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Original poster

Is he making excuses?

54 replies

emmerfail · 10/09/2021 19:17

I have been with my BF for 3 years.
We both have kids with previous partners and don't live together.
It's my best friends wedding tomorrow.
He's known for a year.
I reminded him two months ago to get a babysitter for his kids (12 and 7)
Yesterday he said he can't come as his mum and dad are going camping so no sitter.

My friend said his kids are welcome.
I text him and he replied they are at footy training at 9 tomorrow...so it would be too much of a rush.

He just doesn't want to come does he?
1.he would have organised a sitter or swapped days with his ex
2.he could easily let his kids miss football for 1 week

What do you think ?

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 10/09/2021 19:18

No, he's planned to be unavailable all along. Sorry.

Blackkbird · 10/09/2021 19:25

Sounds like he doesn't want to go but didn't want to be hassled for saying so.

frozendaisy · 10/09/2021 19:29

Oh just go and have a fabulous time without the hassle of your boyfriend and his kids in tow.

You can have a champagne before the wedding breakfast, be a social butterfly and when he texts at 7pm saying "hey babe how's the wedding" you won't respond because you won't hear your phone in your bag over the disco music.

It's your best friend's wedding, who's paying for the fizz? They are your only concern for the next 36 hours.

Enjoy it all.
His loss (really his loss).

Look amazing.

Show him the photos if you must next weekend let him imagine.

LastGirlSanding · 10/09/2021 19:31

Doesn’t want to go. I’ve found some men get really weird about attending weddings with their girlfriend..almost like it means they are making some extra commitment.

I assume since you’ve been together three years he knows your best friend? Does he get on with them?

spotcheck · 10/09/2021 19:31

Agree with @frozendaisy

Go, have a marvelous time.
Stay over, if you can ( even if it's the same town, can you late book a close hotel room?)

Don't answer texts until at least Sunday early afternoon.

Have fun!

Glitterb · 10/09/2021 19:35

@frozendaisy amazing advice, love it!

Notapheasantplucker · 10/09/2021 19:39

Definitely making excuses.

Original poster
emmerfail · 10/09/2021 20:01

It's literally the church in the same village as we live.
5 mins walk from his house.
10 mins walk from mine.
Deffo don't need a hotel but will look good and not text him all night.
Seems like such a weak excuse.
He could come to the reception with kids after...but says he can't as kids won't settle or enjoy it

OP posts:
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 10/09/2021 20:09

What a fucking misery guts he is.

Go, and make sure you look fabulous.

Blackkbird · 10/09/2021 20:29

It sounds like he just doesn't want to go.

FinallyHere · 10/09/2021 20:34

Have a great time @emmerfail

frozendaisy · 10/09/2021 21:01

Found out who's paying for the fizz yet Emma? Grin

Original poster
emmerfail · 10/09/2021 21:02

I think we have to pay for our own drinks except for 1 Prosecco on arrival Grin

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 10/09/2021 21:04

Sounds like the party of the village this weekend and he doesn't want to go. Ho hum.

Well you tried. Time to focus on best friend instead for weekend (assuming best friend is bride but could be groom of course).

frozendaisy · 10/09/2021 21:04

Smuggle chilled fizz in....... shouldn't be too hard not that far from your fridge

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 10/09/2021 21:05

Sod him. Go and have a great time. Dance your socks off.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 10/09/2021 21:10

Of course he doesn't want to go. It's a wedding. Who the fuck enjoys weddings?!

frozendaisy · 10/09/2021 21:13

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

Of course he doesn't want to go. It's a wedding. Who the fuck enjoys weddings?!
Everyone who came to ours......

Or it's a party after the miserable 18 months most of us have had, who wants to stay in AGAIN?

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 10/09/2021 21:14

Does he ever make plans for you to be out together as a couple?

Original poster
emmerfail · 10/09/2021 21:55

We go out to the pub every fortnight or maybe a meal but that's it.
He has said he doesn't think we will ever move in together as he couldn't cope with 4 kids (2 each ) under 1 roof

OP posts:
Original poster
emmerfail · 11/09/2021 09:06

He's text this morning saying they are going to a nearby theme park instead of training ...
I'm honestly fuming
Like fuming
I bet that was his plan all the long and he is worried if he doesn't tell me kids will tell me by accident !

OP posts:
DoesHePlayTheFiddle · 11/09/2021 09:09

Oh, for goodness sake. Ditch him. Unless you enjoy the fortnightly meal and don't want anything further.

something2say · 11/09/2021 09:18

Yes he wants to keep a boundary. If that's not for you, take it as a sign.

How shit tho, on what was meant to be a happy day for all.

However dont dwell on it. Get up and get started on your best friend's day. This can wait xxx

Ourlady · 11/09/2021 09:22

What a shitbag.

ladymuck111 · 11/09/2021 09:22

Wow he seems like a total arsehole.

Enjoy the wedding and forget about him for now. Then decide where you want to be with him. A fortnightly meal and a bag full of excuses don't seem to be a very good future.

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