Gaslighting step parent

[Gonnagetgoing]

I visit my parents on a bi monthly basis yet my step father and I don’t talk and he gaslights me into believing abusive things that happened to me didn’t happen.

I now do not wish to visit them in the family home or visit my mother separately.

Why does someone gaslight others? If he would admit to me what he did I would have far more respect for him and I’ve told him so.

It's not in his interests to admit to anything. I am amazed how people can believe their own version of the 'truth' when it's utter bollocks.
Sorry you're going through this.
If your M is ultimately loyal to him you may have to step away.

Abusers abuse, and gaslighting is one of their tools. He hasn't changed.

Because they are abusers.

You dont owe your abuser any respect.
Not one bit. He abused you and get is not sorry and he continues thr abuse by trying to make you doubt your own history.

Just steer well away. Dont try to understand it. Just keep yourself safe from toxic people.

Ok.

My mother and brother both want me to “move on” from a family row with my stepfather a few years ago (started by me but my stepfather has always been abusive).

Now I get texts or phone calls saying “leave the past behind forget about it” and I can’t. Not when someone has ignored me for years. I actually visited them at the weekend to try and sort things out as my mother is ageing and i’d like a resolution. Got my stepfather being rude so I was rude about his parents upbringing of him which of course he disliked and came at me about it.
Tried to resolve this yet he can never see why he’s rude. Mother and brother always stick up for him and i really want to go NC but I have a young niece and nephew whom I’m very close to.

If I go NC I’ll have no one.

Yes I think I will have to step away.

I’m not feeling well today (bad cold) but met my mother and family friend for nice outing. Came back to mother’s house and stepfather tries to start an argument, why I don’t know? I feel like I’m painted as the ins with issues and I really don’t have them. Yes I behaved badly in arguments in the past but I’m not all bad.