Am I that repulsuve?

[Fullerene]

35. 2 children, teen and a barely-out-of todderhood child.

Am overweight (well, obese at 5'3"), working f/t, earning ok. Autistic with difficulty remembering faces/ names, but can sort of see social cues. Mental health issues. Divorced, very recent;y. Ex-boyfriend (NOT ex-husband, took a year to get divorced) just said "hell no" to sleeping with each other again; he knows I can be quite reactive. I am on medication for depression.

Am I that repulsive? I am loyal, affectionate, supportive. Am good in bed, reasonably aspirational. But for some reason, I seeem to be repulsive to my ex (less money, younger). Am I repulsive by my looks/ situation? Will I ever find someone who loves me the way I am and doesn't comment "hell no" to sleeping with me ever again?

You are hurt by his rejection and jealous of his other ex. That’s pretty normal but its not normal to catastrophise that into questions about being repulsive. That’s an over reaction.

Everyone experiences rejection. That includes good looking, charming and talented people.

If you want to have any form of relationship you need to be able to deal with rejection and accepting the right of others to say no to you. Even a hell no.

You’re recently divorced and have had another relationship start and since leaving your husband, your self esteem is low. There are other things I’d be focussing on than whether or not someone you’re no longer dating who sounds like he’s pretty promiscuous wants to shag you.

Who’s the father of the youngest, your ex husband or someone else?

Don’t pin your self worth on who does or doesn’t want to shag you. It will lead to bad choices and heart ache.

Try and focus on yourself, improving what you want to, embracing what you like about yourself, spend time with your children, meet up with friends.

You and the most recent ex broke up for a reason so don’t even think about going back there.

I don't read 'hell no' to men 'no, you're repulsive'. For me, it means 'No way. That would without doubt be a bad idea.'

Not a reflection of how you look / how good the sex would be. He just doesn't want to have sex with you again (and you agree, so there's no problem surely?)

I have a couple of male friends I would say ‘hell no’ to sleeping with. They’re definitely not repulsive and objectively quite attractive, in fact I fancied one quite a lot when we first met as teens, but the relationship I have with them now is so platonic that I would just never go there. Sometimes it just reaches that point with members of the opposite sex where you realise there is no way you would ever sleep with them even if the opportunity arose, it doesn’t mean they’re repulsive but just that there are too many other factors that would get in the way of finding them attractive in that way.