I feel like I'm his slave

[LeighanneKelly86]

Just a rant... Am I unreasonable to think he should at least clean up after himself?
We have a baby, and other children. I'm currently on maternity leave but usually work 30hrs a week around school hours etc.
I literally always do everything, and I mean I literally even have to put his own shoes away once he's come in.
He's never once made our baby a bottle, he's now 9 months old, he's never fed him, never bathed him or put him to bed, he doesn't look after or cleaned up after his own children that visit. I have to do everything. I get the children to bed and then have to come and do dinner whilst he lays on the sofa; then I have to take his plate out and do the dishes! Even when I was working it was all down to me; now I'm not - it's just an excuse for him. He literally doesn't even make the bed after he has a lay in which is another thing as he's never once got up with the baby, or even feed him during the night when he was newborn; thank god he starting sleeping through at 5 weeks or I would literally have been a zombie.

He thinks as he works that's it, I do everything else. He doesn't even empty the bins, oh and he will just leave rubbish on top of the kitchen bin and not even open it to put it inside!! Leaves dishes all over the side... am I unreasonable to think that he's lazy? Nothing will change when I return to work as he says he will still work more hours. I'm exhausted all the time. Any advice?

Yes he sounds like a lazy arsehole BUT why do you put up with it? Why are you parenting his children when they come? Just stop.
He's lazy because you let him. I don't want to sound harsh but you need to grow a back bone.

Reading it back not only is he lazy he is extremely disrespectful of you. He doesn't give a toss. I'm not a fan of LTB but I would here if he doesn't step up.
Who let's the person they love struggle with everything? He doesn't give a shit.

More fool you. The only advice is to leave and have one less child to look after. Even my children can open a bin.

How many of the DC are yours and how many are his? Obviously the baby is both.

I’d leave him ASAP !

You act like a doormat you will be treated like a doormat.

He sounds like a lazy selfish bastard.

Have you spoken to him?

Even if he lived alone he would have to cook, shop and clean for himself. Does he think woman are there to be his slaves?

How have you ended up with such a poor excuse of a partner/father?

Beyond lazy, selfish and disrespectful.
Kick him out. Then it will just be you and the baby. Much easier!

More fool you.

He's treating you like shit and you're enabling it.

What sort of example are you setting your kids?

No offence bit youve done it with his kids and now you're doing doing with your own.

The dynamic should never have been established in the first place.

My dh works a demanding job abd hes done feeds,.late nights, nappies etc from day one.

What made you act like a 50s surrendered wife for him.

Fuck that shit. You decided having a child with someone who is lazy and disrespectful??

Get rid of him

Well , you don’t have to do any of that do you ? You are being a complete doormat, find your backbone and stop pandering to him. Doesn’t sound like he thinks much of you.

Right so - are you married? Is the house your own? What's your status there? Can you rid yourself of a lot of work by getting rid of him? Throwing him out, I mean, not under the patio.

Find your backbone! Why would you be looking after his children and skivvying after him? Is that what you want your child/ren to learn thats how you should be treated?

He sounds vile and disrespectful to say the least. Do you find that attractive? Do you like acting like his mum?

As a pp said, act like a doormat and you'll get treated like one. Sounds like being on your own would be less effort.

Why are you acting like his slave?

He sounds repulsive. Get rid of the waste of space and enjoy having your baby to yourself - and not having to look after someone else's kids and an enormous man child too.

How’s having a rant going to help?

He’s disgusting. You know that. So now what?

You need to go on strike. No cooking, washing anything for him until he starts respecting you. It will be hard as you're conditioned to look after him but you can't continue to live like this.

@LeighanneKelly86

Just a rant... Am I unreasonable to think he should at least clean up after himself? We have a baby, and other children. I'm currently on maternity leave but usually work 30hrs a week around school hours etc. I literally always do everything, and I mean I literally even have to put his own shoes away once he's come in. He's never once made our baby a bottle, he's now 9 months old, he's never fed him, never bathed him or put him to bed, he doesn't look after or cleaned up after his own children that visit. I have to do everything. I get the children to bed and then have to come and do dinner whilst he lays on the sofa; then I have to take his plate out and do the dishes! Even when I was working it was all down to me; now I'm not - it's just an excuse for him. He literally doesn't even make the bed after he has a lay in which is another thing as he's never once got up with the baby, or even feed him during the night when he was newborn; thank god he starting sleeping through at 5 weeks or I would literally have been a zombie. He thinks as he works that's it, I do everything else. He doesn't even empty the bins, oh and he will just leave rubbish on top of the kitchen bin and not even open it to put it inside!! Leaves dishes all over the side... am I unreasonable to think that he's lazy? Nothing will change when I return to work as he says he will still work more hours. I'm exhausted all the time. Any advice?

When we first got together he did more, it's mainly since I've been on maternity leave. I always picked up the slack before but it's just got worse and I don't know how to stop it. I have a girl who is 7 and he has two children that come round 1-2 nights a week. I have tried to talk to him and all I get is... I work 50 hours a week. It started off as I said when I return to work I would like a cleaner to assist with the house... hoping he would say, I will help you. It was a firm no to a cleaner and didn't offer his services. Just bangs on that he's the worker. Yes I am on maternity leave but two children isn't a walk in the park, the house, shopping - just everything is down to me. I wasn't a doormat and somehow I've just ended up in this situation where I resent doing event thing. When people say... just stop. It's a bit difficult as these jobs need doing, the kids need looking after, laundry needs doing etc. Just feeling like a mug.

But surely you can stop doing stuff for him? Washing, cooking, picking up after him.
Ideally leave, but failing that only do stuff for you and your one 2 kids. Nothing for him and his kids.

You’ve had a name change fail.

You’ve got to stop thinking of it as helping. “Offering his services”? What?

“Just a rant”

“I have to…”

Keep ranting but don’t take any action and you will continue to get what you have.

You do not have to. You are making a choice. Make better choices.

As long as you keep doing it, the lazy arse will keep taking. Stop today!
He’s having a laugh, and clearly has no respect for you.

It sounds like you work the same amount of hours as him at home so his excuse is bogus. Down tools NOW and never forget - the more you do, the more they let you do!

yeah youre acting like his slave. You dont have to live like that you know. Surely youd be better off without?