Would this irritate you?

[stressyseptember]

Probably one for AIBU but ... Dp wears tee shirts with images on - as in like Marvel Comic characters. I have never liked this tbh but lately it's started to irritate me to the point I'm wondering if it's about to trigger the ick. If I'm honest, I think it's a tad puerile. He's 40. I'm 46.

Now, I'm someone who just doesn't do this and never have. I don't see the need to parade that I like a brand or tv/film or for it to define me in some way. I don't buy branded clothing either where the brand name is highly visible.

Of course, he can wear what he wants. I still don't like it. I suspect he's never going to stop and (in my mind) 'grow up'. I suspect, too, I'm being unreasonable to be irritated.

I never say anything to him though I do tell him when I think he's looking nice (and invariably this is when he's wearing plain tee shirts).

So, to gauge the extent of my own (possible) unreasonableness, would this irritate you in a relationship?

I see your point of view but I think he obviously likes these childhood superhero figures and chooses to wear them on his top? I mean you can kind of see it’s a bit embarrassing but then shoe on other foot actually he can wear what he wants kind of thing ..

How long have you been together

No, this wouldn't bother me at all.

*Unless the t-shirts had offensive slogans, then it would irritate me.

I see your point. My DP (28) has marvel tops for bed.

And that's the way it will stay. For bed

Nah, I'm a complete geek for the stuff I am a fan of so I'd be okay with this even though it's not my thing.

The superhero movies aren't really kid stuff are they?

But it's not my relationship, you are allowed to feel how you feel about it/him. But you can't be controlling about it.

I think this is more related to the fact you say that he wont ever 'grow up'. Whats the real ick?

I hate those style of T-shirt's too and do assume that the man wearing it has a certain childish type of personality 😬 Sorry!
Perhaps just encourage him to wear them when more casual or around the house if possible?

I hate this sort of thing and he would not be for me.

I think other things would have to be irritating me too. Is he getting on your nerves generally and the t shirts exacerbate it?

Wouldn’t be for me to be honest, but he’s your bloke, and you are with him. It’s not like he’s changed his style. You chose to be with him despite his taste in clothing.

Same issue, but with band tshirts - usually metal. I've been slowly but surely replacing with loving gifts of less garish, less I'm-a-teenage-metaler tshirts with just small band logos instead of whopping great big pictures/names.

It's only just occurred to me that if DH is still wearing the superhero and cartoon t-shirts at 40ish, which is kind of ok, he'll still be wearing them at 50. Hmm.

I'm sorry to say but I completely agree with you OP - I can't stand pop-culture related clothing, homewares, jewellery... just not my style at all. Some people love that stuff and more power to them, but I just do not like it at all.

My husband has one pair of pop-culture related PJs which I have permitted but that's my limit, if he had anything else, especially anything that is to be worn outside of the house, I would definitely be in ick territory!

Wouldn't bother me at all. I like seeing different T-shirt's on people, band or otherwise. It's an expression of their personality and interests - and can be a conversation starter for me

I* think this is more related to the fact that you say that he won't ever 'grow up'. What's the real ick?
*
This has made me think. There are, of course, other things that irk me. He can be stubborn, defensive and a little argumentative at times. However, so can I. I think relationships are not perfect so we rub along and resolve those things when they come up.

He's 'adult' in loads of ways that my ex wasn't. He can organise things, stand his ground and make his point clearly to others when needs be, is confident socially, knows a lot of stuff, etc. My ex was a man-child.

He's into film, archive telly, gaming and I guess these type of tee shirts are common to that culture. It's just very far removed from where I am culturally - Radio 4, walks, gardening, massage, eating out, wine.

Now, he does come on walks with me - because he knows I love it and he has helped construct things in the garden (a pond, greenhouse) but it definitely is something he's doing for me rather than a genuine interest. Similarly, I'll go to places where he wants to visit as it's been the film location or whatever.

He's great with my kids - older teenagers and supports them in lots of ways. When he's with me, he regularly tells me he loves me, brings small presents, says my body is lovely (it's 2 stone overweight at the moment). All good stuff there.

We don't live together but see each other at weekends. Been together 4 years.

I do wonder if there's longevity in relationships where there are genuinely no common interests.
What 'binds' us - or has in the past as this past year has been beset with other unrelated problems - is that we laugh together. We banter well as a rule and find the absurdity of life funny.

He sounds like a very nice man OP

My OH wears the same. He jokes 'I bet you're hot for my novelty T-shirt's, aren't you?'

I honestly couldn't give less of a shit what the man chooses to put on his body, he's gorgeous to me.

I think there can be longevity in relationships when you don't have much in common ... but it depends what you want out of a relationship? I have been married over 30 years and although we met through a shared interest over the years our hobbies, interests etc have gone in completely different directions. Both of us have close friendship groups where we have shared hobbies (the groups would never meet ) and both us are very happy doing 'our own thing'. I am currently on holiday on my own which suits both of us. DH frequently goes away on his own to follow his own interests.

Yet we seem happy enough together ... I do find some of his golf T shirts really ugly and I am sure he thinks the same about my frumpy dress sense, but we just ignore things like that!

Permitted? I’m not sure you get to veto what someone wears do you? I sure as hell wouldn’t want someone pressuring me about what I wear. You can express an opinion but it seems such a minor matter to get bothered about unless he’s very scruffy overall.

In the grand scheme of things, and the spectrum of male behaviour, I would let this go.

He sounds like a good egg.

I know this is pot kettle black but I would hate it. And I'm into retro, buy a lot of outfits from vintage fairs and I bought a Top of the Pops Tshirt yesterday. I also have a Flashdance one but that's it. I don't go around looking like a museum piece as I mix things up with current items.

My partner loathes slogan or logo T-shirts too and thinks like you OP. I tend to think that it's rather childish and some people are like that.b. A friend of ours, 47, has a light sabre!!!

It wouldn't really bother me as long as he dresses appropriately when you go out for dinner etc. He sounds like a nice man.

I think you have summed up your true feelings here OP:

He's into film, archive telly, gaming and I guess these type of tee shirts are common to that culture. It's just very far removed from where I am culturally - Radio 4, walks, gardening, massage, eating out, wine.

Personally, I wouldn't bother me, but I am very much more like your DH in terms of fashion sense and interests. He is essentially a walking advertisement of everything he enjoys (and you don't I'm assuming?). I can imagine that even if he did go along with the things you like to do, it would perhaps raise a few eyebrows amongst others. Are you worried about how they would judge him and by default you?

People can have long lasting relationships without the same interests as long as they have the same values. But in those instances you have to accept they're not always going to be the person you do stuff with all of the time.