He's arranged to meet his ex tomorrow

[OvariesDeep]

I'm absolutely fuming. My husband mumbled something about a job tomorrow morning and was umming and arring about it and I just thought, yep, he's going round the OW house - the one I thought he had dumped 3 years ago. I just have that feeling, you know, when things just don't add up. He was avoiding eye contact and just being shady. I just flaming well know, it's a sixth sense. I am house bound tomorrow as car is knackered, so he knows he can do whatever he likes. I'm buggered if I'm getting the kids on the bus to check if his car is there or not. I just know he is going there. Things just don't add up. He's being shady and now he knows I'm stuck in with the kids, he immediately picked up and is being his jolly fucking self.

I am so bloody upset. Talk me down!!

Help Doing what? You going to follow his car?take a photo without permission? Hang about at someone domestic address, observe the coming and going’s? What are you actually going to do? If you help Are you going to tell anyone or just charge off fired up by a strangers post? What if the husband or the ow get confrontational?what will you do.

You ok OP? @OvariesDeep

I’m also South West London, DM me if you need help.

Same question
Help Doing what? You going to follow his car?take a photo without permission? Hang about at someone domestic address, observe the coming and going’s? What are you actually going to do? If you help Are you going to tell anyone or just charge off fired up by a strangers post? What if the husband or the ow get confrontational?what will you do.

The problem that even if he was doing something dodgy it could be somewhere else or with someone else.

Get in a taxi, if you need to know. They’ll have done this before. I’ve got a taxi past my own house before to check I’d closed the front door.

You’ll see it with your own eyes, or you won’t.

The problem will be that if he’s not there, you won’t know that he was never there, or that they’re not together but out…

And if he’s the type of person to do this, when you present him with the photo, he isn’t going to collapse and agree you’ve caught him out. He’ll either make up an excuse - he popped round, you’re crazy, or he’ll get nasty.

There’s no love lost here. Having kids isn’t a reason to stay - plenty of families break up with kids. It might be that you aren’t willing to make the compromises needed to leave, and that’s your call, but in that case, you’d be better to forget this and put it out of your mind as something you know about but condone as it’s better than the alternative for you - for your own mental health.

If you feel you can't choose to end the relationship without proof then you should hire a private investigator.
It's such a bad idea to get internet randoms to drive by this house.
Also, for all we know, you're the ow/a stalker/a bitter ex and this is harassment haha look I've got someone following you...
Or you give out info to an internet random and they turn out to be a bloody nutter!

@EspressoDoubleShot

Same question Help Doing what? You going to follow his car?take a photo without permission? Hang about at someone domestic address, observe the coming and going’s? What are you actually going to do? If you help Are you going to tell anyone or just charge off fired up by a strangers post? What if the husband or the ow get confrontational?what will you do.

You’re starting to sound really boring now

I'm ok. He came back so I'll have to wait for now x

Can you take a look at his phone?

If he has an iPhone you can look at it for frequent locations. If has dates and times and duration of vista at places you visit.. love it.

The “Frequent Locations” feature is located under Settings > Privacy > Location Services > System Services (located at the bottom) > Frequent Locations. Once you tap on that feature, you will see all of the recent places you visited, including the streets, cities and states.

I’m genuinely interested in what help strangers will offer op on her dysfunctional marriage? Help…as in what? Actual intervention In person? Go and gather collateral?Follow a man you don’t know..
It’s absolutely bonkers (not to mention unsafe) and it sure does warrant further exploration. I await an answer actually
This misplaced notion of trying to saving someone or getting involved is really inappropriate. Misplaced at least potentially dangerous at most. It’s all a bit saviour complex.

@OvariesDeep

He's gone. No time to put a phone in his car. But I do have his laptop. Can I do anything with this?

Usually apart from reading emails ect, I'd say it's possible, but I'm no expert

What’s the point in staying in a relationship like this. Honestly