I’m out tonight for a friend’s birthday in Manchester (30 min train journey from where I live). My bf of six months was invited but declined, saying he didn’t really have enough money - money has been tight for us both this month as we were away last weekend to celebrate my mum’s 60th and we booked a last minute break to go away next week. That was fine with me - I’m pretty independent and happy to go alone and I appreciate that last weekend was probably a lot for him.
Bf has social anxiety which he has been open about with me from the beginning. I never put any pressure on him to come to events with me, although he does more often than not. He did really well at my mum’s 60th last weekend, chatting to people and socialising - you’d never have known he had an issue with it. He did tell me he found it tiring though.
Anyway, this morning we were in bed and he was messaging his friend about coming over this weekend evening. He showed me a message the friend sent about not being able to get petrol and earlier up the chat bf suggested getting a takeaway tonight.
So he can afford a takeaway this evening but not a train ticket to Manchester (max £15) and a couple of drinks (which would be non alcoholic as he doesn’t really drink and therefore not expensive?)
I have no problem with him not wanting to come with me this evening, I just wish he’d been honest and not used money as an excuse. I pulled him up on it and he said the friend would be buying the takeaway but I think he has just said that to appease me.
AIBU to be upset that he lied about the reason he wasnt able to come with me? Honesty and transparency is important to me in a relationship and I feel he has violated that a bit really.