Divorce lawyer put me off getting divorced! Haha

[AnotherGo]

I've posted on here a couple of times. Difficult DH, depressed, OCD, but also can be v mean/defensive. He has emotional age of 14 yr old (gives me the middle fingers
in fights, leaves the loo seat up to wind me up, sulks, silent treatment, takes to his bed in middle of day, puts on loud action films while I'm trying to work, huffs, puffs). We have two v young DC

Anyway I vowed to stop posting on MN and just call a solicitor. And I did it. I was shaking. Sat in the car with tiny baby in back and did it.

And she was v nice. Explained a bit. But then started saying "you only had your baby six months ago, it is post pandemic, your DH needs mental health support...maybe not best time to make this decision". She suggested counselling and drawing up a post nuptial agreement (why would any DH agree to this?)

I now feel totally deflated. Took me weeks to make that phone call. Maybe i sound like im giving up too quickly. Through sickness and health all that.

She did say to come back to her if I'm sure but I just don't know why she didn't believe me the first time. She actually said "your hormones are all over the place right now" and she made me feel like I was abandoning my mentally unwell husband. Its possible to be mentally unwell AND a total prick btw

Ho hum. Dont quite know what to think now.

I really feel for you, OP.

I had a lazy, useless, overgrown teenager with mental health issues, who couldn't hold down a job, did fuck all round the house and didn't engage with DC properly.

He turned properly nasty when I told him it was over; a massive ego injury which unleashed a narcissistic rage. Threatened 50-50, made false allegations about me, all sorts of horrible stuff.

There's no point in counselling if you hate him & have no respect for him. He sounds manipulative too.

Brace yourself. But don't doubt yourself. Your life will be so much better without him.

No actual advice but what a twat he is. I feel raging on your behalf after reading your last couple of posts. I think once you are out of this relationship you will wonder how you ever coped with it

@AnotherGo

He lost his shit this morning because we forgot the buggy and therefore couldn't go to the shop to get something for lunch. He was like "if I have to eat another boring fucking sandwich at home". He then started saying he wants to sell the house and that is why he's unhappy. I suggested marriage counselling and he started smirking and going "yes, fine, get your own way and just add another thing I have to do". He did most of this conversation while playing a computer age and refusing to look at me. He hates his job but doesn't want another one. I said to him "if you want to sell the house and it will make you happy go for it" because I know he is literally incapable of doing such a thing. He wouldn't know where to start and he doesn't have a clue where he wants to love. But now regretting saying that. I need to disengage from talking to him about important stuff at all perhaps as worried ill say something that he could use against me

He shouted in front of the toddler which makes me feel so guilty and awful.

I've got to get the done now eh. Someone said earlier that you need to go through counselling before getting divorced?? He has agreed to go but the smirk on his face is all I need to see to know how utterly useless it would be

This is fascinating to me - my husband is exactly the same, even says these same phrases. Two kids also. Also hate it.