I ruined her day

[Tanya4444]

I’m feeling like a shitty Mum.

I took my daughter to her new uni town today. Dropped her off at her new accommodation and helped her unpack. I’d been dreading it for weeks but had put on a brave face because I didn’t want to upset her. She’s been so excited.

Today was a day I should have been making her feel that I was happy and proud of her, celebrating her success and leaving her feeling secure and confident. Instead, I was a blubbering wreck. I was crying uncontrollably. I was so bloody emotional that she started crying too,

I needed to leave and she was just sobbing in her bed, alone in her new halls of residence, not knowing a soul.

I turned the whole day into a negative shit show and I hate myself for it. I really tried to hold it together but couldn’t.

I’m going to miss her so much and I’m so sad she’s gone but I’m proud of her and happy she’s making her way in the world.

I just wish I hadn’t behaved like that today :(

OP you are a person as well as a mum, and people have emotions. You acted genuinely and authentically in a situation that was sad for you. Your DD is a young woman now and quite old enough to see the real you rather than a brave face you put on for her. You were honest and sincere with her and she knows how much you love and will miss her, and that's just fine.

Last time for me was 10 years ago - dropped last DC off at uni - helped unpack - did a start up food shop then went out for lunch - said our goodbyes n drove home - few sniffs but no tears
That evening I’d arranged to go n see an old friend - half way to her house I started crying - had to pull over in a lay-by - thought I’d never stop bawling - empty nest syndrome
Eventually arrived at DF house - she hugged me - plied me with brandy and consoled me as much as was possible!
It was my own rite of passage - didn’t tell DS until loads later - just rang occasionally - sent food parcels and was there if needed

Oh OP, don't be too hard on yourself. At least she knows you cared. You were being truthful really about your emotions and no shame in that. In a way, it's a gift she'll never forget, that you are going to miss her. When I dropped off my son at uni a few years ago, I spent the whole evening in floods of tears and rang him up crying! I felt foolish afterwards but although he was a bit bewildered I think he also registered the depth of feeling. You'll look back in years to come and smile at the memory. Hope your daughter has a fantastic experience!