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Original poster

Female friend won't meet me?

125 replies

Pollypocket89 · 07/10/2021 16:17

My dh has made a new ish friend, maybe in the last 2 months or so. I keep saying to him I'd like to meet her and she apparently keeps saying no. She's dropped him off from work before and driven straight off. Is this weird? It seems strange to me

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 07/10/2021 16:43

They met on a day off as far as I'm aware. I suppose I am.. Curious is my only word I think. She's met one of his friends so I didn't think it was that weird to want to meet her

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 07/10/2021 16:43

There is no way your DH has asked her.

Pinkbonbon · 07/10/2021 16:43

@Pollypocket89

They do text, they net at work for those asking where she came from.

Pinkbonbon, what do you mean she is not his friend?

I meanhe could be saying 'oh she is just a friend' when actually they are sleeping together.

But that might be 2+2=5.

How did he meet her? How often do they hang out? I'm private or with other people? Is he texting her at all hours of the day and night? And has he become more secretive with his phone?

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 07/10/2021 16:45

Oh I see. Er, he texts her most days and they net through work. He doesn't have many friends, like I said

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 07/10/2021 16:45

And he meets her 1 on 1

OP posts:
Redglitter · 07/10/2021 16:46

I invited her for lunch

No wonder she's not keen. That's a bit much when they've only been friends 2 months, i'd find that really odd if I was in her position.

Do you normally invite his friends for lunch or is it just this one

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 07/10/2021 16:46

@girlmom21 is that how it looks, me asking her to come round??

OP posts:
residentkaleidoscope · 07/10/2021 16:48

It is a little full on wanting to meet your partners work friend after a couple of months. Are you sure there's nothing more to it?

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 07/10/2021 16:48

Redglitter, he doesn't really have many friends, he doesn't befriend people properly easily, they are mainly our friends. So I haven't invited anyone else

OP posts:
DoleWhipFloat · 07/10/2021 16:49

I have a male friend at work and his wife wants to meet me.

She has asked if she can pop to our work at lunch and even FaceTime me to ‘thank me’ for making her husbands job so enjoyable (his words).

I find it a bit strange. I’m at work. I’m working. I’m not interested in her husband other than as a colleague who I get along with. I’d probably meet him for a coffee one weekend if he wanted to. He’s a nice person and I enjoy a chat. But it would just be a quick coffee and a chat so I could get back to my family and enjoy my time off.

On the other hand DH has female friends at work and I’ve met them all. I regularly get invited out with them for dinner. However, taking partners is commonplace within the group and all partners are invited.

If my friend in work’s husband wanted to meet me out of ‘curiosity’, I’d be scared. 😬

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 07/10/2021 16:50

He's mentioned her a bit and we've been having a couple of issues and I've seen her picture on his phone so I suppose there's an element of wanting to be sure there's nothing on either side but it's mainly curiousity as he doesn't have many friends, like I said

OP posts:
WhyOhWhyOhWhyyyy · 07/10/2021 16:50

I don’t think I would be comfortable with my DH suddenly texting every day and meeting up 1 on 1 on his day off with his new female colleague.

But I would be challenging him on that rather than asking to meet her.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 07/10/2021 16:52

have a male friend at work and his wife wants to meet me.

She has asked if she can pop to our work at lunch and even FaceTime me to ‘thank me’ for making her husbands job so enjoyable (his words).

What did you say to that??

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 07/10/2021 16:52

I don't think it's full on to invite her to lunch. I would do the same.

If you are hanging with a man as a friend and find out they have a gf then wouldn't you want to be respectful and let her know you just see him as a mate?

If i happened to really click with a guy on a friend level, I'd probably make a point of asking him to bring his wife along on one of our lunches. Or at least want to take five minutes to say hello to her.

Unless she doesn't know you exist.

It's possible he is cheating with her and tells her he is in an unhappy marriage and you must not see her. Hense she sped off.

Either way, you should be able to say 'well I'd like to meet this person you are spending so much time with so next time you are going to see her, I'll come too, just for 10 minutes to say hello and introduce myself'. No one should have a problem with that. If he does, you'll know he is up to no good.

MrMrsJones · 07/10/2021 16:52

A new friend
Meet 121
Talks about her all the time
She doesn't want to meet you, but has met other friends
They text outside of work
I bet she is young and pretty, because it won't be Margaret who is 50 and works in admin will it?

Dora26 · 07/10/2021 16:54

Meeting for drinks? Now that would worry me ….

Pinkbonbon · 07/10/2021 16:56

And I'm he says no to you meeting her then he is not to meet her. Its that simple. Because its innapropriate for him to be meeting her 1 on 1 as is. In fact, I wouldn't be ok with that even if I was sure there was nothing going on.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 07/10/2021 16:56

Why would meeting for drinks worry you?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 07/10/2021 16:57

Why not, Pinkbonbon? I'd grab a coffee with a male friend

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 07/10/2021 17:01

@Pollypocket89

Why would meeting for drinks worry you?
Because lets be honest, she is some random who he has no reason to be meeting.

She is not his friend, she is some dame he met 2 months ago. A man in a relationship has no reason to meet some random woman 1 on 1 for drinks. No respectable reason anyway.

OK, there might be an exception, maybe they have a rare hobby in common or a shared pasr experience and they happened to just bond somehow. But if we're being fair and going with that then there's no reason he shouldn't want to put your mind at ease and introduce her to you.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 07/10/2021 17:03

Yeah I think I didn't think I was asking too much to meet her. If she's important enough to be a good friend to him, I want to meet this lovely woman who's been supportive of dh

OP posts:
2andahalfpints · 07/10/2021 17:03

This has got to be a wind up or you are not being honest with yourself about how you really feel about the situation..

Hellotoallmyfans · 07/10/2021 17:06

Honestly OP, there are red flags flying all over the place with this! I wouldn't be happy at all with my dh having a "friend" from work who he texts outside of work, meets for drinks, gets lifts from etc. And I wouldn't have any intention of meeting her either - I'd say that shit stops now!

I don't care if I sound possessive, my dh wouldn't have me doing that with a male colleague either - it's taking the piss IMO.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 07/10/2021 17:11

@2andahalfpints like I said below, I'm... Curious. Not suspicious yet but that's why I wanted to meet her, to see for myself

--
He's mentioned her a bit and we've been having a couple of issues and I've seen her picture on his phone so I suppose there's an element of wanting to be sure there's nothing on either side but it's mainly curiousity as he doesn't have many friends, like I said

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 07/10/2021 17:12

I would find it very odd if a male colleague's wife wanted to meet me when I've only know him for 2 months. I'd see it very much as being checked up on that I wasn't a romantic threat and I wouldn't want to get involved in their relationship dramas/insecurities/whatever.