New man & facebook

[Sparksflying]

I started seeing someone a few weeks ago. He was a friend from many years ago so definitely not a stranger. I just said something about adding him as a friend on Facebook and he wasn’t keen on the idea. He’s still has his ex on there and is still good friends with her (they chat and meet sometimes) and his friendship didn’t bother me at all. Just feels a bit strange that he’s not comfortable adding me. Probably sounds a bit silly but I’m quite wary with new relationships.

Maybe I’ll give it another few weeks and not mention it at all. Then if things are going well, I’ll just send the request and await the response…
Whilst it’s been a few weeks, we’ve only actually been on 2 actual dates in that time

The majority of memories of the last 13 years of my life is on fb. I wouldn't add or want to add someone I'd only dated for a few weeks. That would be weird. I completely understand his viewpoint.

Are you sure she's an ex?

I tend to find people that hide thing (such as Facebook) hide it for a reason.

How often do you see him? Does he stay over at yours, do you stay over at his?

Only been together a few weeks but known each other from before...I’d say it is strange and his reasoning strange too.

@Sparksflying

Maybe he is just being cautious and considerate. He’s still friends with his ex, her family & their circle of friends and obviously we have no idea how things will work out between us…

It shouldn't matter if they are on his Facebook or not, he can add who he likes when all is said and done. You aren't someone he just met but someone he's known for quite some time.

If you were someone completely new in his if then his argument for not adding you may (and it's a big may) be justified.

But I stand by my gut, he's not adding you because he has something to hide

[quote Sparksflying]@RogersVideo but what can I do…?[/quote]
Check out the ex's profile, and their mutual friend etc. See if there's recent photos of them, or mentions of them meeting together with those friends and family

God. All these suggestions about snooping on his ex’s profile & his old photos etc to find evidence… if I found out someone I’d just started dating was doing that they’d be binned immediately due to their huge red flags!

You've been on 2 dates? I'd leave this one for now - it's a little pushy

You say you knew him before- clearly not well enough to already be a friend on Facebook.

You'll know soon enough if he's still got feelings for his ex or whatever but just 2 dates in means you need to be backing off

@DickDastardly thank you. That’s reassured me a bit. He been quite open about being friends with his ex and I wasn’t worried about that. I think I’ll leave it for now an see how things are in a few weeks

I reckon he's fine getting naked with you but won't add you to fb?
Not a good sign.
Are you exclusive yet?

@RantyAunty hmm that had occurred to me. I’m sure he’s not seeing anyone else - he just doesn’t want me on fb

You've had 2 dates? 2? You need to take a huge step back here. I wouldn't add someone I'd only had 2 dates with even if I knew them from years ago. You're being a little intense. However, I'd see the ex thing as a red flag or certainly as a proceed with great caution flag.

I don't see a future with this 2 Date's guy ..

it really shouldn't be this hard 🌸

I'd assumed you were a few months in and past date 8, at only 2 dates this may just be a fling.

@FlatteredFool - red flag him being friends with ex?

Has he got children and wider family?
Perhaps he prefers to do these things in his own time out of respect for their feelings.

Not a red flag at all. I wouldn't want someone I'd been dating for a while as a FB friend. It's nosy and intrusive.

After 2 dates, I wouldnt add someone in fb

I may have ‘check ins’ or photos on there i dont want him to see, Not because im up to anything , But because its very new and i havent decided if i can trust him / want him involved in my life etc….

Who even uses FB nowadays? You know the guy. You. Know. Him.

@Divebar2021

Millions of people

Thanks for all the comments. I can see why he might be worried I’m some ways but just adding a friend doesn’t mean I’ll be tagging him, etc.
I’m guess I’m very wary of any possible issues..

It’s just a bit uncomfortable that he clearly doesn’t want me as a friend on there yet is happy to be physically close to me 😟

Then you've shagged him too soon. There's nothing wrong with waiting to shag someone until you feel safe, secure and have seen that they're keen to bring you into their life, not just their bed.

Don't look for reassurance AFTER you've shagged; shag AFTER you feel reassured.

Two dates over two weeks is not soon enough to be FB friends. But I'd say it's also not soon enough to be shagging..

Anyway, keep your eyes open. 👍🏻

Of course it's not a red flag FFS, however someone pushing to be FB friends after 2 dates and when told it is too soon sending a request anyway would concern me

Who even uses FB nowadays?

Yer nan 🤣

Oh god, there’s no way I’d be adding a new man at this stage in a relationship. Mind you, I had a whole break up and then pregnancy with a new man without ever sharing it on Facebook.

Maybe once you’ve been together a while and he’s not added you fair enough. Right now I wouldn’t be that concerned.