So this just happened..

[SleepyHead4]

My OH has been off with me for a few weeks. I kept asking if everything was OK only to be met with everything is fine, I'm fine. So I leave it at that.

He phones me this morning.. Ive had enough, I'm thinking about calling it a day. Me and you, its hard work. So I ask why. His response was, you're too clingy and needy. You don't leave me alone for 5 minutes always wanting kisses and cuddles.
I will say this, yes I like kisses and cuddles but its not constant in the way he says. This is how we've always been, just recently it seems to bug him.

We had a good weekend, I say this to him. He says he was putting on a show because his kids were here. He's not been happy for a long time. This is the same guy who asked me to marry him 2 months ago. And the same guy who always wants me with him for reasons only he knows. Is that not him being clingy and needy?

I suggest going to stay with a friend for a few days have a bit of breathing space but he doesn't want that. He doesn't want to end our relationship either so he says. He just wants me to chill with the cuddles.

All this over a phonecall then 5 minutes later by text.. I love you sooooo much and about 16 hearts.
Mixed messages or what?

I did want to leave after that phonecall, to walk away and never look back. We've spoken since and he doesn't want to lose me, his words, he loves me to bits.

Talk about playing with a girls feelings. My heads a fucking shed now. Basically from that conversation I got, chill out or I'll end it.

He doesn't tell me what's bothering him when it actually happens, he let's things build and build until he blows up. All I've ever done is love this man.

@Dery

"Also op 'love unconditionally' love should always have conditions. One of which is that they treat you with respect, kindness and another is that they don't cheat and a third us that they aren't mindfucking abusive pieces of shit."

This. Your reference to loving him unconditionally leapt out at me, too. Perhaps it was just a turn of phrase. But unconditional love is what we should have for our children, not other adults.

Oh dear god please don’t love unconditionally - except yourself. Not him. You have t got boundaries. My ex did this - I’m not sure, you need to change x, I changed x, you aren’t happy today did you really want to change x if you changed x without a song in your heart and a smile on your face I don’t want it - but I’ve changed x I’ve done it - but it wasn’t good enough. So I’d end it and then he’d done and be poor me - I’d end up emotionally supporting him whilst shot to pieces - and the tank of my self worth got lower and lower and lower and no one was filling it up. Then boom one day I realise he is doing exactly what he wants, having the sex he wants, doing the job he wants, doing the boys nights he wants meanwhile I’m totally head fucked and a quivering wreck wearing what he wants an doing what he wants and stroking his ego.

For fucks sake we are all telling you. He is a total controlling arse. Do not believe a word he says. He doesn’t love you. He’s not worthy he’s not acceptable as a partner - finish it and cut it off. Just say ‘this isn’t working for me’ wash and repeat. Go to hr at the first issue and always love yourself and put yourself first. Love is an emotion and not hard facts.

A murderer can say ‘ I love you I'm sorry’ as they beat you to a pulp it doesn’t mean the same as love that you have. This man is an entitled fuck wit who need to drop like a stone because he will drown you

Yep I agree, he's controlling, suffocating and deeply insecure. I don't think there's anyone else, just that he didn't like you being away from him (on a hospital appointment wtf!!), so created a drama to mess with your head. He may well have created this subconsciously, but he clearly has a need to control you. I would end it as he'll only get more controlling.I imagine he will be hard to get rid of unfortunately.

Be very, very careful with this one, Sleepy. Keep in mind that he may be a very good liar and actor. Keep your boundaries high. If something doesn't feel right to you, don't back down just to keep the peace or make him react the right way.

Listen to your instinct.

I think it would be a really smart idea for you to have a long weekend away from one another. No contact at all for three or four days - longer if possible. You are struggling to see what is clear to people looking in from the outside: that this man is controlling and manipulative and you have lost yourself in your relationship with him.

Take a few days away from him. See how you feel with a bit of distance and perspective. See if he allows you to take time away from him. It sounds like he has you on a very short leash right now, but if he genuinely loves you, he will understand you're your own person and you need space. So give it a go, and see what happens.

OP,

I agree with above.

He is playing you like a fiddle.

He is a headfxxk.

If you accept this and move on, I can guantee you that this WILL hapoen again, maybe a bit different, but this messing with your head is who he is.

You stay with him and allow him to treat you like this, you are signing up to be emotionally abused.

So you remember that.
You have been told clearly, he is NOT a good man and if you stay, you are green lighting him to mess you around and emotionally abuse you.

You will bitterly regret your decision to waste further time with him.

You don't know him AT ALL.

His nastiness is WHO HE IS.

Ignore it at your peril.

Please leave him. He is so controlling. He wants you with him all the time, he's smothering you the past couple of days, yet he complains that you are the one who is too clingy. He'd make me want to vomit tbh. I really hope you don't own a house together.

Wow OP serious red flags here!!! My only suggestion here is run for the hills & dong look back!!

Echoing what others have said, this has vibes of manipulation about it and I think I would be wary of this man going forward.

What do YOU want OP? He seems to be dictating things.... you need to decide what you want. Don't ever change for someone else.

He's now not allowing you any personal space to think for yourself he's panicking he's lost his punch bag

He will do it again, once your back in your box nice and safe