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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP hates my favourite mug

61 replies

AmITheAsshole · 05/08/2021 02:55

It was a present from my father for my 21st birthday.

He died when I was 27.

This has been my favourite mug for nearly 10 years. Its the only mug I’ll drink out of when I’m at home. My dp hates it though. He thinks I have an unhealthy relationship with this mug and thinks I need to let it go.

Is he right?

OP posts:
squishyegg · 05/08/2021 03:00

He sounds like a wanker

MoonlightWanderer · 05/08/2021 03:01

What kind of mug is it? I could understand if there was something offensive about the design such as offensive language or a distrusting image. If it’s just a normal mug and he’s threatened by the fact that your dad gave it to you then that’s not ok. It’s a massive red flag.

MoonlightWanderer · 05/08/2021 03:01

By distrusting image I meant disgusting image, by the way.

PonyPals · 05/08/2021 03:17

How is this even a conversation?

Inthetropics · 05/08/2021 03:47

Wow. A mug your father gave you when he was still alive and he says you need to let it go. Sounds really mean. Who is jealous of a mug? Who controls what mug their DP uses? And who feels treatened by a lovely reminder of someone's deceased dad? He sounds awful!

Topseyt · 05/08/2021 03:51

Your DP sounds like a twat. Ignore.

LemonLemonLemon · 05/08/2021 03:54

I’ve drank out of the same mug for the past 20 years - DH handles it like the Crown Jewels. He once removed it from an unwitting house guest mid-cuppa. It looks awful, it has a character I don’t even like on it. But it’s the mug.

That’s how your husband should be.

Is it a fear that it will chip or smash and you will be devestated? Is he trying to protect you from that inevitability.

If not then he’s a knob.

user9953279 · 05/08/2021 03:54

Its the only mug I’ll drink out of when I’m at home.

Maybe he's referring to this.

NiceGerbil · 05/08/2021 04:01

He's being petty and weird.

NiceGerbil · 05/08/2021 04:01

And horrible TBH.

Apeirogon · 05/08/2021 04:04

He's jealous of a mug?!

remainsofthesummer · 05/08/2021 04:09

Tell him to mug off!

Shelddd · 05/08/2021 04:09

Unhealthy how? Do you always talk about it? I could see how that could get annoying if you talk about it constantly and call it pet names or something... but if you just use it as your regular mug than he's being unreasonable.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 05/08/2021 04:15

Unless he's worried you'll break it and be devastated or its incredibly offensive then he's being a jerk.

RantyAunty · 05/08/2021 05:15

Keep the mug
Lose the boyfriend

igoogledfunnyusernames · 05/08/2021 05:20

Unless you rub it on your bits and talk about (insert weird voice) daddy I don't see the problem.
I'd lick the cup and talk about how much you love it and creep the fuck out of him.

augustusglupe · 05/08/2021 05:24

No, obviously he's not right.
I have a mug that I bought in a garden centre about 25 years ago. I was with my mum and we both bought similar mugs. She died 20 years ago and although the mug is old and faded I use it every morning for my first cup of tea.
DH knows the significance of the mug and tbh wouldn't even think to question it.
Your mug is a lovely reminder of your Dad. Look after it, as I'm a bit worried it'll get accidentally broken or something.

ChickenTimeBomb · 05/08/2021 05:29

We need a picture of the mug.

He's being weird, not you.

SarahBellam · 05/08/2021 05:37

Mugs are like men. When you've got the right one, you stick. Even if you don't think it's your type at first, even if it has weird bits, even if other people think it's funny looking - when you know, you know.

Somuddled · 05/08/2021 06:29

Idiot. It has huge sentimental value to you. I have a favourite mug that I'd get pretty upset about not being able to use and that only based on liking the texture and weight of it. Knowing this, my husband will make sure it is never used for people who may take less care and he specially marked the box it went in each time we moved.

Next time it gets mentioned say 'You are aware that relationships are about building each other up right?'

NeverButterkist · 05/08/2021 07:05

No he is not right. I was 26 when my lovely dad died and I wish I had a mug I could hold each day.
27 is still young to lose a parent as there are a lot of life experiences you will not share with them. My dad never met my DH or his grandchildren. I have a lot of memories and things he bought for me but I can really understand why that mug means to much to you - it makes your dad part of your day.
Your OH doesn't have to understand but he does need to accept that this is important to you. ❤

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 05/08/2021 07:11

My DD has a little tea cup she had when she was younger. She used it at her dads house. The only thing she cared about when helping to clear his home was this teacup. She is 13. She doesn't drink out of of it because she doesn't really drink hot drinks. But, it takes pride of place on her bed side table. I think if anybody told her to let it go, no matter how old she is or how gentle she is I personally think she would punch them.

YANBU, however I would be so worried it would get broken that I wouldn't use it.

SaltySheepdog · 05/08/2021 07:13

You’ve got a favourite mug and that’s ok

ActonSquirrel · 05/08/2021 07:14

My most treasured possession is a christening present and is as old as I am.

It is jewellery from my dearly departed godmother.

I rarely wear it I'd be devastated to lose it.

I'd be worried about breaking or chipping the mug. The odds of that happening if it is in use daily for over a decade now are high.

clickychicky · 05/08/2021 07:16

Does he actually hate it or is he concerned about your attachment to it in case something should happen to it?

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