I can see why you took that so personally because it wasn't worded politely, but @AttilaTheMeerkat was just honestly blunt. Sometimes people do choose another version of their parent, because their parent's behaviour was so normalised growing up that it gives them a very skewed view of relationship.
For example, a woman grows up with a violent father who maybe cheated on his wife multiple times, multiples affairs. The daughter grows up and meets a man who raises his voice, gets red in the face at the smallest upset, goes off sulking when he doesn't get his own way......but at least he's not violent......right? So what if he flirts with other women, at least he's never out late at night shagging around......right? The poor woman thinks she's found a catch, thinks she's found a good partner, just because he's not as terrible as her Dad, but 'not as bad as' doesn't mean healthy or good.
Most women think they have raised the bar, much, much higher than their mothers. They think they've learnt good lessons growing up, but sometimes they don't realise how much their upbringing affected them until they actually experience problems.
I would urge you to think not only about your marriage, but what kind of atmosphere the kids are experiencing. How a man handles stress is extremely important, because unless he does, how on earth will a man cope with work plus screaming children and poor sleep???
Some people are neurotic OP. People associate neuroticism with crying women, but actually, all it means is someone who regularly experiences negative emotions and loses their shit - be it anger, anxiety, depression. Men can be very neurotic, and some of it is not only influenced by upbringing, but is inherent to some people's personalities. I don't believe that it's all nurture that creates us, and unfortunately, your husband might be very much like his father in a way you might have previously imagined.
What you will eventually learn, is that although well-meant apologies are appreciated, it kind of means nothing if it happens again and again. Some people are very ashamed or apologetic.....but the shame and regrets lasts a few days, maybe a few weeks at most, before they settle back into their normal and you're on the same track all over again.
I'm sorry that you are going through this with a small baby, but the biggest baby it seems is not your actual baby, it's your husband. When he behaves like that, he behaves like a two year old having a tantrum. He behaves like a man-toddler, smashing up his toys. I don't know how you manage to respect someone like that or find them attractive.