@AttilaTheMeerkat
How can you be helped into leaving your abuser?.
You and he now need to be apart. This relationship is untenable and he will never give you an equal say in this relationship. Using the children too is something these men also try and do against their chosen target. He shouting in front of them is unacceptable. Such abusive men never apologise nor accept any real responsibility for their actions and always blame others, in this case you, for their own failings. I would think as well OP that if you were to look at his parents, it could well be one or both of them act like this too.
I'm afraid I agree with this. The fact that his poor behaviour is frequent and becoming increasingly aggressive, especially now in front of your children, means you now need to consider whether continuing in your relationship with such an angry, unfair person is the right thing to do.
You may wrack your brains trying to work out why he's doing this but I doubt you will get much of an answer. Perhaps he just doesn't care, because, if he did, he'd do something positive about his behaviour wound he? He does, after all, have your example as an empathetic person right in front of him as well as, hopefully, examples of good behaviour of people outside your household.
I hope you are looking at ways to live without him. Do your research on how you'd survive without such a poor example of a husband and father in your home, both for you and your children. Review your current finances (including joint savings/pensions) and, if necessary, where you can improve them. What benefits would you be eligible for if you left?
Speak to a solicitor to get the facts on what you'd be entitled to if you ever contemplated divorce. Do NOT tell him you are doing this - this is for you to "get your ducks in a row" should you decide your situation is no longer bearable.
I do believe that if you have a framework of facts in your mind you may be more confident of your current and future life.
Good luck, @twoandeights. 🌹