He's arranged to meet his ex tomorrow

[OvariesDeep]

I'm absolutely fuming. My husband mumbled something about a job tomorrow morning and was umming and arring about it and I just thought, yep, he's going round the OW house - the one I thought he had dumped 3 years ago. I just have that feeling, you know, when things just don't add up. He was avoiding eye contact and just being shady. I just flaming well know, it's a sixth sense. I am house bound tomorrow as car is knackered, so he knows he can do whatever he likes. I'm buggered if I'm getting the kids on the bus to check if his car is there or not. I just know he is going there. Things just don't add up. He's being shady and now he knows I'm stuck in with the kids, he immediately picked up and is being his jolly fucking self.

I am so bloody upset. Talk me down!!

I had a friend that felt like you do. She hired a private investigator and got pictures. She maintains it was the best £160she ever spent. Could you afford it ?

Agree with what @Miliao said.

You can buy a tracker on Amazon for less than 50quid -okay not for tomorrow

You sound quite paranoid about this. why can't you ask him where he is going, You will be able to tell if he is lying about something or other. Do you have some reasons to not trust your Husband ?

Erm and if he’s not there, he may be somewhere else, with her or with someone else? Offer to drop him off, tell him you need the car.

Or just leave him as you can’t trust him.

Many people are so skilled at lying it's impossible to tell. But you say you can tell. It's a shame you no longer trust your own judgement screaming at you not to trust him. Personally I think you would not be feeling like this after three years on if he'd done all the work necessary to help you heal from betrayal trauma. This means he is just a shit, plain and simple. So you'll be better off without him anyway!

Thank you. Everyone. I need to know for my own peace of mind. So he can't duck and dive anymore and make me feel like I am losing my mind. I could let it go but why shouldn't I know???

just jump in an Uber 🎉

If you have a tracker on your phone, turn off all notifications, switch it to silent and hide it somewhere in the car/ boot , under the carpet on the passengers seat is a good place. Then you can check when he gets home to see where he’s been. Not need for Uber or taxi.
Your gut is rarely wrong, you just know when things don’t add up. Trust yourself, he’s had an affair so you absolutely can’t trust him.

Pack his bags and leave them by the door for on his way out.

I hope you get an uber, but i do second whats been said above - you dont need proof, you can just leave and have a nice life with someone you trust.

Put 'find my iPhone' on his phone (if he's got an iPhone)

Taxi

Ask a friend

@OvariesDeep

I will know it's all in my head

No you won't. You'll just think they must have gone out somewhere so you'll have to try again another time, then another, then another. Trust me this won't help your mental health. Either go with your hunch and end it anyway because with or without proof you still don't trust him and you're still not happy, or find another way to get proof.

I was going to say what another poster suggested, but your phone on silent and vibrations off and hide it in the car and then track your phone.

Proof or not, you can't live with this.
He might just be going to the shop to buy bananas but the trust is gone so you will be like this every time he leaves the house.
Have a think about throwing away your life on this man x

He's gone. No time to put a phone in his car. But I do have his laptop. Can I do anything with this?

What sort of job did he say he was doing? Is it even feasible that he is telling the truth? The fact you discount it so readily suggests your relationship is already a mess and you don’t need evidence.

So if you do get a taxi, send someone on a drive by and he’s not there, what happens next?

How far away is the ow house from yours?

If he has an iphone you might be able to log into his icloud and find his phone that way.

Do you know anyone who lives near who can take the photo for you ?

From watching Catfish (yeah I know) there's an app that allows you to send a link to the other person. When they open it, it gives their location. I have no idea what the app is but sure you could Google it.
Or get someone to sit with your kids (please don't drag them into this) and get yourself a taxi/uber and go and see for yourself?
If he has Google and you know his password you may be able to see from there providing he has his location finder switched on.
Don't sit and stew all day.
You sound totally miserable in your marriage. Why stay? Its not healthy for you and definitely not healthy for your children.
Good luck 💐

I'd be jumping in a taxi if I had to!

Is he the kind of person who would send you a selfie? Or a photo of something? You can check the location of the photo. Is he on Snapchat? You can get someone's location on that. Find my iPhone, if he's got it on his phone.... if his laptop and iPhone are linked by way of Apple ID you could find out where his phone is, but you'd have to know his login details if it isn't an auto login.

But, this aside, it's over. He isn't trustworthy and you know he isn't

@OvariesDeep I'm in SW London and would help

I think even if you did look and his car was not there - the anxiety of him being unfaithful again would be.

You say you can't split, why not?