything he likes to you.

ive got him pullin gmy hair lol its just the spanking

where do i find a fetish club with out ending up with a load of porn in inbox

dressed up where do u live?

spank him then, see if he does it back, or whisper to him that u would like him to return the favour

Dressedup: where (roughly) in the country are you? If it's London or near London I can give you some recommendations, if elsewhere, have a look at this lot who have a very comprehensive clubs listing.

If you want to be a little more specific look here