What would you do

[Bobaba88]

The other day I was out with my friend. She reffered to me as "big". I'm struggling Like he'll to loose weight and this comment has upset me so much. I've not said anything I don't want to upset her and ruin our friendship but I don't know how to bring it up. Like.i said it totally ruined my day. Xxxx

In what context was this? What was the sentence?

I'm big 🤷🏻‍♀️ I am what I am. It's not a hidden secret! It totally depends on context.

Was she deliberately being hurtful, or have you referred to yourself in the same way lately and so she thinks it's ok to say it?

You are so so much more than your weight. Is she a good pal? Talk to her about it.

Just say you know the other day when you called me big? Well it hurt my feelings.
Remember Dr Seuss, those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter.

Do you need to bring it up?

If you think she didn't intend to be hurtful, maybe you're better letting it go.

Otoh, if she makes a habit of putting you down? Then maybe she's not really a friend worth keeping.

It was said like this,

"You know big ian (my husband) and Catherine (meaning me)" she was talking to her friend as she said it.

That's not calling you big. That's calling Ian big.

It sounds like she called you by your name and your husband "big Ian"? I think you are reading too much into this! My DH is called "big E" as he is a taller than average well built man. It's a common phrase!

Yeah she said big Ian and big Catherine

I think that's really rude, not sure what I would do, to be honest! Maybe send her a text explaining how much it hurt your feelings? You can say you don't want to ruin your friendship but what she said really hurt you. See what she says back - that will determine if the friendship is ruined or not.

That’s awful. How much do you value the friendship?