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Original poster

Am I that repulsuve?

54 replies

Fullerene · 29/08/2021 18:50

  1. 2 children, teen and a barely-out-of todderhood child.

Am overweight (well, obese at 5'3"), working f/t, earning ok. Autistic with difficulty remembering faces/ names, but can sort of see social cues. Mental health issues. Divorced, very recent;y. Ex-boyfriend (NOT ex-husband, took a year to get divorced) just said "hell no" to sleeping with each other again; he knows I can be quite reactive. I am on medication for depression.

Am I that repulsive? I am loyal, affectionate, supportive. Am good in bed, reasonably aspirational. But for some reason, I seeem to be repulsive to my ex (less money, younger). Am I repulsive by my looks/ situation? Will I ever find someone who loves me the way I am and doesn't comment "hell no" to sleeping with me ever again?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 29/08/2021 18:52

Um why did you ask yout ex to have sex with you?

Clearly he found you attractive at one point. I doubt it’s the physicality more he doesn’t want to get involved with you in that way.

ConfusedNoMore · 29/08/2021 18:55

I think many people would say hell no to sleeping with their ex. They usually split up for a reason. He's been blunt which is hurtful but is far healthier than being used for sex. Much better to just move forwards.

It does not mean you are repulsive. Clearly you are not as you have been married and had another relationship since. Try and focus on yourself for a bit and your self esteem. Ex has done you a favour.

MushMonster · 29/08/2021 18:58

Hell no to be fwb with an ex! That is emotional torture!
You are taking this aimed at you, physicall appearance, but most people will not want to have sex with an ex. Too complicated!

Pinkbonbon · 29/08/2021 19:00

Or maybe he is just a dick?

Also, I have attractive exs that I wouldn't sleep with again. One simple reason being that I think it best not to go over past territory. Things end for a reason.

I think you should remove this asshple from your life. And concentrate on looking after yourself.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/08/2021 19:02

Why are you asking an ex to have sex again? I would say hell no, too.

Neverrains · 29/08/2021 19:02

Why did you ask your ex to sleep with you?
I wouldn’t sleep with any of my exes either, and none are repulsive. But we split up for a reason!

doingnothing · 29/08/2021 19:10

Most people would say ‘hell no’ at sleeping with an ex, he did nothing wrong Confused

FionnulaTheCooler · 29/08/2021 19:14

Or maybe he is just a dick

I don't think he's a dick for having a boundary and not consenting to having sex with the OP just because she wants to. They're exes, maybe it would be detrimental to him to go back there and he's trying to move on.

WorraLiberty · 29/08/2021 19:14

Huh? Who wouldn't say hell no to sleeping with an ex? Confused

Pinkbonbon · 29/08/2021 19:15

@FionnulaTheCooler

Or maybe he is just a dick

I don't think he's a dick for having a boundary and not consenting to having sex with the OP just because she wants to. They're exes, maybe it would be detrimental to him to go back there and he's trying to move on.

No, he is a dick for saying 'hell no!'. Especially knowing that op us not very happy in herself.
WorraLiberty · 29/08/2021 19:15

@Pinkbonbon

Or maybe he is just a dick?

Also, I have attractive exs that I wouldn't sleep with again. One simple reason being that I think it best not to go over past territory. Things end for a reason.

I think you should remove this asshple from your life. And concentrate on looking after yourself.

What the fuck?

Why is he a dick and an asshole for not wanting to sleep with an ex?

FlumpsAreShit · 29/08/2021 19:16

Maybe it's hell no let's not open that can of worms again? We are all unattractive to some people, attractive to others and sometimes attractive then suddenly not attractive to the same people. It's not a metric that makes you any more or less valuable as a person and I'm sure there are plenty of potential partners out there who would be thrilled to get naked with you.

WorraLiberty · 29/08/2021 19:16

Oh come on, he said 'Hell no'. Not 'Hell no you ugly munter'.

I don't think you can hang him for that.

Pinkbonbon · 29/08/2021 19:17

Because he could easily have said 'no'. However it sounds like instead he chose to say it in a nasty manner.

Original poster
Fullerene · 29/08/2021 19:21

He is happy to sleep with other exes, that's why it stings so much

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 29/08/2021 19:21

@Pinkbonbon

Because he could easily have said 'no'. However it sounds like instead he chose to say it in a nasty manner.
Um, he could have said hell no in shock, Christ I’d say hell no to shagging an ex, doesn’t mean I find them repulsive nor would I have thought it was nasty.

I mean sure he could have said, “that’s a lovely offer, thank you, and normally I’d love to but as you’re an ex I will use all my willpower to refrain”

But most of us would say hell no, fuck no, no fucking way, you having a laugh, or something along those lines.

AttaGirrrrl · 29/08/2021 19:21

I’d say “hell no” if any ex asked me to sleep with them, not because they’re repulsive, but because we split for a reason!

Start again. Find someone else to sleep with / have a relationship with. Not an ex.

Bluntness100 · 29/08/2021 19:22

@Fullerene

He is happy to sleep with other exes, that's why it stings so much
Is this for real? He’s not some piece of meat to be used for sex. The man is allowed to pick and choose his partners. Just becayse he has sex with one ex doesn’t mean he has to shag them all on request.
Neverrains · 29/08/2021 19:26

Is this for real? He’s not some piece of meat to be used for sex. The man is allowed to pick and choose his partners. Just becayse he has sex with one ex doesn’t mean he has to shag them all on request

Exactly this.

doingnothing · 29/08/2021 19:26

@Fullerene

He is happy to sleep with other exes, that's why it stings so much
so?! He’s allowed to choose who he WANTS to have sex with ffs. The creepy entitlement coming off you is shocking
Original poster
Fullerene · 29/08/2021 19:30

Ok. I guess that is a yes. I am not your traditional beauty or gf material. I have always been rejected. I guess this is just another one. FWIW I didn't ask. I merely suggested potentially staying over, as friends, like he does with others. Conversation then went like this. But okay. It's fine. I just wanted to know.

OP posts:
Legomania · 29/08/2021 19:31

Surely you can see that there are other reasons than repulsiveness not to sleep with an ex?

Echobelly · 29/08/2021 19:33

Don't let what he thinks (or might be thinking, did he even actually say it was lack of attraction?) define you, get on with your life and find someone who wants to be with you Smile

Neverrains · 29/08/2021 19:34

Why did you split?

stinkycheeseman · 29/08/2021 19:38

I think you need to forget about your ex, and spend some time on you. I n the nicest way, you need to find some other ways of validation. Good luck 🤞