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Original poster

Wanking - cheating?

74 replies

Onlylovecansetyoufree · 02/10/2021 11:30

I have a friend who has an arrangement with a MM (she is also married) where they send photos to each other to wank over. She says this isn't cheating. All our friends say it is. What do you all think?

Thanks.

OP posts:
userxx · 02/10/2021 11:31

It's nasty. End of.

GsSar · 02/10/2021 11:32

It's a break of trust and I'm sure she wouldn't feel the same way about it if her husband was doing it

irregularegular · 02/10/2021 11:32

Seriously!!?

Well if their partners are happy with it then I guess it is fine....

Oh? Do they not know?

Ughmaybenot · 02/10/2021 11:33

Besides anything else, it’s grim as fuck. But yes, I would consider that cheating.

LawnFever · 02/10/2021 11:33

If my DH was doing this with another woman I’d be disgusted, yes it’s cheating on a level.

Wherearemymarbles · 02/10/2021 11:33

Well, ask her if she’d tell her husband about it…
and how she’d feel if he was doing the same!!

Its cheating as its personal unlike looking at porn

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 02/10/2021 11:34

Wanking isn't cheating

But sending someone who isn't your partner pictures of your bare orifices certainly is.

PlanDeRaccordement · 02/10/2021 11:35

It’s not cheating.
But it’s not something I would be comfortable with, so I would ask my partner to stop if he were doing this.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/10/2021 11:37

Wanking over an image of a naked person is not cheating.

Sending a naked photo of yourself to a person outside of the marriage for them to wank over is cheating

Imo.

Mumoblue · 02/10/2021 11:37

Yeah, that’s cheating.
Do their spouses know? If they’re so sure it’s not cheating, then they would let them know.

Original poster
Onlylovecansetyoufree · 02/10/2021 11:37

Thanks for the thoughts. Bare orifices made me gag/snort!

OP posts:
PicaK · 02/10/2021 11:37

It's cheating because their partners don't know.
It's an emotional connection with someone else that should be only with their partner (unless discussed otherwise).
They dont have the right to change the goalposts on their partner.
It might be useful to suggest your friend reads this website. It's clear and very plain speaking about why adultery is wrong but has empathy.
www.emotionalaffair.org/

UndeadSlut · 02/10/2021 11:38

Of course it is! She's justifying it to herself and others because there is no physical contact, but it's sure as hell cheating.

Usual disclaimer applies - unless her spouse and the man's spouse know about it of course, in which case it isn't. But I imagine you would have included this detail if that were the case.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 02/10/2021 11:38

@PlanDeRaccordement

It’s not cheating. But it’s not something I would be comfortable with, so I would ask my partner to stop if he were doing this.
You sound so polite.

'Simon, could you pick up a pint of milk and some teabags. And I hate to be a nag, but would you mind not sending Jennifer from Zumba any more dick pics. Thanks, darling'.

PlanDeRaccordement · 02/10/2021 11:40

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches
Thank you. I do try. :)

BrendaBubbles · 02/10/2021 11:44

Where do you draw the line? If you sent someone clothed pictures of yourself to wank over would that be cheating or not?

AuntieStella · 02/10/2021 11:46

It's what the other spouse thinks that matters

If they knew and re OK with it, then it isn't cheating

If they're keeping it secret, then they already know it's cheating, don't they?

knittingaddict · 02/10/2021 11:53

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Wanking over an image of a naked person is not cheating.

Sending a naked photo of yourself to a person outside of the marriage for them to wank over is cheating

Imo.

Agree with this and all the others saying similar.
SleepingBunnies21 · 02/10/2021 12:01

She says this isn't cheating.

Dies her husband agree?
What about his wife?

If they haven't asked them, why not .. I mean it's it's cheating so it should be fine to talk about.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/10/2021 12:05

I think she's a wanker. And a cheat.

Simon, could you pick up a pint of milk and some teabags. And I hate to be a nag, but would you mind not sending Jennifer from Zumba any more dick pics. Thanks, darling

Grin
youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/10/2021 12:05

@SleepingBunnies21

She says this isn't cheating.

Dies her husband agree?
What about his wife?

If they haven't asked them, why not .. I mean it's it's cheating so it should be fine to talk about.

This!
Namenic · 02/10/2021 12:09

I would count it as cheating if it happened to me. Less bad than extra marital sex and putting me at risk of std’s - but yes, would definitely consider splitting up.

MyCatIsAFuckwit · 02/10/2021 12:17

"sending someone who isn't your partner pictures of your bare orifices certainly is"
😂 This made me belly laugh!
I agree btw.

StarlightLady · 02/10/2021 12:32

Asking for a friend???

Closetbeanmuncher · 02/10/2021 12:34

If it's not cheating then why hide it from the respective spouses?

The internet is full to the brim of porn but that doesn't stroke their eternally thirsty egos I guess.