Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

New man & facebook

60 replies

Sparksflying · 15/08/2021 16:17

I started seeing someone a few weeks ago. He was a friend from many years ago so definitely not a stranger. I just said something about adding him as a friend on Facebook and he wasn’t keen on the idea. He’s still has his ex on there and is still good friends with her (they chat and meet sometimes) and his friendship didn’t bother me at all. Just feels a bit strange that he’s not comfortable adding me. Probably sounds a bit silly but I’m quite wary with new relationships.

OP posts:
Feelingoktoday · 15/08/2021 16:18

Far too soon. I only add good friends to GB not someone I’ve dated for a little while.

category12 · 15/08/2021 16:22

Depends - does he have a massive friends list or a small one?

Original poster
Sparksflying · 15/08/2021 16:24

@category12 I’d say small to medium.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparksflying · 15/08/2021 18:02

Bump

OP posts:
namechangeandNC · 15/08/2021 18:05

I don't even have my DH on fb. It isn't a part of our lives. I've not used it for goodness knows how long and him for even longer.

Hulalucy · 15/08/2021 18:07

@Sparksflying that would be a red flag to me.

RevolvingPivot · 15/08/2021 18:09

I think you should have added him without asking. But yes I'd want to be added to it to find out more about him.

Original poster
Sparksflying · 15/08/2021 18:24

Thanks. Yes, kind of wish I had just sent the request now!
I’ll leave it a bit a see how things go. He says he doesn’t like his picture all over social media. I’ve got no intention of announcing us as a couple on fb -far too early days. It’s just a bit uncomfortable that he clearly doesn’t want me as a friend on there yet is happy to be physically close to me 😟

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparksflying · 15/08/2021 18:53

@RevolvingPivot thanks. Wish I had just added him

OP posts:
wanttomarryamillionaire · 15/08/2021 20:12

Hes hiding something! He probably hasn't actually split up with the ex!

Shellfishblastard · 15/08/2021 20:14

I wouldn’t want to add someone I started seeing a few weeks ago tbh, it’s still early days

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 15/08/2021 20:30

He says he doesn’t like his picture all over social media.

Sadly ime hes got a partner.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 15/08/2021 20:32

Yeah big red flag.

CMSdividend · 15/08/2021 20:34

What's his profile pic of? Have you gone through his prior pics?

bathsh3ba · 15/08/2021 20:35

I think there's generally a negative reason if someone doesn't want to add you on Facebook after a few weeks. Something they don't want you to see, or someone they don't want to see you.

Original poster
Sparksflying · 15/08/2021 20:48

Thanks all. I’m as certain as I can be he’s not with anyone. But he made some comment about people from his old life being on there and wanting to keep things between us for now

OP posts:
Lolabray · 15/08/2021 21:00

Maybe he has feelings for his ex and this is why he won’t add you. Also be careful entering into something with someone who is so attached to their ex. Red flag

OrchestraOfWankery · 15/08/2021 21:04

@Sparksflying

Thanks all. I’m as certain as I can be he’s not with anyone. But he made some comment about people from his old life being on there and wanting to keep things between us for now
Never be anyone's dirty little secret.
Original poster
Sparksflying · 15/08/2021 21:10

@Lolabray yes think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I’m pretty sure they are just friends but think he’s concerned about her knowing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparksflying · 15/08/2021 21:19

@bathsh3ba yes that’s what concerns me

OP posts:
crikey456 · 15/08/2021 21:37

Yes definitely weird.
Sounds like he's hiding something.

Try and add him in a couple of weeks and see what he does!

Original poster
Sparksflying · 15/08/2021 21:40

@crikey456 thanks. I’m pleased others think it’s concerning too - thought I might be overthinking it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparksflying · 15/08/2021 22:44

Maybe he is just being cautious and considerate. He’s still friends with his ex, her family & their circle of friends and obviously we have no idea how things will work out between us…

OP posts:
RogersVideo · 15/08/2021 22:51

It'd be a red flag for me.

Original poster
Sparksflying · 15/08/2021 23:00

@RogersVideo but what can I do…?

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread