How to Make Ex Miss You When You Have a Child Together?

[TrulyRegion]

Myself and girlfriend of 8 years split 7 days ago. We have a 2 year old daughter who I can see several evenings a week and at the weekend. I'm willing to see my daughter at every possible chance, I would see her everyday if I could. Problem is that my ex broke up with me, I want her back and I now understand my flaws and why we didn't work out. She wants space and I haven't given it to her in these first 7 days since we broke up. I was hurt, not thinking clearly, couldn't control emotions. I am now seeing the light and feel good about myself. I am initiating no contact, other than to arrange to see my daughter.

Problem is when I am seeing my daughter in the evenings, my ex will be in the living room nextdoor and be able to see my playing with her all the time. I've always been a good dad to her, love playing with her & helping out.

What else can I do? I want to see if she will miss me and change her mind as she is also confused. Talking didn't work. She needs space. I have had a nice fresh hairstyle, got some expensive perfume and I look the best I ever have! I'm confident I won't get upset anymore or try to talk to her about us. It's only been 7 days but every time I walked into the house and saw my daughter I would break down. That's just the raw emotion, I'm over it now.

Are there any other tips or things I can do? As I say, she will see me and my daughter happily playing together several times a week. Me & her don't have to speak, but she can't avoid seeing this.

Doesn’t sound like you’re doing any parenting at all. Focus on that, rather than trying to force your way into the life of a woman who doesn’t want you.

Problem is that my ex broke up with me, I want her back and I now understand my flaws and why we didn't work out. She wants space and I haven't given it to her in these first 7 days since we broke up. I was hurt, not thinking clearly, couldn't control emotions. I am now seeing the light

None of what you’ve said suggests you understand or have ‘seen the light’.

Respect her wishes & give a toss about her for starters.

@FlumpsAreShit

Are you a woman OP? I only ask because a lot of the posters seem to have assumed you're a man and I'm wondering if the advice would be different, or take a different tone.

I’ve never met a woman who would think playing with her child a few evenings a week would qualify her as a ‘good mum.’ I’ve also never heard a mum say ‘eh, need to help out with the kids tonight.’

I’ve never heard a woman suggest that a new hairstyle and perfume would fix a broken relationship.

And I’ve never heard a woman say she has seen the light and was feeling good about herself less than a week after the father of her children broke up with her.

@FlumpsAreShit everyone has assumed the OP is a man because he describes himself as a “ good dad”.

But there’s always someone who tried to derail a threads with “ you wouldn’t say that if it was a woman. It’s tedious.

I’m pretty sure the OP wants advice about his own situation and not a theoretical discussion about the roles of men and women in western democracies.

@Goldbar

Part of the problem is that a lot of men don't realise that most women really are done at the point at which they end a relationship.

Especially where there is a child involved, ime women don't tend to break up their relationships lightly. They've generally asked for help, pleaded for change, shouted, argued, begged, cried and then gradually distanced themselves as it became apparent that their partner really didn't care. Then they switch off emotionally and plan their exit strategy. If this was the case for your partner, then I'm afraid your relationship was dead in the water long before she asked you to leave. You just didn't care enough about her and what she was feeling to notice.

Absolutely this