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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband keeps stealing from me and my kids

146 replies

Smith1987224 · 04/10/2021 14:52

Hi there,
my husband and i have not been married very long about 6 month. I have two kids from a previous marriage. I have been noticing stuff going missing and i came across his profile on facebook marketplace and seen things of mine and my kids that he has taken and sold and is selling. I have asked before not to sell things that he has not asked about and especially stuff that belongs to my kids. He said he wouldnt do it and recently I came across another post where he is selling more of my stuff and not telling me. now before anyone says while married its our stuff, all the stuff that he has taken is stuff i got before we were even together and some of the stuff belongs to my parents which they are letting me use. The stuff that belongs to my kids is theirs. I have no idea where the money is that he gets because i Dont see it. I had to take my stuff back and hide it. He is always going through everything and i am always seeing him coming out of someones room. What advice can someone give me? I have been considering divorce because there are other issues i am having and kicking him out of my house because i pay for it and i am the only one that works ands the lease is in my name.I would like to know your thoughts and how you would feel

OP posts:
2Two · 04/10/2021 15:12

Tell the police, divorce him. None of this is going to improve.

Hoppinggreen · 04/10/2021 15:12

Divorce him and do it quickly as the longer you are married the more claim he could have on things
He’s a thieving scumbag with no job, why the fuck are you inflicting him on your poor kids

ApolloandDaphne · 04/10/2021 15:13

You need to leave him ASAP. Kick him out. How long did you know him before you married him?

inmyslippers · 04/10/2021 15:14

He's finding something unsavoury. Protect yourself and kids by leaving

romdowa · 04/10/2021 15:14

Have your locks changed this evening and get him out of your house and your lives. I'd also file a police report about the thefts

Dery · 04/10/2021 15:24

"I have been considering divorce because there are other issues i am having and kicking him out of my house because i pay for it and i am the only one that works ands the lease is in my name.I would like to know your thoughts and how you would feel"

@Smith1987224 - as you will have seen, the only natural and healthy response to this behaviour is to end the marriage and kick this man out. As some PP have said - it sounds like he's funding some kind of unsavoury habit such as drugs or gambling. You've only been married 6 months which is good because it means he will have very little (if any) claim on your assets. He doesn't work so it sounds like he's already living off you - you haven't explained why he's not working but from your summary it doesn't seem like he's a SAHP, not in any meaningful sense of the word in any case.

In a way, it's sad you even feel you have to ask what people would do in your shoes especially when you say there are other issues in addition to him stealing and selling things belonging to you, your children and your parents. It suggests to me that he has already got you considerably ground down, inclined to put his needs ahead of yours and your children's and untrusting of your instincts.

The behaviour you describe sounds so abusive and predatory that I think he might be quite dangerous if you try to confront him alone. After all, he's clearly been on to a very good thing with you and he's probably going to fight to keep it. Do you have friends and/or family near who could come round and help you get him out? It may well be worth involving the police also.

Sorry you're going through this, OP. It sounds awful.

TrollsAreSaddos · 04/10/2021 15:30

That’s really strange behavior. What does he say when you speak to him about it?

Longdistance · 04/10/2021 15:37

His behaviour is despicable. If you’ve only been married 6 months it should be fairly easy to get rid of him if the house is yours.
If you Chuck him out you’ll have to watch what he takes with him as I’m sure if it’s not nailed down it’ll have legs.
Get a solicitor ASAP.

Mydogisagentleman · 04/10/2021 15:37

Your poor children.
Get rid of him ASAP

Budapestdreams · 04/10/2021 15:38

That's horrendous. I agree you should end it. He can't be trusted and that is no basis for a relationship.

AdmiralCain · 04/10/2021 15:38

probably has a mountain of debt he's hiding.

JuneOsborne · 04/10/2021 15:41

Whaaaaat?

Not normal, not ok.

In fact it is one of the strangest things I've ever read on here. He clearly needs the money (I mean, who wouldn't if they don't work) but it'd be more usual to get a job to pay for fags/clothes/whatever.

What does he say about it when you ask him about it?

Smashingspinster · 04/10/2021 15:44

Get him out of the house asap. Lock up stuff you dont want taken. He is using the money for something bad, you dont need to be around it.

Notmoresugar · 04/10/2021 15:45

This is so wrong on so many levels.
What sort of man (scumbag) sells children's possessions?? Let alone yours!
You need to get him out of your lives and quickly.

Bounce55 · 04/10/2021 15:46

Take screenshots as proof
Kick him out
Change the locks
Divorce him

DowntonCrabby · 04/10/2021 15:48

Divorce him. He’s a thief, a liar and basically just a grade A dick.

ChargingBuck · 04/10/2021 15:49

I have been considering divorce because there are other issues i am having and kicking him out of my house because i pay for it and i am the only one that works ands the lease is in my name.

When you say "considering", I hope what you mean is "ringing a couple of burly mates to throw the fucker out, then seeing a solicitor about a divorce tomorrow latest"?

always2tired · 04/10/2021 15:50

I pray this isn't a real post. If it is please Divorce him now!

speakout · 04/10/2021 15:50

I am amazed you started this thread OP- is this for real?
Do you even have to ask if this is OK?

Slub · 04/10/2021 15:52

This can't be real? Why would you even have to ask MN about this?

HollowTalk · 04/10/2021 15:54

WTF? Kick him out, report him to the police and say exactly what's happening in feedback on his sales sites.

sillysmiles · 04/10/2021 15:55

My guess is gambling debts.

Only 6 months into the marriage and you can't trust him. I think this is my first LTB. He's stealing from your and your kids and your not seeing the money. He's not providing financially into the relationship.

He's using you.

Regardless if his feelings for you or your feelings for him. He's using you. He needs to go before trouble lands away your door.

Gonnagetgoing · 04/10/2021 15:55

Get rid of him ASAP and divorce. I can't see why you'd want him in your lives (with any associated issues maybe) more than is necessary.

southeastlady · 04/10/2021 15:58

What the hell?

Absolutely get shot of him (and I dont usually say that) in the meantime I'd be following him every time he went in my kids room to see what he was taking and tell him to put it the f**k back

SaltySheepdog · 04/10/2021 15:58

What items is he selling?

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