Hear me out before you come to any conclusions.
Me and dp have a dc. Our dc is nearly one years old. In this whole time we have been out once together. I know that having a dc is time consuming however I just dont think this is acceptable. We are both very young and should still be , at least attempting, to have some form of a relationship together. Our sex life has dwindled since my pregnancy, initially on my behalf but now it's simply because I feel no romance there and cant go from "mummy mode" to " sexy girlfriend" based on nothing.
Recently though things have got worse. Dp is always tired. Fair enough so am I. But he is too tired to go out, or we are too broke. He is too tired to talk. When we do have a quite moment he is guilty of just sitting on his phone and doing nothing. In his words he needs "down time" and when it does come about he wants to do nothing. We dont even talk anymore.
Our routine goes as follows:
he wakes up for work
I wake up look after baby
He comes back by the evening
We tend to baby
Baby goes to bed by 7
We have dinner by 8ish
He is too exhausted to do anything else and wants to be in bed by 9/10 and is always asleep by ten.
I cant do it anymore. I have CONSTANTLY tried to communicate how disconnected I'm feeling from him emotionally. And he either falls asleep whilst I talk to him or doesnt want to hear me out because its always "late" when we finally have time to talk. I'm sick of it. He shuts me down and says this is what having a baby is. Yes it is to a degree but I think we could at least make an effort to go out once a week even if its just for a walk! We should have time to talk. Now all we talk about is the baby. It's got to the point where talking or any intimacy just feels awkward and like it's with a friend.
I feel so shrugged off and it hurts me that he has no good answer as to why we have only been out once together since dc was born given she is nearly ten months old.
We've been arguing about it alot as well. So whenever we do communicate it's pretty negative and depressing.
I'm not even mid twenties! What sort of life is this. I'm so unhappy and recently been realising this is why people start feeling neglected and pushed into cheating. Obviously I dont want to. That would be going against my own morals. But I'm desperate just to feel that connection with someone again. I dont see why, just because I have a baby someone that I must have a life sentence to a dp those does the bare minimum effort towards our relationship. I've been secretly thinking about speaking to an ex, and getting back with him. It's so wrong. What can I do though? Things dont seem to be getting better and all my life consists of is looking after a baby rinse and repeat. Me and dp had dc quite quickly together so there is still so much we didnt get to do together. Simple things like going to a museum ect...