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Original poster

Husband has left me will he come back?

60 replies

Loolabells · 05/10/2021 14:37

So my husband has decided he doesn’t want to be in the relationship anymore and he doesn’t love me. I am devastated by this it seems to have come a bit out of the blue a few weeks ago he told me that he was unhappy and he needed space but now he’s decided to go to stay at his mums.
I really want for him to come back and work on the relationship do you think he will come back?

OP posts:
Marjoriedrawers · 05/10/2021 14:39

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girlmom21 · 05/10/2021 14:41

Nobody can possibly know. Why did he leave? Did he say he needs space or that it's over? Did he say he's fallen out of love with you?

hashbrownsandwich · 05/10/2021 14:42

If it's sudden, he's likely shagging someone else or at least considering it. In which case, why would you want him back?

solarsky · 05/10/2021 14:43

I know what it feels like to hope to get back together again and it's hard to accept this straight away but don't spend your time hoping he will and while we have no control with them coming back you can now take total control over your own life and create a new one.

Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 05/10/2021 14:44

Hopefully not. It will save you a lot of heartache. It might not feel that way just now but it will get easier.

Eeiliethya · 05/10/2021 14:44

@Marjoriedrawers

References deleted post
Not very nice is it? Hmm.

We don't know OP and can't answer that. But if he says he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore then there's not much control you have over that.

It hurts like hell, but the hurt won't last forever. If he has chosen to leave then it's not meant to be, and it sounds like he's checked out. Only you and your husband know the history behind this but you've just got to roll with the motions.

Everything will be alright, it doesn't feel like it now but you'll get there. Don't throw yourself at his mercy either, make sure you take your own wants and needs into account and don't agree to change just because it suits him. Some people just aren't compatible in the long run OP.

toolazytothinkofausername · 05/10/2021 14:48

Do you have children?

youvegottenminuteslynn · 05/10/2021 14:48

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Nanananani · 05/10/2021 14:50

That depends on the real reason he has left. When men leave relationships unexpectedly it often transpires that he has someone else waiting in the wings

toolazytothinkofausername · 05/10/2021 14:52

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SpindleWhirl · 05/10/2021 14:53

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FleasInMyKnees · 05/10/2021 14:56

Do you want him back, if he doesnt love you and doesnt want to be in a relationship is that the future you want.

Maze76 · 05/10/2021 15:00

@Nanananani

That depends on the real reason he has left. When men leave relationships unexpectedly it often transpires that he has someone else waiting in the wings
I agree. It’s sudden and out of the blue for you, but not for him. He’s been thinking and planning and weighing up his options. So sorry- I’ve been where you are, it sucks! The next few months will be a rollercoaster of emotions, but let me tell you something.. go through the pain, please don’t beg or plead with him, and if possible distance yourself as much as possible. Remember you are not to blame, he is, nothing you could have said or done , no matter if he says otherwise, nothing would have changed his behaviour and trust me, he will try and place the blame for his actions on you. He is responsible for his actions, not you. You will get through this, you will discover your strength and you will flourish- let no man/ woman/ person try and diminish you.
Aquamarine1029 · 05/10/2021 15:03

Most likely, there is another woman in the picture. It's the classic Script.

Original poster
Loolabells · 05/10/2021 15:03

We have 1 DS who is 15 months there have more arguments recently. But I didn’t think it was enough to split up. First he said he needed space then he said he would be happier if we weren’t together

OP posts:
TinaYouFatLard · 05/10/2021 15:05

He’s most likely had his head turned by another woman. Sorry you’re dealing with this. Think about whether you actually want this man back after what he has said and done.

Original poster
Loolabells · 05/10/2021 15:05

It feels like he’s very emotionally closed off from me at the moment

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 05/10/2021 15:08

@Loolabells

It feels like he’s very emotionally closed off from me at the moment
It's deliberate. Makes it easier for him to leave.
hashbrownsandwich · 05/10/2021 15:13

I'm really sorry but he will have been cheating.

Original poster
Loolabells · 05/10/2021 15:14

I’ve asked him if there is OW and he has said no

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 05/10/2021 15:16

@Loolabells

I’ve asked him if there is OW and he has said no
They always deny it at first. I'm sorry, op, but he's cheating.
TaraR2020 · 05/10/2021 15:18

I'm so sorry @Loolabells it's really awful for you Flowers

I don't think any of us can say whether he will be back, perhaps he is struggling with parenthood?

Do you have support close by - family , friends?

FlowerArranger · 05/10/2021 15:19

@Loolabells Flowers..... there could be lots of reasons why he has left, but even if he were to come back, guard your heart! It's not easy, and often inadvisable, to try and glue a broken relationship back together.

Whatever you do, please do not beg or plead. Or twist and pretzel yourself to try and get him back. Or do the pick me dance if it turns out he is cheating. Remember you cannot control someone else's actions and feelings - only your own.

The best thing you can do right now is to accept the pain but don't let it control you. Which is infinitely easier if you focus on your child and practicalities, such as separating finances (don't let him take joint funds!) and thinking about your career and living situation going forward.

DoYouLikeOwls · 05/10/2021 15:20

@Loolabells

We have 1 DS who is 15 months there have more arguments recently. But I didn’t think it was enough to split up. First he said he needed space then he said he would be happier if we weren’t together
This must be so hard for you especially with such a young child.

I don't think I could ever get over him saying he didn't love me etc even if he did come back.

Sorry.

Tana433 · 05/10/2021 15:21

It is unlikely he has left to be on his own OP, sorry, but this very,very rarely happens. Maybe instead of asking when he will be back you should be questioning whether you really want him to come back. What is in it for you? Not an awful lot by the sounds of it. And yes, unfortunately i have been there and done that and now 10 years down the road i wonder what i ever saw in him.

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