He's arranged to meet his ex tomorrow

[OvariesDeep]

I'm absolutely fuming. My husband mumbled something about a job tomorrow morning and was umming and arring about it and I just thought, yep, he's going round the OW house - the one I thought he had dumped 3 years ago. I just have that feeling, you know, when things just don't add up. He was avoiding eye contact and just being shady. I just flaming well know, it's a sixth sense. I am house bound tomorrow as car is knackered, so he knows he can do whatever he likes. I'm buggered if I'm getting the kids on the bus to check if his car is there or not. I just know he is going there. Things just don't add up. He's being shady and now he knows I'm stuck in with the kids, he immediately picked up and is being his jolly fucking self.

I am so bloody upset. Talk me down!!

@wotsittoes

Because it would be nice to catch the bastard out and give her the strength to get shot of him *@Miliao*

Yes!!! I need proof. Definitely need proof. I need to know my radar is correct and I'm being gaslighted. If you have ever been gaslighted, you need to know for your sanity.

I knew I could rely on my mumsnetters
I'm paranoid someone will know me though but I'm south west.

Of london

If anyone wants to DM me.

Damn. I was hoping you would say the Midlands!

But good luck, I hope this works x

I do not want a lift.!!!@EspressoDoubleShot

Thank you @samwitwicky

Op be honest though what will you do if you arrange someone to go and he is not there? You can't live like this.

I know...

I will know it's all in my head

He must know you're suspicious? Would he really be dumb enough to park his car on the mistress's driveway? Would be very easy to hide it round the corner somewhere. If you're going to snoop on him better to check if his car is where he says he is going to.

Keep it up ladies, at this rate private investigators will be out of buisness.

Love it

I hope you get the outcome that's best for you op. It's a horrible place to be.

I’m commenting on the naïveté and risk of a bunch of mn strangers potentially getting involved in your dysfunctional marriage .suggesting going to the location,offering lifts,,drive by Etc. It’s all a bit daft

And frankly you need to ask, what is someone you don’t know from mn getting out of being over involved in a strangers marriage

Anyway your actual options are
1.You get RL support from friend/family try surreptitiously catch him out

1. You don’t go to the ow location but try gather other information or evidence to substantiate your belief

I'll have to wait. There will be another chance. I can bank on it..

I just can't shrug off my hunch

wow... Im invested 😳

Does he have sat nav in the car or find my phone on his mobile ?

@OvariesDeep

I can't ask a friend. I'm too embarrassed

Then you need a new friend!

Take the kids in a taxi, ask the driver to wait while you knock the door, drop the kids off and go home.

I’m south west OP near Bath if that’s any good let me know 😂

Sorry.. being a bit thick here. he's going to another woman's house and he has lied to you, so you know exactly why he is there and you just need to know so you can show him proof? HIM?

You need to pack his stuff in bags and change the locks. You don't need to show him anything.

Why didn’t you leave 3 years ago when he had an affair?

It's telling that you refer to this woman as "his ex", as if it had been a valid, legitimate relationship rather than an abject betrayal of his primary relationship, with the mother of his children.

Dear OP, YOU should be "his ex". I hope you can make it so.

Accept it and stop moaning or don’t and change your circumstances or recognise by being there you are part of the problem which brings you right back to the beginning again

Only three options. Accept, leave, or rinse at repeat at his will

I don't quite get it - his ex relationship or someone he had an affair with?

Can you put your mobile in his car, put it on silent and track it on your laptop?

Tbh, I’d put the mobile on silent, start the voice recording function and put it under the seat as well.