Discovered brother-in-law's porn

[lascar]

I was babysitting my niece (7) and nephew (9) who had to use their Dad's computer to do their homework. We couldn't find the login so my nephew clicked on the Opera browser icon to see if would work on a different browser. When we did so about 1001 porn windows opened up, plus a chaturbate screen (indicating he was using porn webcams). They laughed in shock, I quickly grabbed the machine and closed everything down. Now I don't know what to do. He's a nice guy, my sister says they often fight because he wants more sex and she's tired. I sense the best thing is to say nothing, but it was very easy to find and it seems my niece and nephew often use this computer. What should I do???

Thanks.

I would say it was actually spam/virus websites that pop up if you don’t have blockers by the way you describe it.
Most people would know how to exit a webpage if they knew how to get onto one.

I would give them a heads up that it popped up without sounding like you’ve been nosing through their history/are judging his or her choices.

I agree that if my 7 year old saw a cartoon naked boobs/bum etc she would laugh too but not understand what it was
What a grim situation, I'd definitely tell my sister what I'd seen though and let her judge her own husband

Yes, now I know it was a cartoon, I find it less strange that a 7 year old would laugh.

At the time of my post re being worried about a 7 year old laughing the OP hadn't said it was a cartoon.

My 7 yr old would laugh/giggle at a cartoon of naked people. However, I was imagining they had seen a real life full on sex scene. The type of porn I was thinking of what probably traumatise a young child of that age and there would be lot of questions about what they were doing to each other, if he was hurting her etc

@RaisedByPangolins

He’s perfectly entitled to look at whatever he likes as part of his sex life. Whatever windows are popping up aren’t necessarily indicative of what he’s been doing, they could be pop ups or spam etc so don’t go jumping to conclusions after seeing a momentary glance at a screen.

If you have his number I’d just say factually that you were helping the kids with their homework and some unsavoury windows popped up, thought you should let him know that they’ve seen it in case they ask any awkward questions.

If you don’t feel like you can say that to him directly then maybe say it to your sister. It’s not fair on young kids to be exposed to that stuff and especially when you’re looking after them you don’t want them saying “I saw the naked ladies when lascar was here” or something. From a safeguarding POV somebody should be told so that they’re more aware of not leaving tabs open.

And how do you know he doesn’t use porn and tell his wife he doesn’t and that he’s fully aware his kids could see it and doesn’t care less , or worse . If he is using porn and chaterbate then his actions have shown that he doesn’t place protecting the children as a priority . If he isn’t then I’m sure he’ll be totally disgusted that they were exposed and fix the problem but statistically it’s MUCH more likely he is the user than his wife Many many men lie about porn use in relationships where they pretend they don’t . Many men sadly don’t protect their children and sadly some even abuse them by allowing access The wife is far more likely to protect the children and if she’s aware of the porn and done with with it then the only outcome is that you have ensured the children are protected .

@Thissucksmonkeynuts

How would a 7 or 8 year old know this is something to laugh at? I hope your sister is aware that cohesion to have sex is a criminal offence?

Because they've watched telly, where nude bums and boobs are frequently used as comedy tropes?

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation at the time that me & a few pp's had raised concerns it hadn't been clarified that it was a cartoon the kids had seen and laughed at

A bare bum and boobs on a cartoon might be funny to a 7year old, I now agree. However, even most mainstream porn these days shows woman being subjected to what would look quite violent and degrading to a 7yr old. It's hardly the same as simply seeing a bare bum.....

This time they saw a cartoon but are next time it might be one of the other 101 tabs. Do you really think it's okay for a 7 yr old girl to be exposed to this? Not to mention the fact it's in her own home, on the computer she uses daily so more likely to be seen as 'acceptable' viewing as she grows up

Just to everyone saying they may be pop ups, Opera functions differently to things like Google Chrome. When you press the X button on Chrome it will close everything down and the tabs will be gone. However when you exit Opera it essentially saves the tabs and then re opens them when you start Opera again. I have no idea why it does this but it sounds like he didn't individually close each video and assumed that closing down Opera would get rid of them.
If I were you I'd mention it for the children's sake.

@WoMandalorian

Just to everyone saying they may be pop ups, Opera functions differently to things like Google Chrome. When you press the X button on Chrome it will close everything down and the tabs will be gone. However when you exit Opera it essentially saves the tabs and then re opens them when you start Opera again. I have no idea why it does this but it sounds like he didn't individually close each video and assumed that closing down Opera would get rid of them. If I were you I'd mention it for the children's sake.

There are settings in most browsers to configure whether they reopen previous session on startup. Just that Opera defaults to do it.

It might have been reopening previous tabs, or it might be that the computer is infected with something that causes it - the description of endless popups sounds more like that. And the infection could have been caused earlier by someone clicking on a dubious link (not necessarily porn, could have been a dodgy link claiming to stream sports or the latest movie).

Also, how do you know that it's the BiL has done, and not your sister who watches porn? Unlikely, but not impossible.

You should definitely have a word with one (or both) of them. Advise them that they need to setup a separate login for the kids and that dad puts a password on his account.

[quote fidgetmad]@EvenMoreFuriousVexation at the time that me & a few pp's had raised concerns it hadn't been clarified that it was a cartoon the kids had seen and laughed at

A bare bum and boobs on a cartoon might be funny to a 7year old, I now agree. However, even most mainstream porn these days shows woman being subjected to what would look quite violent and degrading to a 7yr old. It's hardly the same as simply seeing a bare bum.....

This time they saw a cartoon but are next time it might be one of the other 101 tabs. Do you really think it's okay for a 7 yr old girl to be exposed to this? Not to mention the fact it's in her own home, on the computer she uses daily so more likely to be seen as 'acceptable' viewing as she grows up [/quote]
Oh god I wasnt saying it's okay! Just that a child laughing at nudity is not a significant sign of grooming.

Laughter is a completely normal response to ‘grown ups with no clothes on’ IMO.

@EdgeOfTheSky @EvenMoreFuriousVexation I agree it's a natural reaction to nudity.

Most porn is a lot more hardcore than just nudity!!! Anyway, now we know it was a cartoon it's a different scenario.....

For example, a bare bum or a penis would make my DD laugh 100%.

Seeing a woman giving a man a blow job (for example) while both groaning and the man pulling her hair etc...less so. Or a man shagging a woman without apparently seeming to care about her feelings as if she's a piece of meat (im generalising about most types of porn ive seen) is more likely to concern my DD as I'd imagine that she might think the lady is being hurt, or wonder what they're doing to each other etc .

And nobody had suggested grooming.....I was saying it might no be the first time it had happened.