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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

When you get home to find your DH watching....

22 replies

19Bears · 14/10/2021 22:29

yet another Nigel Farage video, which is bad enough, but then he follows that up with Enoch Powell. I don't think I need any more reason to never speak to him again.

OP posts:
Luckytattie · 14/10/2021 22:30

Ltb

PanicBuyingSprouts · 14/10/2021 22:31

Really hope you haven't had DC with him.

19Bears · 14/10/2021 22:46

You know sometimes I think I'm being harsh on him, or overreacting, especially when it comes to our differences in politics, but this is pretty shit isn't it....

OP posts:
HarrisonStickle · 14/10/2021 23:05

It's more than shit, OP!

I could never stay with a racist.

19Bears · 14/10/2021 23:26

It's pretty odd behaviour when you are aware how unhappy your wife is, how she's already pointed out that the politics obsession is aggravating the situation, you notice how she and your children have fun together but you never bother to get involved, but you want to 'keep the family together'....and you ramp it up to the level of Enoch bloody Powell?????

OP posts:
Mmmmdanone · 14/10/2021 23:38

Oh sweetheart, you commented on a thread of mine today. You really can't stand your husband, just as I can't stand mine.
I'm going through a really tough time at the moment but the things that are keeping me going are knowing my marriage is over, i'm no longer lying and I will soon be free. And I'm also doing it for the good of my husband- that thought also keeps me going. He can go off and find someone else who appreciates him (I will not now insert any comment on how unlikely that is as I am feeling very zen right now😌).
I probably should have done this 10 years ago. Don't let that be you.

Frigginintheriggin · 15/10/2021 00:04

Whats happened here is you've married a cunt.
Not a common or garden cunt, but a racist cunt.
Id run for the hills waving divorce papers behind me....
Personally I couldn't be associated with someone who held such vile views.
Good luck 💐

Sakurami · 15/10/2021 00:07

That's unforgivable. I can barely stomach tory voting brexshitters because they're either thick as fuck or selfish idiots or xenophobic and I've alienated myself away from some friends. As bad as my ex was even he didn't stoop that low.

19Bears · 15/10/2021 00:24

@Mmmmdanone Yes, I hope we are both free of them soon! I would love him to find someone and just let me go and be on my own, I dream of the peace I'll have!!! I should have done it years ago too.
@Frigginintheriggin and @Sakurami thank you for your comments, they made me laugh! I am so bloody quiet and extremely patient, I just try to brush things off and keep the peace, but you have both said exactly what's in my mind and what I'd love to get out of my mouth Halo

OP posts:
Frigginintheriggin · 15/10/2021 07:08

Happy to provide the words if you plan on doing a flit and leaving a letter.......

pointythings · 15/10/2021 07:51

I do hope you get out soon, I couldn't be doing with that. And it isn't what you want the DC to learn either - racism and xenophobia are toxic and there's already too much of them around these days.

tenredthings · 15/10/2021 08:27

You chose him, you can unchoose him too. IMO anyone who watches those bigoted idiots is either doing it to wind you up or holds some deeply unpleasant views.

19Bears · 15/10/2021 11:11

I definitely don't want my kids to think it's ok. Even I have got so used to it, I don't really notice that much anymore, and just go out of the way if he puts any of his political stuff on the telly of an evening. And I know if I mention anything about EP, he'll just claim to be interested in what he was all about, rather than admiring him. But I know a little bit about EP, and it does align with dh's views on immigration. You should see him if bloody Priti Patel appears on telly, he's practically licking the screen.
And yes @tenredthings he's either so entrenched in views I cannot ever agree with, or he just wants to wind me up. I don't know which is worse. Or pretending to wash his hands after going to the toilet. That's pretty bad. Not brushing his teeth....not good either.
And this morning as I was leaving for work he asked very cheerily if I could pick up his medication from the chemists for him, just like all of this is fine and I'm having a lovely time........

OP posts:
Lunificent · 15/10/2021 11:12

It’s beyond shit. LTB.

KateTheEighth · 15/10/2021 11:17

He's repulsive

Do your dc see/hear these videos?

Does he express his views in front of them?

You need to get away from this vile man

19Bears · 15/10/2021 11:25

The thing is, he's not some black-shirted aggressive bigoted thug that you might imagine, he's just an ordinary soft spoken bloke who has seemingly been brainwashed by Farage and his gang. Think Frank Spencer getting mixed up with the wrong crowd. He'll watch this shit, then give our youngest a tickle and ask about his day. But he also watches left wing political youtube channels. It's just all weird and draining. When it's just me and the kids we have Attenborough, or quiz shows, or random Estonian cycling championships on telly. Things they can take an interest in. And if I ever seem annoyed or slam a door in frustration, he'll look at me as if to say, what the hell's wrong with her. I honestly sometimes think he just can't see the damage he's doing.

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 15/10/2021 14:41

So he's pale, stale and male and is finding verification via YouTube that he is somehow part of the chosen elite of humans.

Which are more or less the exact words I would use to address him followed by who the actual fuck do you think you are?

They also think women should be put in their place as well.

IsThePopeCatholic · 15/10/2021 14:47

What an unholy alliance! He sounds awful your dh.

Lonelymum21 · 15/10/2021 14:55

Does he agree with the views or is he just learning what it all means? I've googled Enoch Powell before after there was a reference the the rivers of blood speech in a film and I had no idea what it was. Definitely don't agree with it!

saleorbouy · 15/10/2021 15:33

Watching a film or documentary to understand that person's thoughts and ideology is fine, how else would we learn from history.
Idolising and agreeing with these messages is an entirely more serious matter!
Hopefully your DH is in the former category not the latter, I'd find agreement with Enoch's ideology very tasteless and disconcerting.

ConfusedSoMuch · 15/10/2021 16:04

Watching a video of Powell or Farage does not make you racist.

Not listening to you, taking on board your concerns and trying to make an effort is another matter. But slamming doors isn't the answer either.

Craftycorvid · 16/10/2021 00:07

What a peach! I’d prefer to find my chap watching very niche porn involving household implements and goats, quite frankly. My libido would run away and hide confronted with those political views.

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