Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband keeps stealing from me and my kids

146 replies

Smith1987224 · 04/10/2021 14:52

Hi there,
my husband and i have not been married very long about 6 month. I have two kids from a previous marriage. I have been noticing stuff going missing and i came across his profile on facebook marketplace and seen things of mine and my kids that he has taken and sold and is selling. I have asked before not to sell things that he has not asked about and especially stuff that belongs to my kids. He said he wouldnt do it and recently I came across another post where he is selling more of my stuff and not telling me. now before anyone says while married its our stuff, all the stuff that he has taken is stuff i got before we were even together and some of the stuff belongs to my parents which they are letting me use. The stuff that belongs to my kids is theirs. I have no idea where the money is that he gets because i Dont see it. I had to take my stuff back and hide it. He is always going through everything and i am always seeing him coming out of someones room. What advice can someone give me? I have been considering divorce because there are other issues i am having and kicking him out of my house because i pay for it and i am the only one that works ands the lease is in my name.I would like to know your thoughts and how you would feel

OP posts:
Hattie765 · 04/10/2021 15:59

Get rid of him immediately. Sounds like he's putting money together to leave tbh. Whatever he does with it who would want to be with a man who steals from his wife and kids! X

Dontbeme · 04/10/2021 16:00

What is there to think about OP? He is stealing from you, but you decided to marry him and have him in your life. Your DC and your parents didn't make that choice but he is stealing from them too, act to protect your kids today from having this bloke in their home. Contact a solicitor and access your options about annulment or divorce but protect yourself and your family financially.

MatildaIThink · 04/10/2021 16:02

Why have you not already left him!?

lottiegarbanzo · 04/10/2021 16:04

Whaaat? Record evidence. Call police. Kick him out. Divorce.

mam0918 · 04/10/2021 16:06

I have had issue with my DH being a little sticky-fingered with me and it annoys the hell out of me but he's never sold my belonging.

He will just take my bank card whenever he wants (usually for house bills and food shops but they are often the house bills he's supposed to pay after I already paid my half or the food shop will then have his beer and wine wacked onto it) and isn't shy of helping himself to any money he finds 'lying around' but its usually small amounts like fiver or less.

If my husband was selling mine, my parents and my kids things without telling me there would be WW3 in this household - I don't think I could overlook and stay with someone like that.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 04/10/2021 16:08

@mam0918 You shouldn't be overlooking what your dh is doing either.

MrsMose911 · 04/10/2021 16:08

I'd say 'ok you're clearly a lazy lunatic Fagin type weirdo who is randomly stealing from me and my children and I know so it's good bye and get out of my house now'. Don't look back this is awful. Get rid

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 04/10/2021 16:10

He's a thieving loser. Dump him pronto and write off your 6 month marriage as a middle aged folly.

noideawhatusernametochoose · 04/10/2021 16:10

Honestly, I'd report to the Police, and I'd also file for divorce asap. I'd see what you can do about getting him out of the house and changing the locks.

Tal45 · 04/10/2021 16:12

This is not a good person, why would you want him in your life let alone your kids lives?

justthecat · 04/10/2021 16:12

Drugs or gambling addiction either way it’s the same response

Lotusmonster · 04/10/2021 16:13

Drugs? Addiction?

Hoppinggreen · 04/10/2021 16:16

@mam0918

I have had issue with my DH being a little sticky-fingered with me and it annoys the hell out of me but he's never sold my belonging.

He will just take my bank card whenever he wants (usually for house bills and food shops but they are often the house bills he's supposed to pay after I already paid my half or the food shop will then have his beer and wine wacked onto it) and isn't shy of helping himself to any money he finds 'lying around' but its usually small amounts like fiver or less.

If my husband was selling mine, my parents and my kids things without telling me there would be WW3 in this household - I don't think I could overlook and stay with someone like that.

He’s another thief
toolazytothinkofausername · 04/10/2021 16:16

Could he have a hidden addiction?

This is not an excuse. He is a thief and you need to get rid.

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/10/2021 16:17

Report the thefts to the police.
Kick him out.
Get the divorce initiated ASAP.

QueenBee52 · 04/10/2021 16:19

Thieving Bastard... kick him out asap..

ButtonMoonLoon · 04/10/2021 16:19

Goodness me, I’m astonished you’ve let it go on this long. Your poor children! How old are they? Have they noticed things go missing?
As for what to do- in my view- he goes- today. Make sure you have someone with you when you tell him and get the locks changed straight away
Do not let him back into your home and ensure that all your bank/savings accounts/ are secure.
And make sure he doesn’t have access to any electronic devices or car keys.

itsallgoingpearshaped · 04/10/2021 16:21

Kick him out. He's a thief is only there to sponge off of you and steal from you when that's not enough.

Get legal advice asap on getting him out and securing your property. I would also advise you to contact the police about the thefts.

Bounce55 · 04/10/2021 16:23

@mam0918

I have had issue with my DH being a little sticky-fingered with me and it annoys the hell out of me but he's never sold my belonging.

He will just take my bank card whenever he wants (usually for house bills and food shops but they are often the house bills he's supposed to pay after I already paid my half or the food shop will then have his beer and wine wacked onto it) and isn't shy of helping himself to any money he finds 'lying around' but its usually small amounts like fiver or less.

If my husband was selling mine, my parents and my kids things without telling me there would be WW3 in this household - I don't think I could overlook and stay with someone like that.

Stealing is stealing No excuses
RampantIvy · 04/10/2021 16:24

I also thought addiction problems. This is awful. Have you challenged him?

Rannva · 04/10/2021 16:32

He's going to try and take your house. You need very good legal advice.

MrsBobDylan · 04/10/2021 16:36

Good grief. I'm unsure what I can add. Maybe ask your kids if they'd like him gone and take it fro there? Then never date again.

brittleheadgirl · 04/10/2021 16:39

Call the police.
The idiot has no chance of denial as all his stolen property will be searchable on Facebook marketplace.

Leave him today op.

HollowTalk · 04/10/2021 16:40

@mam0918

I have had issue with my DH being a little sticky-fingered with me and it annoys the hell out of me but he's never sold my belonging.

He will just take my bank card whenever he wants (usually for house bills and food shops but they are often the house bills he's supposed to pay after I already paid my half or the food shop will then have his beer and wine wacked onto it) and isn't shy of helping himself to any money he finds 'lying around' but its usually small amounts like fiver or less.

If my husband was selling mine, my parents and my kids things without telling me there would be WW3 in this household - I don't think I could overlook and stay with someone like that.

It's exactly the same thing. Your husband is a thief too. WW3 should start in your house - he is stealing your money. Tbh he sounds awful - it would be like having a burglar in the house.
FluffyWhiteBird · 04/10/2021 16:43

have been considering divorce because there are other issues i am having and kicking him out of my house because i pay for it and i am the only one that works ands the lease is in my name.I would like to know your thoughts and how you would feel

Do it, no question. He doesn't respect you at all.