ok need some sex advice from someone who is a bit kinky[fgrin]

[dressedupnowheretogotilxmas]

lol i hate the word kinky

but i'm quite a demanding person and i would like nothing more than my dh to take the lead i have tried quiet suggestion watching films that suggest this you know secertary etc

i think what i want is to be submissive and him being the dominating one for a change and i trust him implictitly so i know if i said stop he would

but how do i get him there we so desperatley need a change

couldnt be bothered to name change and ifanyone would prefer to cat me i dont mind

and good luck!

i live in east mids

will have a look at those links thanx girlies

If you are open enough to talk about fantasies, maybe you could make up a scenario together.....say you come home to what you think is an empty house (obviously planned in advance!) and he grabs you in the dark and 'takes you' so to speak....

Or maybe you could (again with an empty house and when you know he's going to be home) send him saucy texts all day and tell him to get his @rse home at a certain time, and he discovers you with your sexy lingerie on and your hands handcuff above your head?

TMSMJ: OK if the OP's bloke is not into the idea then obviously he shouldn't have to do stuff that freaks him out but they do need to have a proper discussion about what things he is happy to try in that direction. It's not right or fair for one partner to totally dismiss the other's inclinations out of hand, either. If he's just not particularly interested in tying her up or whatever, perhaps he could do it sometimes and then she could do stuff that thrills him but isn't all that exciting for her, on other occasions. If you're going to have a long term monogamous sexual relationship then you have to be prepared for some degree of compromise.

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i agree madamez like swallowing and the first few times we did anal

...

i just need dominating arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

maybe he'll take my bank cards off me that would be worse

dressed up, i know how you feel, its drives me mad sometimes I do think you sometimes have to just take what you want, get yourself a whip, make him use it. But dont pressure him, its a big deal. I think informedconsent.com might have some stuff of interest to you, but i am assuming you want your submissive side to be left in the bedroom, like i do mine?

Why do you desperately need a change?

Is there something else going on in your relationship?

Oh my god, my sex life is so boring compared to you lot. \my dh wopuld die if I said yes never ming what I wanted. If I watch porn on the tv I'll happily get some but going to a fetish club is a big step I would happily watch/join in but the sheer effort of leg shaving/babysitting would be a turn off. I need help too 'cos I don't feel like sexy and would love to act out stuff. Who the hell has the time these days/energy

Well exactly stickyj. A snog and a cuddle is pretty good going in my book - let alone sex with bells and whistles or whatever.

i understand all opinions on this

yes we hit 7 and a half years hard i had a bad time im recovering pnd

our sex life is exactly that OURS me and him im in need of good loving which i get most nights but i want to switch it up

had a look on informed consent ohh my mind boggled but in a good way

and yes i wanna leave my sub missive shoes in the bedroom

Morning, you! Been lurking but can't bring myself to post suggestions... my sister and sometimes my MIL come on MN so it isn't that private for me!! But just wanted to say that DH and I have always said to each other that since we've chosen to spend the rest of our lives together then we have to be free and open to trying anything that takes our fancy. If your DH isn't getting the message when you tell him, then show him some photos or videos. Show him this thread, even! It'll work out. I'm sure once he understands what you want, well, we won't be seeign you on MN that often!

Just tell it like it is. They are not very good with the hinting game.
"I want you on top and in control. Rip my clothes, pin me down and talk dirty"

Why don't you show him this thread?

think i may have too

Oh blimey, well basically I have what you want

DP and I have a very D/S relationship in the bedroom which occasionally meanders out into every day life.

I agree with what others have said, communication is key, if you explain exactly what you want, and if he is a bit nervous, explain also the safeword, that if you say a specific word (agreed in advance) if it gets too intense, that way he might feel more secure that he wont be 'hurting' you.

Can I also suggest that you write him some porn, outlining a scenario that appeals to you? It might give him a clearer idea of what you want so he isn't so worried about it, also here has some great spanking stories which might help?

If you want to chat more, you can email me at missobedient @ msn dot com

HTH

How is he in the rest of your life? Do you take the lead in most other things too? I have a BF who is reticent(right word?) and it is beginning to really irritate me that i am always the one making suggestions, plans etc... and even after 8 years ( i am 44 ..he is in 50's) he is still shy and embarressed in the bedroom...... we do have wonderful sex, but he is definitely not the dominant one...

Could you get him to start behaving more dominantly towards you in ordinary life? Defer to him and so on? Maybe it will lead to more in the bedroom.

The problem here is the usual one, where you want them to do somethingb, but that having to ask for it, defeats the whole point of it.

Do
Sometimes after a baby, it's just a case of dissociating you as a mum and you as the person he used to date.

I think the whole idea of handcuffs for xmas is a good one. At least its a start. For me its anal that I'm not sure of. We try and want to do it but Im afraid that I will never be the same again, if you know what I mean. Did you just go for it? or start off gently? Sorry, but if i cant ask here where can I?

woowoo, you just need torelax, a glass or 2 of wine is a good idea, plenty of lube and take it slowly, perhaps start off with fingers first

HTH