He's not going in to the office

[Mmmmdanone]

Husband and I separated but still living in same the house. He's been wfh since the beginning of Covid but has now been asked to go into the office 2 days per week. He's just refusing to go in. I can't take it any more. I'm off this week for school holidays and I was so looking forward to a couple of days of him being out. It's changed everything in my eyes. We were trying to get along for the sake of the kids but now I feel like I'm going to explode. I can't look at him, don't want to "get along" any more. He's pathetic and I hate him. He won't move out. I want to make life as difficult for him as I can but this will make life hard for the children too.
I've stupidly been doing his laundry and cooking for him with the rest of us. I'm stopping this now. I don't know why I'm posting this, I'm just so done with him and can't face living with him any more. I would move it to a rental but don't feel that's the right thing to do for the children. He would then be sitting in a 3 bed house while me and the kids are in a rented flat. He's never put much effort into the house either. I can't stand the thought of him being here and letting it go to ruin.
What can I do?

Omg, so he wouldnt even leave the bed 😵

@CareerConcerns1999

Oh god yes definitely stop the food and laundry. I'd go so far as to clear out a cupboard for him to keep his own food and laundry tabs etc.

Dont keep quiet. Vacuum at the office door, invite the kids friends round for playdates after school etc.

Live as if he isnt there.

Serve divorce papers.

Absolutely this.

OP, I think you need to realise that your hand here is stronger than you think.

You don't have to allow a grown ass man sole access to the main bedroom and entire living space of your family home when he has an office that he can go to. Sure, don't be a dick about it, but inform him that as he is able to go into the office two days a week you'll all be behaving normally at home on two days, and as he has commandeered the master he can work in there (bedtop desk if necessary, plenty of people have done so during the pandemic - or he can buy a desk and a smaller bed if he'd prefer). No more working in the family living space.

His opinion of your contribution to the marriage is completely irrelevant, refuse to discuss finances with him unless in, mediation, otherwise refer him to your solicitor.

If he's doing chores "for you" then I'd continue doing laundry and meals "for him" (for example, if you wash everything and he hangs it up/folds it and puts it away or you cook for everyone and he does all of the washing up) but if it's a one way street then stop it. He can hardly kick up a fuss if he's not reciprocating can he (I mean, I imagine he will anyway but that'll just make him look like an arse again and you can laugh at him).

Talk with you solicitor about how to speed up the process of buying him out. Return home from your mum's refreshed and instigate the new way of doing things.

@TheReluctantPhoenix

Although I sympathise with you, I equally sympathise with your husband.

You have no more right to the house than he does, and his solicitor will have strongly advised him not to move out until you have something in writing about child arrangements and financial split.

It is a shitty situation for all and you being aggressive to him for working from home is not helping. And now, with his retaliation, you have both reached a new level of unpleasantness.

My best advice is to move along with the divorce as fast as possible and be polite (although not a doormat) in the interval. Negotiate a fair split of chores and house access, as you would with a housemate.

If you keep it amicable, it will get done quicker and minimise the harm to your children.

This