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Original poster

Completely blindsided by this, how do I play it?

64 replies

Blindsideda · 28/08/2021 14:56

On the way to see DP of a year. He’s text this morning with dinner plans. I get a text from a close friend with a screenshot of him on a dating app?! She is dating avidly and just come across it.

I don’t get why he’s do this? I feel sick.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 28/08/2021 14:59

I would end it right now and not even waste another moment of my time. He's a cheat, that's why he's doing this. Be grateful your friend told you. I'm sorry op, but hold your head high and move on. Dump and block.

Original poster
Blindsideda · 28/08/2021 15:01

I just can’t believe it @Aquamarine1029 we were even talking about online dating the other day and how it was so nice to no longer be on it. I feel so sick and confused. He’s always seemed so sincere and lovely

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 28/08/2021 15:02

I'm really sorry, op. It's a massive shock. Is it a long distance relationship?

torchh · 28/08/2021 15:03

Has he just forgotten to deactivate?

FinallyHere · 28/08/2021 15:03

Ooofff, that's a blow.

Easier to rip the plaster off quickly, and move on.

GoodnightGrandma · 28/08/2021 15:04

How recently was he active on it ?

Original poster
Blindsideda · 28/08/2021 15:06

He definitely didn’t have the app on his phone last week as I was on it looking for another app beginning with B when we were in the car together!!! I’m just shocked. See him a few times a week. He’s a cunt. I’m so angry and upset and now ten mins from his house pulled over

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 28/08/2021 15:07

He could have hid the app. Did you actually search his apps including the ones bunched together ?

SunbathingDragon · 28/08/2021 15:07

Just because he doesn’t access it via an app, doesn’t mean he doesn’t regularly go on it.

Just turn around, go home, and cease contact with him.

I’m sorry. Flowers

Kithic · 28/08/2021 15:09

Any chance he had forgotten?

Can friend ping him (or whatever it is they do?)

idontlikealdi · 28/08/2021 15:10

Has he just not deleted it?

yourestandingonmyneck · 28/08/2021 15:10

@Blindsideda

I just can’t believe it *@Aquamarine1029* we were even talking about online dating the other day and how it was so nice to no longer be on it. I feel so sick and confused. He’s always seemed so sincere and lovely
It is possible he just hasn't deactivated it....but after a year that does seem unlikely.

I would want definite proof first though, so there was no manoeuvrability for excuses.

Could your friend message him and see what he says? Then you'd have your answer for sure.

Suprima · 28/08/2021 15:11

He’s not your DP. You don’t live together.

And this is why….then it would make it harder for him to shag about.

His comment about ‘how nice it is to not be on dating apps’ is him out and out mugging you off.

Please don’t waste another minute on him.

Dragonsbe · 28/08/2021 15:11

Your profile can appear even when you deactivate

TheChip · 28/08/2021 15:13

Yeah definitely have friend message him. You being late for dinner might make him be lured to the app out of frustration waiting for you.

Original poster
Blindsideda · 28/08/2021 15:15

He knows my friend. He won’t contact her on it even if she did. @Dragonsbe how do you know that?

OP posts:
Imadogcalleddill · 28/08/2021 15:15

Speak to him first. He could just have forgotten about it.
Can friend see when he was last on there?
Don't just dump him.

Original poster
Blindsideda · 28/08/2021 15:18

It’s not about when he was last on it, we both said we’d deactivated it months ago

OP posts:
Welshgal85 · 28/08/2021 15:22

Oh OP I’m so sorry this has happened. Are you going to confront him about it? What did your friend say his profile was like?

PalmsandCharms · 28/08/2021 15:22

Why don't you ask him? Maybe he's been on there prior to you meeting and hasn't deactivated. I suspect I might pop up on a dating app somewhere as I was on them before meeting my OH. I hadn't used them for years but I think I probably never deleted myself from some of them.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/08/2021 15:22

@Blindsideda

It’s not about when he was last on it, we both said we’d deactivated it months ago
There you go. He's a fucking liar. I wouldn't even bother talking to him about this. He will only lie and gaslight you.
TheChip · 28/08/2021 15:23

Could his version of deactivating just be deleting the app?
I dont believe that would be the case, but just trying to give the benefit of the doubt.

bamboocat · 28/08/2021 15:26

Does this screenshot your friend sent you have a date on it?

Aprilx · 28/08/2021 15:27

@Blindsideda

It’s not about when he was last on it, we both said we’d deactivated it months ago
I would think it is everything about when he was last on it!

He might think deleting is same as deactivating and have deleted from his phone (but still access elsewhere maybe).

Original poster
Blindsideda · 28/08/2021 15:28

I want to check his phone but if he’s done it recently he’s probably changed the password

OP posts: