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Original poster

Partner is on dating site

83 replies

AliciaF1989 · 07/09/2021 09:16

I have been with my partner for a year. We live together and I am 5 months pregnant with our first child.

Recently he left his email inbox open on his laptop and I noticed he was receiving a lot of email notifications from Match.com. I've never seen him get them before. I knew he used to use dating sites couple years before we met (we met in real life). I never thought much about it, we have been in a committed relationship and planning future together. But the sudden influx of these email made me think he must have recently become active on that site again.

So I created a fake profile and set location and age parameters- and yes he's there. His profile looks old- old photos, scarce info and it even says he's 'looking for a real relationship'- I do believe it's profile from his old online dating days. But he's been logging in recently.

I didn't tell him about my fake profile. I only told him that I've seen his inbox accidentally and saw the influx of Match emails. I asked him- are you active on it? Are you unhappy and seeing anyone behind my back? He denied repeatedly and said it's spam from his old dating days, they just keep sending these emails automatically. He repeatedly assured me and swore to God he's not seeing anyone else, he only wants me and has never and will never go behind my back. He said he would unsubscribe from these emails.

That was 2 weeks ago. Ive been monitoring his login activity on the site since - he still logs in every 3 days or so.

So he lied about not having an active profile and not only didnt unsubscribe but still checks the site out regularly. He's a good and caring partner otherwise and I love him. He works corner from home and is back home right after work, I don't see him disappearing or going out- except with his child from previous relationship. If i confronted him, demanded to see his profile and got the worst kind of answers- i would need to move out while pregnant and go through housing hell/ temporary accomodation etc... im a low earner w/o savings.

Turn blind eye and observe? Thoughts?

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 25/05/2022 07:11

So pleased to read this update!

Good for you. I hope you and your baby go on to have wonderful life together ❤

pixie5121 · 25/05/2022 09:15

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Overthewine · 25/05/2022 09:28

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Overthewine · 25/05/2022 09:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Moonface123 · 25/05/2022 09:55

l would be torn not to commit a criminal offence on this snake in the grass.
A real man would be busy preparing for life with a baby on the way, not chatting to random women online, this is bloody insulting to you and your baby, open your eyes to what his actions are telling you with respect to how much he values his pregnant partner and unborn child. He' s already proven himself to be a liar and totally unreliable. Turn a blind eye now and you will pay a hell of a price further down the line.
He' s not on line simply to chat, thats for sure.

PerseverancePays · 25/05/2022 13:14

So sorry things didn't work for you. It's hard to believe some people are so shallow and untrustworthy. The only shred of comfort you could take is that at least you didn't put up with it for years hoping that he would gain sone integrity.

Whatabambam · 25/05/2022 18:06

I'm glad you have moved on with your LO and had the courage to leave him. Good luck OP and enjoy time with your precious baby

beachgirlsareus · 21/12/2024 02:49

AliciaF1989 · 07/09/2021 09:16

I have been with my partner for a year. We live together and I am 5 months pregnant with our first child.

Recently he left his email inbox open on his laptop and I noticed he was receiving a lot of email notifications from Match.com. I've never seen him get them before. I knew he used to use dating sites couple years before we met (we met in real life). I never thought much about it, we have been in a committed relationship and planning future together. But the sudden influx of these email made me think he must have recently become active on that site again.

So I created a fake profile and set location and age parameters- and yes he's there. His profile looks old- old photos, scarce info and it even says he's 'looking for a real relationship'- I do believe it's profile from his old online dating days. But he's been logging in recently.

I didn't tell him about my fake profile. I only told him that I've seen his inbox accidentally and saw the influx of Match emails. I asked him- are you active on it? Are you unhappy and seeing anyone behind my back? He denied repeatedly and said it's spam from his old dating days, they just keep sending these emails automatically. He repeatedly assured me and swore to God he's not seeing anyone else, he only wants me and has never and will never go behind my back. He said he would unsubscribe from these emails.

That was 2 weeks ago. Ive been monitoring his login activity on the site since - he still logs in every 3 days or so.

So he lied about not having an active profile and not only didnt unsubscribe but still checks the site out regularly. He's a good and caring partner otherwise and I love him. He works corner from home and is back home right after work, I don't see him disappearing or going out- except with his child from previous relationship. If i confronted him, demanded to see his profile and got the worst kind of answers- i would need to move out while pregnant and go through housing hell/ temporary accomodation etc... im a low earner w/o savings.

Turn blind eye and observe? Thoughts?

I am sorry this happened to you 🙁. I would either let him reach out to you on there or vice versa and lead him on like no tomorrow. Keep asking him to meetup so he gets all dressed up and tells you he’s going out then cancel. Just to watch him get frustrated. Then after enough times actually meet him and greet with some pretty divorce papers.

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